Rooftops and invitations

We live tnight and fall tmrw

2008-04-20T00:22:00.002+08:00

Sup

Blacktopdigits.lj
Lj users, please feel free t click add friend.
Thanks (:

K, this is ultra dead.
Hi, bye.

Fire burns in your lungs

2008-02-18T22:35:00.004+08:00

I feel so ttttt-tongue tied.
):

Im gng crazy.
And nobody can ever save me.
When i see your smile, tears roll down my face
Please be happy,
please forget me.
It' will be something we both ought to do
it's something i've decided for you two
I ll pull back away from you
Cupid's arrow struck me dead
It doesnt matter it's all alrdy done anyway.

Whispers, i miss you quite terribly\

IT WAS JUST A LIE UNTIL YOU LEFT, (im just caught beyond repair)

2008-01-20T19:05:00.000+08:00

Its th first post ever since schl started.
Had retreat and 2 days of motivational talk last week.
Its all good now.
Im dng math at home now, first time in 2- 3 years. Not bad huh. {:

Trying so badly t concentrate on studies this year, well, at least my math situation is improving. Cant say much abt Judy Goh's lessons tho, she suck luh. Lolll.
Always whining, shes worse than neckfats ohk! (Ahem, sry Charmainey)
BTW, I MISS YOU LOADS CHARMAINEY!

Anyway, things have been running smooth for these few days. I need t choose a topic for Art O's. So screwed, Sim's so gna murder me. Having alot of mix feelings for th topics. Hmmmm /:
LWS final year exams are also round th corner, shucks.

Lappy's broken, thank God i ve got my computer. This is stupid, im gna get it FIX FIX FIXED! - soon. Hah, OH, SISSY AND I PLANNING FOR CNY SHOPPPING WHOOOOOTS.
Got t plan for Cliuqe (Family part) CNY outing too, so fun.

Yep, oh im having mugging dates soon yo! Anyone interested?!

- Airport, popeyes.
- MP /library.
- Parkw Macs.
- Bugis BK.
- Clarke Quay, starbucks or foodcourt.
- Suntec starbucks.

TEXT ME OHK! THERES GNA BE LOTS OF MUGGING.
(and i swear i ll study, i rlly will do)
Chitra's and Angel's birthdays coming up up up,
18th and 17th year old kiddos.

Updating agn,
Q heemozxzxz.

READ THIS

2008-01-01T21:17:00.000+08:00

Have been pretty busy w myself during th last few weeks of vacation i have left before O's start. I knw what i got t do, study hard and just pray i ll scrape thru. Do you think that time moves rlly quickly? I mean, theres just so much i dnt wna let go, all th memories w everyone. Like th times FOURone gets punished or when we worked and studied tgt for N's. When we went t parkw or th airport t mug. I just feel that, there's so much left undone for 07. I wish i could just press rewind. I ll definately miss everything that happened. New class from LWS, got t knw renfeng and zara, met Kit. Zain, pullat, kai, omar, wilson and soloman from St pats,

th parkw peeps, sparkle sparkle! And th time my sister was in th hospital, i knw Bizi, and when i went t work i met so many great friends as well. All th crazy parties and crashing at ECP w stalker, birthday chalets and much more. I ll miss 07, it was hell of a blast.

As 2007 ends and 2008 begins,
i look back and see all th memories i've been in.
Some good others bad, some held tears and times i regret,
some worries abt th future ahead, th rest was th happy times i created w friends so great
I ll thank god for giving it all t me,
for FOURone, friends, best buddies and my family.
And for all th new friends i've made
Stalker, Maelle, Rianne - You've knocked me dead.
Bizi, pearln and esther, i love you so.
Sheryl from LWS and my dearest Godsister, I TREASURE YOU MOST!
For th others whose names arent up here,
im sorry but im sending all th love, cheers t th new year!
For th parkw gang, i ll remember those times,
every second in inQbox, talking abt life.
I knw i ll miss everyday, every second which wont fade away.
Im hoping th memories carries me on, like 07, 08, bring it on
I love every single on of you, be it family, classmates, friends, its just th things you guys do.
So here i am saying this aloud, thank you for everything th things you've done.
I hope you've enjoyed it as much as i did
Have a great 2008, dont blink cos time moves fast, i dont want you t miss.

HAPPY NEW YEAR YO.
2008

I heart Fosters

2007-12-16T11:20:00.000+08:00

Went shopping w sister and chram` ytd,
went t Peni first, sister got her skinnies and i got my vest and scarf.
Charm` said she's gna be late, so we went off t bugis first, then meet her there.
She was a freaking 2hrs late luh, lolll. Walked ard, sister got some shirts w charmainey.
Trained off t Far east, got Von tay's christmas present and i bought shoes and a shirt there, yep.
Cabbed home w both of them, showered and went out for dinner w family.

Went t parkw, cos dad needa get some stuff, sister went dwn t inQbox t say hi t everyone, and help me buy my hamster shower :D. I love My Hammies! Ohk, then went t have dinner at some steamboat place, th food's nice there, whooots. After eating we went t walk ard, sister and i found out we were back at bugis?! Lollll. Wanted t get shirts from topman/shop, but cousin called and we had t go fetch him. Tsk. He crashed over ytd, all 4 of us sqeezed in a room, how fun.

There was him talking t his gf, sister singing horribly. And p6 sister praying and nagging at me on how much she wanted drum sticks? Tsk. We were supposed t wake up at 7am t send dadddy t th airport luh and have macs breakfast there? In th end, we all didnt go cos woke up late, HAHAHHA. Anyway, gna go out for lunch now, and SHOPPING, ha. @ Centre point? [:
AND,
im getting my new lappy when dad comes back on tues.

RESULTS DAY, N LVL 2007
TUESDAY, 18TH DEC 07'
2PM.

Merry Christmas everyone.

Mary.J/ane

2007-12-14T21:28:00.000+08:00

Ohk, i miss blogging so much.
Its been (1mth +++++.)
Alrighty,

Th last post was about helping maelle and family move sunset bay.
They moved alrdy, i miss playing pool so much & beer. Esp them luh k.
Used t hang out at EA everyday /: Christmas meet up you guys!
Hmmm, there was also Fiona's surprise birthday party.
Celebrated @ yingxin's rooftop, BBQ-ed.
Oh, missed out on loads of parties cos i was busy, sry yo.
Next was `Elle's and Clar's birthdays, celebrated for C only, at seoul gardennnnn.
There was FOURone meet up also & Sentosa w clique. (:
Met Kit, got a cupcake from her, she's so sweet.
Work w Tina and F. Kinda fun and 100% slack.

Met Jiabao, and she happened t knw meekee? Lolll, singapore is rlly small.
Anyways, getting results soon, th 18th. I MISS FOUR/ONE.
There are more t blog abt cos my nov was rlly packed.
But i forgot all that happened! Lolll.

Oh! Baby sister was admitted t hospital like, 2/3 wks ago? Yep. Keanna dengue fever.
Suay luh. Anyway, made new friends, actually only 1. Lolll. Hmmm, oh and im hooked onto FISHERMAN! omgzxzx. I've been wanting t go t hooters @ Clarke Quay cos sandra works there, yep. free beer!! :D Oh, and and and, formed a new band w von tay and von lim, plus audrey. Santa/ falseeeeeee. <3 x a million.

Im getting busy agn cos its nearing th holy season. Shopping w blood related sissy & non blood related sissy charm` tmr @ Peni and bugis! Whoooots. &&&&& Christmas outing w clique soon yo. Sisters and i bringing my mum and dad for christmas dinner at some restuarant.
Say we're sweet!
Ha, oh and had peircing done, mum freaked out at first, but its better now.
Alright, updating agn after results day.

//////// Dnt play hard to get w a bung thats hard to get! //////////////////////////////

Sixx: AM

2007-11-08T16:02:00.000+08:00

Tuesday,
Met Sher, Chitra and Zain, katong-ed then ECPed w Sher and Chitra, yep ha, had a lil of gelare, then went t subway, saw chelsea working there!? HAHAHAH. Went back t KC, met Celeste, talked a lil, then 16ed off. Anyway, supposed t meet Annie and Evelyn @ th clubhouse that night, but they stayed at parkway, so there was just Chitra and i cos Sher went home alrdy, hmmm it was rlly fun though there was just 2 of us.

GOT MAELLE'S AND RIANNE'S NUMBERS OMFGGGGGGGZXXZ! HAHAHAHAHAHA.

Played blackjack and cheat
w them, they are super funny. All of us shared fried rice, like, a tray and we just used th spoons t eat that kind? Hahahahah. Yep, drank about 3 bottles of heniken, omg, pool was th best luh k! I kept winning, hahah. PLUS PLUS PLUS, I GOT SALLY'S NUMBER ALSO, OMG OMG, sparkle sparkle. {:
Chitra asumed that i was drunk and all, cos i was waiting for 16 w her, and lying on th bus stop bench, and i was crapping away, and suddenly, Gary popped out from nowhere and said, ''Oi, what you doing, mabo alrdy luh, can i kick you?'' HAHAHAHAHAH. It was fun, whhoots.

Wednesday,
Followed cousin t parkway t get his Jaychou CD, Ian bought sticks for us, homed. Ard 4 i think, evelyn called and ask me t meet Huishan and her at parkway? Hah, so i went back t parkway, met a new friend call Ray, then then Adeline came, followed by Chitra, sat @ McCafe. Oh i saw Zain also, such coinsidence luh k, loll, told me he waiting for 3 friends, and when they came, one of them was jonathan? Its a effing small world, i swear. Alrighty, after that saw Joshua? Then he look at Huishan and Adeline all, and ask me, all bungs ah? HAHAHHAHA. Yep, Adeline, huishan and evelyn went home and chitra and i played cards, (as usual) till parkway closed.

Gng out ltr w family, hmmm, i cant wait for friday, {:
Oh and Clar's coming back tday, joy joy;
And, I composed loads of songs alrdy rlly rlly happy (:
Ohk, toodles.

(Its been getting better i think)

Jenny!

2007-11-06T00:26:00.000+08:00

Family gathering on Sunday night, yeh it was alright, cousins played w hamsters, got angbaos! AHHAHA [;
Hmmmm, pooled w cousin at Clubhouse.

Ohk went t meet Evelyn @ parkway w Chitra, tday was rlly fun.
Met Evelyn then went over t InQbox t meet Shakina and Ian, it's been so long so long since i've seen her, anyway, met Yanchee at her work place, she look rlly weird, hah. Giant-ed for sushi? Macs-ed and meet Annie, blackjacked alittle, everyone didnt have th mood t play, so went back t parkway, Yachee wanted t meet us after work, but oh well.

Caught up w Ian, talked lots lots, i feel that we ''bonded'' quite alot, like us plus Shakina and Ian, hahaha, they are funny, Ian kept disturbing Evelyn by calling her dawg, from SPCA? Hahaha, so they kept wacking ea other, and i got pulled in into their lil wrestling match? Lolll. Yep, had chicken rice for dinner, th aunty called me Xiao Di (: and went t get hamster hay for Chester and Chestnut, met a new friend tday, Sally, her name sounds super retrofied but but she s rlly hot, HHAHA, rlly. Her eyes sparkle sparkle.

Told Ian and she was like, uh rlly meh? Had a blast tday, though it was only at parkway, stayed there till InQbox closed, helped Ian and Shakina look for some russian doll thingy? Drop on th floor, so we were all crawling on th ground looking for it, cos it was super tiny? Didnt find it in th end, hmmm. Yep, met Chitra's god bro also, forget his name, im gnna call him Kitty, cos th name sounds smth like that, loll. Everyone took 15, send Annie, Evelyn and Ian off and walked Chitra and Kitty home, ha. Super tired. Cousin crashing at my place tnight, played w th hamster sisters. Haha, they are freaking adorable, omg. Chestnut shited on him. Movied, i guess im sleeping early tnight, having another long day ahead tmr {:
Ecp ecp tmr! {:{:{:{:

Oh,
Butter Factory underage party
15th november 07'
Thursday, doors open at 9 t 10 pm i guess till 3, 4am?
(not rlly sure)
$18 bucks, i ll try t get it cheaper for you if interested.
Hmmm, if interested call/ text me please and thank you, 93892127.
}} Helping hannah t sell {

Hey now dont cry, you're trying your hardest

2007-11-05T12:05:00.000+08:00

Clarissa and Von's gone holiday-ing.
Im out of cigs, and i rlly need them now
My heart's nvr been any emptier
Idk whats gng on, whats happening?
Tell me my mistakes, point out th misunderstandings
if there are, tell me.
You totally locked me out from you
I wish you ll hear my side, my say
its not a happy birthday
when i needed you most you're not here
im all lost, idk what t do now
i've been waiting for your reply
it nvr came

Birthday blues

2007-11-04T14:27:00.000+08:00

Th birthday was swell hell.
I was happy and sad, how d you want me t put it, rlly?
I thought you'd understand. But i guess you dont.

You can call me paranoid, or whatever, maybe i am?
I just dnt want you t be used, you get it?
You dnt even knw her, a couple of hours, afew laughs, pictrs and chats, means what?
I dnt want you t be close t her, yknw why, yknw whats happening between me and her now,
I told you th things she did, and you didnt even knw it
Ydnt knw how much i've thought about it, and how much it affected me.
i didnt enjoy my birthday, but at least i got a couple of friends who managed t make me crack a smile. Im sorry, yes im selfish, but its up t you t believe me, d you trust me?
It was my birthday, and all this shit happened
tell me now, where d we go?

Im not pissed w you, not angry, nothing. Just disappointed.
Put yourself in my shoes, what would you d?
Everytime i look at Chester and chestnut, it reminds me of ytd.
I trust you, i did.
D you trust me?
-

Not gnna talk much about th party, dnt have any mood t, stayed at Alison's house ytd, w Annie.
They talked t me, and i guess i got better, drank a little, Charmain was telling me online t cheer up all, im trying t, talking t Evelyn now, it sucks t feel alone. My greatest regret was inviting a couple of friends, i wish i could rewind and change th party t how it was last year, last year was a blast. Clarissa and Von's gng overseas, shaits. Just when i needed them th most. Blackjack buddys. And blackjack always cheers me up. Hmmm, so many things still running in my mind. Just get this straight, im over you.

Loving / You

2007-11-03T01:43:00.001+08:00

Look at th stars (th stars are shining for you)

It gets so hard to walk away
knowing it ll nvr be th same
i miss th times i had w you
midnight calls talks till 2
sometimes i wish t delete
every moment, but it plays on repeat
im sorry t let it go this far
im trying you see, this left so many scars
behind these curtains, behind these walls
you ll see me crying ready t fall
i knw how you feel cos i do too
hoping she ll come back running t you
it seem so easy just t say
hey loveface im forgetting you tday
faking those stupid smiles infront of friends
saying, yeah it came t an end
it still gets so hard t walk away
every step is a heartache
every smile gets harder t fake
every word brings a deeper break
cos knwing it ll end this way

CHESTER!

2007-11-02T23:04:00.000+08:00

Hi, im so so bored at home tday
Hmmmm, watched Tv th whole day? Yep.
Ariane's here now, doing some homework thingy w sister
Played blackjack w youngest sis, she won my money luh k, tsk. Hah
I feel so numb tday about th party tmr? Like i just got this feeling something bad would happen? Yeh, ):
Not gnna pick Von up tmr, shes gng w Clara and Charmain all, hmmmmm.
I ll be rotting at home till tmr night luh, tsk. And th clock is ticking so so slowly
This sucks, oh i miss Chester!
Please cheer up (you)

Now im stuck leaving or loving you
My heart has stop beating torn into two

BLACK.JACK

2007-11-01T22:55:00.000+08:00

WEDNESDAY,
Hmmm, suntec-ed.
Saw Tina and Fiona at pepper lunch, hahaha, they look funny, esp Fiona? Like th uni was too big for her, real big! Yep, ate alot alot. Then 36ed t parkway, Clarissa's idea, spent th entire day playing black jack @ Swiss bake? HAHAHAHA.
Icannotwaitfor/Saturday! {:
(Pictrs will be uploaded soon, i guess)

THURSDAY,
Went t concourse tday, its been freaking freaking long since i've been there.
Bussed down t parkway, met up w Von, blackjacked again, omg. Hooked alrdy.
Hmmm, pasta mania-ed. Met Chitra and 16ed t EA clubhouse,
pool was awesome, hahaha. Hmmmm, blackjack again, but it was super fun.
Saw some ''angmo'' french girls, omg omg omg, super hot, i swear; i was DROOLING LUH. (no luh, didnt!) And this french [i think], guy. He was hot also, got Zac Efron's hair all. HAHAH, tattoos and stuff. Hmmm, yep, they knw me now i guess, so so hot. }}Th girls only luh.

Anyway, we had fun there
Send Clarissa, Zara and Chitra off, and saw th president? They were like, wahhhhhhhhh! I nvr see him in real life before yada yada. And he waved at them, and Clarissa was over th moon? I guess shes in love? AHAHAHHAHA, kidding. Yep tday was fun fun fun.
But got no pictrs /:
And im not gng ANYWHERE tmr? Tsk.
So saddening.

I thought i could live in your arms
Spend every moment i have w you
Stay up all night w th stars
Confess all th faith that i have in you
I had in you

SNAIL SEX VIDEEOZ!

2007-10-31T02:06:00.000+08:00

Ohk, just finished talking t stalker, hah cheered upped alrdy.

Hello kitty jokes are th best! I swear.

Remember how we had those laughs
and how i cheered you up when you were down
Remember me always being there,
even if it hurts me i always cared
Now look at me, tattered and torn
throwned aside like an abandoned toy
Just when i needed you most
You turn around, threw me to the ground
Stuck in reverse and all broken down
Is this how i remember you now?

Hmmmmm, oh convo w Tina just now was funny, here goes,

Keon. says:
You still dng tattoo?
Keon. says:
Th friends foreva one? W hello kitty patterns?
Keon. says:
HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA!
Tina says:
hahahha wth ?!
Tina says:
OHMG FUNNNY
Tina says:
HAHAHAHA SINCE WHEN GOT HELLLO KITTY ALL COME OUT ?! hahhahaha
Tina says:
ohmg laughing away !
Keon. says:
HAHAHAHAHAHH!
Keon. says:
Rlly! you remember not?
Tina says:
no i totally dont rmb HELLO KITTTYS !
Keon. says:
then you and i gnna d th hello kitty one, you insisted on dng that!
Keon. says:
Then i didnt want t, then you say what, hello kitty is th bomb and you love her, cos she got no mouth t nag at you!
Tina says:
nooooooooooooo !
Tina says:
SINCE WHEN DO I LOVE HELLO KITTTY
Tina says:
YOU IN DREAM LAND LUH hahahhahahahhahahahahha
(Cut out boring parts, yada yada)

Tina says:
EH CLASS VIDEO/ SONG HOW /
Keon. says:
Class song how how how?
Tina says:
I DONT KNOW
Tina says:
I NEED MORE PICS TO MAKE THE VID
Tina says:
IM ASKING PPLE FOR THEM
Tina says:
YOU HAVE ?
Tina says:
then the song can put in te video right? rather then usiing the other
Keon. says:
I got alot!
Tina says:
k great
Tina says:
im thinking bout the song thing
Keon. says:
Uh, ohk, so when are we gnna give?
Tina says:
uhm results day
Tina says:
cos everyone has to come and take results.
Tina says:
plus its the last time we'll be a whole class together
Keon. says:
Yes, omg omg, im gnna miss you all when im in china!
Tina says:
HUH YOURE GOING ?!
Tina says:
right, dont lie.
Tina says:
im gonna miss four one alot alot.
Keon. says:
Hahahahahhahahahahahah!
Tina says:
come to think of it, our class bonded alot this year huh
Tina says:
lets cry ?
Tina says:
totallly.
Keon. says:
HAHA.
Keon. says:
eh then our hello kitty tattoos how?
Tina says:
HAHA WHAT HELLO KITTY HUH YOU!

Omg, th convo was rlly hilarious, cant wait for pepper lunch tmr w Clarissa, whoooots.
Oh, and i got th video of th snail sex thing, you can actually hear Clarissa screaming her lungs away, Oh shit its super funny fuck, HAHAHAHAHA. Alright, enjoy.

Hah, its funny right? Please leave your comments or tag. Yep, click on ''COMMENTS'' at th bottom. Th pink one, yep. Haahahahha, lollll.
Alrighty, its like, close t 3AM, im gnna turn in soon yo.
Toodles.

2007-10-30T16:16:00.000+08:00

Night after night
i hear myself say
why cant this feeling, just fade away
there's no one like you
you speak t my heart
its such a shame we're worlds aprt
Imissyou

2007-10-30T04:18:00.000+08:00

Ohk, im finally finally done w th new skin, hah, so how how how.
Its something like Lj? Like, can leave comments, lolll.
Cool right right right.
Editted a lil, its super irritating luh. Ha, but, im done. Yes! Took like about 4 hours!
From choosing skins, t editting and stuff.
Actually, i was waiting for Stalker t return my call, guess she fell asleep?
Ha, alright, got th pictrs of tday w clarissa and charmaine alrdy.
And also, some pictrs w tina and evelyn @ ClarkQuay. {:
Editted yo.

AND @ CLARKQUAY,

Ohk, its nearly 5AM, im gng off t bed now,
toodles.
Oh, please comment, or tag ;Thanks. {:

2007-10-29T22:18:00.000+08:00

Parkwayed all th way tday, got my first present from Von.
Hmmm, she got me cards, taught me t play blackjack and im hooked.
Th cards are super nice, like $13plus. Yes shes th bomb.
Its black, w red and white numbers. Coolio.
Played, i mean, gambled w charmaine and clarissa th entire day, kept winning.
Starbucks and BKed.
Von joined in, won her money, lollll.
Smoked emo a lil, and Von went, '' I wish you ll cry, just cry it all out.''
Anyway, clar forced me t have chicken rice? Tsk. Ha, Oh, we saw this 2 snails fucking!
OMG. hahahahahahahhaha. Videoed dwn.
Had loads of crap tgt, cheered up lots. Went t th playgroud beside greyhouse.
Have like 3784523875482375 memories there luh. /:

Meeting clar again on wednesday, movie-ing. {:
Its my birthday, but im all upset.
Von and clar told me loads of stuff, so yeh. + stalker.
I srsly need t drink, im back t being my emo self, and im trying so hard not t.
So hide th cigs, cos i ll puff non stop ):
I hate this, i wish i nvr knew you
i hate myself for loving you, alot.
Im giving up on you, im scraping every thought w your name,
but still i long for you t stay.

(Videos and pictrs soon)

2007-10-27T23:40:00.000+08:00

Met stalker ytd, stayed out till next morning.
Met at T1, showed her where kyle stand and all. But she didnt drool, loll.
Sky trained t T2, starbucks there, talked alot. Super funny, made up rlly crappy random jokes! Hah, Hello kitty for eg. HAHAHA. Stayed at starbucksy till about 1.45am? Then she wanted t g t th viewing hall, prefered th T1 one, so trained back. Sat there, talked till about 4.30plus? Super sleepy i tell you! Then went t macs for breakfast, walked there. Ha. 36ed and 16ed home.

Tossed and turned, but cnnt sleep? My mind was stuck on thoughts of you*, and th party. After awhile, cnnt tahan alrdy, then drop dead till 1plus PM. Yep, went Lwssom. Th lesson finished early tday. Dinnered w Eugene and Yi xiang, talked about some stupid gang shit. Cabbed home, tired. But i cant sleep, dnt knw why, hahaha. Gng back t church tmr! Omg, like finally, its like a million years since i've seen everyone there.

And im missing my daily dose of drug, fuck.
where are you LF? )))):
7 more days yo!

2007-10-24T23:56:00.000+08:00

Keon. says:
so far got about 45 t 50 peeps gng.
I just might says:
ALOT LEH MADAM
I just might says:
HOW TO ENTERTAIN ALL
Keon. says:
Can you d me a favour?
I just might says:
YA?
Keon. says:
Can you go ealier and like, tick th names of whoever who come?
Keon. says:
Like th doorman.
I just might says:
DOORMAN
I just might says:
I ALONE? ):
I just might says:
i can but i dont want alone ah
Keon. says:
Lolll, need someone responsible like you.
Keon. says:
No no
Keon. says:
you will not be alone
Keon. says:
Th sercurity guard will be w you luh, and if th person's name not on th list, ban him or her, call th sercurity.
Keon. says:
Loll.
Keon. says:
So you will be th sercurity/doorman. Upgrade leh, not bad eh?
I just might says:
HAHA WAH GOT TIPZ?!?
I just might says:
HAHAHAHAHHA
Keon. says:
Lolll, siao ah tips? Oh, i pay you 50cents luh k!
I just might says:
I WANT MORE OKAY
I just might says:
HAHAHA OKAY JOKES
I just might says:
YEAH I'LL DO IT
Keon. says:
Why you so greedy? HAHAHA.
I just might says:
ONLY FOR THAT DAY AH
Keon. says:
ohk
Keon. says:
good!
I just might says:
IM NICEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
I just might says:
HAHAHA
Keon. says:
Yes luh, think i have so many parties meh?
I just might says:
haha
Keon. says:
Ohk, your job is t stand at th door for th whole party, and i will give you 10 mins break t makan. Thats all. stand from 6pm t about hmmm, say 9pm, then rest, from 9.05pm all th way t 11pm. Ohk?
I just might says:
OMGGGGGGGGGGGGG MAD AH
I just might says:
SO LONG?!?!?!
I just might says:
too long ready cannot tahan
I just might says:
will pensan one
I just might says:
*pengsan
I just might says:
i'll be the dorr person for a while
I just might says:
*door
Keon. says:
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH! yeh luh, like duh? I was joking luh, you are srsly super gullible! Omg haha.

2007-10-23T21:16:00.000+08:00

I still need you
&
I still feel you.

2007-10-22T05:02:00.000+08:00

Ohk im updating! Its like, 5AM in th morning, and i cant sleep, no. HAHA.
Anyways, im rlly tired of peeps asking me what i want for my birthday, so i ll make a list! Hah.
Im actually fine w anything, but yknw, if you rlly wnna make me love you loads, here's a hint.

Keon's Top 20 Chart.
1) Scarf from Topman
2) Skinny neck tie, red/ black
3) White or red skinnys
4) Grey cardigan
5) Sling bag?
6) Everlast sneakers (Ohk, its not good t give shoes, but its ohk, rllllllly! loll)
7) Topman gift card!
8) A wallet?
9) Skinny stripe shirts!
10) IDK, a watch maybe (?)
11) Pploriod camera w films, hah jkjk.
12) Guitar! Acoustic please.
13) Zipped hoodie
14) Bears! <3
15) Ashirt or cardigan from Crocodile! Yes yes!
16) Lip peircing
17) More shirts?
18) I wish t stop smoking so much, so dnt get me cigs!
19) A new EZ-link card!? HAHAHAHHA
20) A hug from Jolyn Tan! OMG. lolllll, jokes jokes!
-

Oh, went t th airport just now, which was yesterday, saw Click5 and Fiona went wild? HAHAHAHAH, super hilarious shiat i swear omg. Got autographs and pictrs! Everyone loves Kyle luh, hahaha! And there was this cleaner working there, then he pretend t be th police or smth, cos he got th tag thingy? Lolll, then he ask pple go away and he himself take their pictrs and autographs? Like, wtf luh. HAHAHAH. We made this pathetic poster and gave it t them? OMG, i hope we dnt get on th news, i ll faint, srsly! All th minahs went flirting ard w them? Hahaha, and Fiona and Tina kept cursing at th minahs! Yes, it was rlly funny. Cabbed home @ 12 plus? Hahahahah! Oh, and im jobless.
Ohk, im super hungry now. (Its 0520AM!) Ciao.

2007-10-09T11:16:00.000+08:00

Ohk, im gng chalet-ing till thursday tday.
So you can drop me a tag here, or comment me on friendster or facebook.
Or call me or text me or smth, loll.

I've been pretty tired nowadays, hardly any rest, and when i wanna take it i cant sleep. And when i dnt have th time t, i feel like sleeping, tsk. Its gnna get worse after th chalet, garantee. No sleep at all, Mmmhmm. Followed mum t th market tday, super smelly. One stall vendor mistook me for a boy? WTF, but i was kinda happy tho mum look kinda upset. HAHAHAHAHA.
Oh, towned ytd w Clar and Zara. Ate at food republic, heh. Then t parkway, caught up w Von. Lolll, then homed.

Aw man, i am so so so so so tired. Sheeeeeesh. I need an energy bar or smth.
Alrighty, shall blog again when i return, im gnna miss th internet.
Ciao.

2007-10-08T00:39:00.000+08:00

Ohk just came home, hah.
Guitared tday w kevin, scales suck bigggg big big time.
Smoked and homed, helped sis w her science (I knw i knw, I couldnt understand anything actually, hahahhaahahhahaha!)
Dinnered at Singapore Zam Zam again at Arab streeeeeeeeeet.
Mum talked about th bazar which reminded me that i haven't gone yet, so called up Tina and asked if she wna go, and she cant, so called Eve, she was w Annie and Joelle. Cabbed dnw t Clark Quay at ard 10pm? Yeh.

Talked and smoked, yep. Caught up all.
Homed at 12.30AM? Hah, promised mum not t drink, so yeh, besides, didnt have any monehh.
I am booked flat! Tmr gng town t shop w Clar and Zara. Lolll.
Tues till Thurs chalet-ing, cant wait t see everyone again!
Friday, gng t th bazar, last day. {:
Saturday got t visit some people, invited for hari rayyyyyyya! Loll!
Whooo, so fun!

Ohk, i am so beat luh, I miss FOURoners many many! omg omg.
I feel so free after N's, like, happy and high idk? I sound like some patient from Woodbridge, anyway, cant wait for tuesday srsly.
Oh, there's sch, next week! aw man! I am not gng, Mrs Sng will have to knock on my door to pull me out of bed, and i am still not gng. No mood to, i wanna club club club, anyone?
Kevin wnna bring me t La'selle and NAFA t look ard? Lollllllll!
Ohk, gnna sleep early, got t meet th others ltr! Ciao.
(0055AM)

2007-10-07T01:29:00.000+08:00

So, had Lws video recording exam trail run tday, HAHA, super funny.
Kept distracting th others. Oh, and t all those who helped me face that fear, thanks.
Renfeng helped us buy cigs tday, failed. So Eugene and i asked a total stranger t help us buy, passed. Lolll, tday is so much fun. Went t th hospital too, met cousins and families all, escalatored up and dwn like a million times w cousin and grandma's maid, treated th maid t a can of pepsi, and she kept insisting t pay me back? Loll! But i kept turning her dwn.

(Maid t my little cousin) ''Aye, Hans, ltr you better dnt tell your mummy daddy about th drink ah....''
Hans '' Huh, no luh, i wnt want luh''
Maid '' Ohk, if you dnt tell, i buy smth for you ohk? Good boy.''
Hans '' HUH! what thing? aiya, i dnt want luh, i wnt tell luh.''
This went on for 10 minutes.

Anyway, saw loads of KCians tday, hah.
Have been pretty tired nowadays, sheesh.
-

I wanted to be all i could be to save you
I wanted to be all i could be to help you
But you just couldnt see, no you did not see.

Now i nvr thought i doubt you.
You knw i miss you
But wouldnt it be better if i go
Isnt that what you want, idk.

Its so hard to lie and to care at th same time
Maybe if i turn back now, all im doing to myself is a lie?
Its so hard to walk away, cos i knw i miss you so badly
It hurts me to stay.
Im sorry.

You just might get me lost
And, you just might leave me torn
But you just might save my soul.
You knw i ll miss you,
I ll miss us too.
(01:40AM)

2007-10-04T23:17:00.001+08:00

Last paper tmr, whooots.
Like finally.
Ohk, im booked flat from now till thurs.
Plaza singapura ing w Eve and Charmainey tmr after lite paper.
Getting candles for th chalet and some other stuff.
Speaking of th chalet,

Tuesday night : Movie marathon
Wednesday night : Midnight walk
For more details, please call or text; Eve, Charmainey, Joe or me, xoxo
Oh, and i dnt think i wna go t China w dad anymore, its like, 1 whole week.
Im so not gnna miss out on clubbing /:
Hah, ohk, cant wait for th chalet, its gnna be fun fun fun!
PS. please bring some DVDs peeps. Yep
And erm, extra clothes and monehhhh.

Ohk, last paper tmr, still cant believe it, its finally O.V.E.R.
Everyone's gnna hit th clubs (Not books) {:
-
Times square wouldnt shine as bright as you.

2007-10-03T00:14:00.000+08:00

Now look at me, instead of moving on i refuse t see,
No matter how i try it, cant deny it, you dont even knw.
That i still need you, i still care about you
Though everything's been said and done.
I still feel you, like im right beside you,
But still no, word from you.

Ohk, art and Math paper 2 tmr, whoohoo, after that its goodbye books.
Well, maybe still gnna brush up on Ordinary Magic? Lollll.
Hmmm, Evelyn's chalet s round th corner, tuesday till thursday, and after that, partying 24-7 {:
Hah, gnna hit th clubs people, anyone want in?
Smoking sheesha too, interested please text me or smth. Hah, cant wait.

Anyway, charmaine called and complained about art, hahah, funny.
Went all th way t popular t buy art materials for tmr? Hah.
Mum told me if i wanna go t china for a week? So sudden luh, w my dad, on a business trip.
Hmmm, dnt knw.
Shiat, there's Lwssom test this saturday too, drats.
Alrighty, im turning in now.
Adios {:
(0019AM)

2007-10-01T23:56:00.000+08:00

Hi, haven't rly been updating like i used t daily.
Have been mugging alot, real hard, esp for art. Mmmmhmm.
Ohk, gna scan thru th last few days real quick.

Besides doing art, art and more art nothing really happened.
Yup, oh, went t woodlands on sunday, there was this little boy's birthday, I guess he's P4 or smth? Yeh, parents close friends grandchild's birthday, so got t go. He is called Kenneth. {:
Th family is super meggggggga rich. FOUR STORY HOUSE, hmm. So there was obviously loads of little kids ard, and i was like one of th eldest there? Lollll. Anyway, had t chiong for N's art, so i brought my undone sketches there, before i knew it, there was a large crowd ard me? Hah, funny i swear. This little boy call justin or smth loved my drawings so much he asked me t draw him smth, HAHAHAHAHAH. Then his father, brother, mother all come talk t me!? Lollllllll. Pressure. Played pool there, w all th little little adorable kiddos. Hah.
Homed, and did more art. /:

Paper tday was alright i guess, skipped 4 Qs.
Tmr's bio and chemo.
I am so tired. Yeh, like everyday do art and mug, omg its killing me.
Torture i tell you, pure murder.
And hardly anyone comes online, those who are are either busy or away.
Ohk ohk, afew more days t go, c'mon c'mon.
-
Hmmm, so caught up in th exams almost totally forgot about Evelyn's chalet right after N's! Hahah, cant wait (:
Thats all for now i guess, gnna sleep early now, toddles.
Waking up at 7am t mug. Ciao {:

2007-09-29T21:44:00.001+08:00

J,
It's funny when you find yourself looking from the outside.
I'm standing here but all I want is to be over there.
Why did I let myself believe miracles could happen.
'Cause now I have to pretend that I don't really care.

I thought you were my fairytale, a dream when I'm not sleeping.
A wish upon a star that's coming true.
But everybody else could tell, that I confused my feelings with the truth.
When there was me and you.

I swore I knew the melody that I heard you singing.
And when you smiled you made me feel like I could sing along.
But then you went and changed the words.
Now my heart is empty.
I'm only left with used-to-be's and once upon a song.

Now I know you're not a fairytale and dreams were meant for sleeping.
And wishes on a star just don't come true.
cause now even I can tell that I confused my feelings with the truth.
Because I liked the view, when there was me and you.

I can't believe that I could be so blind.
It's like you were floating while I was falling and I didn't mind.
Because I liked the view, oohhh, oohhh.
I thought you felt it too.
When there was me and you.
-
Cause now i knw that i confused my feelings w th truth,
when there was me and you.
):
I knw, you got to go your own way.

2007-09-28T19:39:00.000+08:00

Here's th thing,
I hate this, and i hate you.
Yes, many many.
So just leave me out of this shit, and all these fucked up madness.
You're putting words in my mouth bitch. Yes you are.
I used t think you're ohk. Hate is a strong word, but i rly rly rly dnt like you.
Whatever i do, th blame just comes t me?
Like, fuck what did i say? You can believe her friend.
You're dragging me deeper in t all these fucked up madness here.
I dnt want t help you anymore, so just go find someone else t turn t when you need my help.
I wish i can just delete you from th face of th earth.

Anyway, peni-ed w Neckfats tday, lolll. Went t loads of cammy shops.
Esp shoe shops? Hah.
Cabbed t schl, send her off and 16ed home alone.
Wanted t go run or smth, cos tday's damn windy and cooling? Loll.
Waiting for baby sister t come home first.
Got t chiong art manz, like srsly. /:
Hmmmm, i feel like im starting t hate alot of people now?
Friends are super f'ed up. (Just merely talking about some)

Yeh, whateverrrrr, hmph.
Th distance between Stalker and i are growing again?
Maybe cos of N's i guess.
Involved in this problem where i got t take th blame now,
Im tired of helping friends, im always th one labelled,
Nosey parker. ):

Talked t V th day before ytd, she told me loads of stuff
I guess what she said is correct, if i had one wish, i'd wish i wouldnt knw you J.
I wish i wouldnt have loved you.
Idk, so many things in my mind again. Shucks, cant wait for N's t end.
Ohkkkkkkk, Tina, if you're reading this.
Please talk t me online? I need a listening ear, pronto ))))):
Lastly, HAPPPPPPPPPY BIRTHHHHHDAY JULES (:

2007-09-27T22:15:00.000+08:00

Hmmm, so went mugging tgt w neckfats tday @ popeyes.
Parkwayed after that, and libraried. Yep, not productive at all luh. Lollll
Met Jo talked and walked all th way home.
Yes, all th way. Had 20cents left w/o bus card, so yeh.
Took 30 mins. Hah.
Bought neckfats tea and she kept camwhoring luh, funny i swear.
Anyway, tday was not productive at all. /:
,
Feel like im always misunderstood luh, like urgh idk?
What more can i say, if you think im trying t backstab you,
then, by all means go think like that.
I had my reasons for dng that, and its ohk if you think im selfish, cos i wasnt.
Yeh, i tried t patch things up between you both, and i cant choose between friends you see.
Yes, im sry for helping and being a nosey parker.
Please dnt misunderstand, i really am sorry.
I rly had my reasons. But if you feel that im th one t blame and im th one being selfish,
then, you can put th blame on me.
Cos i knw that nth i say will make you understand now.
I apologised, im sry.
-

Im trying so hard t forget, but sometimes, i just cant forget you.
I cant.

2007-09-26T23:29:00.000+08:00

Went out mugging my ass off w Mel, Tina and Fiona.
Yep, it was good. Productive. Caught up cos we're having study leave now.
Miss them crazy. Yes im glad it was productive, everyone beniffited, but im not too sure for Fiona, Lollll, she keep talking on th phone? anyways, walked ard, talked and walked home w buddy.

Gng airportting w Neckfats tmr, miss her too. Hah,
We're so gnna chiong our studies uh.
Yep popeyes again, clucks.
Caught up w Eve and Sheryl last night, talked t Sheryl till 2 plus plus? Yep, hilarious shit.
Thanks for being there Sher, and letting me yell at you.
You're the bestzxzxz.

And Evelyn, i bet you're reading this, CHEEEEEER UP PLEASE.
Rly, we ll talk soon alright? Mug hard kiddddddo (s)
-

Just talked t Jo, everything was alright till we talked about some holy shit.
I hate this, i hate this alot.
I hate th past it turned me like this, yes it seems like im anti christian now,
but hey, im also one ohk. Tho it seems like im not but yeh i am. You dnt knw what happened t me before luh, no one knws. Seems like th past is finally catching up t me? Urgh.
Im not anti God or anything ohk?
I used t be like that too, not as holy like walking bible, but
I too, was also involved in church man. I was one of th youth grp leaders person.
F luh, you wnt understand anyway.

Everyone knws me in church, thats how involved i am in it.
Well thats th past tho. F luh, how t explain?
I hate this i do i really hate this, i loathe this feeling,
I miss gng back t church too Jo.
I miss my friends there, but i just hate it cos of some other church.
It unfair, my past. Nooone knws, no. Noone.
I hate that particular church (Not mentioning names)
It turn me like this, it cause me t be like that.
I f hate this, alot.
Im sorry Jo, for yelling online, but i cant stand it.
Everytime someone tells me some holy shit, i ll just be, angry.

Im angry cos i ran away from church,
im angry cos some other christians did this t me,
im angry cos i dnt knw who God is anymore, i dnt have anymore faith.
No.
Im angry cos i cant believe, no. no more trust, i've been hurt.
Its not my fault, that 'f church' did this t me, it took away my faith.
I doubt i ll ever go back. No, all i can is, im sorry.
You dnt need t apologise Jo, i do.
Im sorry, cos you dnt understand me.
I dnt hate God, i just hate my past.

2007-09-25T16:30:00.000+08:00

Monday
Went t schl, did not study a weeee bit!
Had a 2.4 metre run while playing hide and seek w Sng. Lolll
Went t hide at the library.
But, got caught in th end, she took a pictr of me luh! W her phone?
Super freaky cos she got Venus pictr in there too? Hahaha.
'Heng' im not gng t schl anymore. Hah.

J, please cheer up. (I knw you can do it! Yes you can)
& Stalker, if you're reading this, im sorry. Tell M that too. /:

Tuesday
Slept for th entire day?
Watched a little Tv tho, didnt do anything. Feel like im wasting my life away.
Supposed t be meeting up w the others @ ECP macs. But dnt feel like gng out tday?
Yep, so texted tina that im not gng, sorry. Cause i got a feeling that i ll not study there anyways,
i rather stay at home, sit myself down and tell myself t study? Better this way, rather in macs, so much noise pollution and distractions. Hahaha.
i ll be like, ''eh, tina want t eat smth?'' Then comfirm will keep eating and talking lolll.
Haha, sry yo.

So im like gnna start studying, Yes yes yes! study.
Ohk, ltr. But will study. Yes ltr. yep yep.
Will study, must study (See im trying t brainwash myself in t studying)
Study study study.
Ohk! Tv time! }Aiya, i promise i ll study ltr!{{
Cant studyyyy ): Omg, shiats.
Keep thinking of the bazar, like so many things t buy all.
Tsk, (slaps forehead) Stop thinking and study.
Mug mug mug muggggggg muggging mugster im a mugster.
Hmmmmm, ohk, im ending it here, nth t write about anyways.

Toodleszxzxz.

2007-09-23T18:46:00.000+08:00

(Sunday Evening)
Ohk, things are offically better between mum and i? Like talking more, but still not talking t baby sister? Suddenly feel like she changed or smth? ):
Anyways, things between friends and i are cool now too. Getting more confidence in my studies as well. Haha, LWSSOM theory's coming, shiaaaaat.

Just remembered, i talked t joey also, loll. She also asked me t stop smoking yo. Planned t give Kevin my Virrceroys, but i forgotten t. Oh wells. He told me t smoked them then stop. Should i? My last 10? Hahaha. Tossed and turned last night, couldnt sleep. Kept thinking of Mary Shaw from dead slience, super scary i swear omg. Had t explain the story t Kevin tday, took like 30 mins, cos he didnt understand? fffffffffptptt. Went t Grandma's for awhile. And i srsly need $400. Shiaaaaat. I only got, like hmmmm ard $150 now. Dnt want t use bank moneeehh too. Any sponsors? }Lollll{

So study leave started, Joey told me ytd that i can call her t teach me math or smth? But shes having her O's now, dnt wanna bother her. Besides, nth actually goes in t my head. Can tell that everyone's mugging thier lives away for N's. Esp stalker, she doesnt talk t me anymore. /:
Hmmm, there's
Science (Chem and Bio)
Lite
Math
Art.
C'mon, chiong chiong.

Studying in schl tmr, hope there wnt be any distractions. (Which i doubt there wnt be)
Talked t Jo alrdy,

Its written all over your face
Its such a painful thing t waste
Tell me now, where d we go?
Now the future's not so clear,
cant believe we've ended here.
Where's the world that doesnt care?
Maybe i could meet you there.

Its over now and i cant save you
Some things are better left unsaid
And all the promises i made were so stupid,
maybe we ll be able still be friends.
If thats possible.
Two days gone, im alright.
But i cant sleept at night

Why wont you, find me and show me
what d you want from me
there's gotta be better than this
I dnt wanna leave you,
but maybe i need t
so tell me, is there smth better than this?

Dnt think i wanna knw you
Im tired of running after you
I wnt send you sorry cards, cos i dnt need t
Im giving up and i ll nvr reminsce
i've found a way of getting over this
i ll let go in everyway,
cos i dnt need you.

i got t let go,
before i go crazy
i ll let go in everyway
cos anyway, i knw that you ll hate me.

2007-09-23T00:35:00.000+08:00

(Saturday night.)
Slept the whole day,
chatted online, everything was alright till Litong told me there was vocal test tday?
Like, what the ffffff? lollll. I lost the scores, so i started panicking.
Left the house late, so i cabbed down.
Met Tricia, Eugene and Yixiang there, everyone didnt memorise the lyrics?
Hahaha, we were planning on who t sabo t sing first and all, super funny.
Xiao Ran came and she laughed w us, went for lessons,
told Aaron that the last person who comes shall be the first person t sing? lolll
(Its really scary cos its video recording)

Zara came in and everyone started clapping and congratulating her that shes not the last t come? Next was Litong; and iris was the last, cos Xiao xuan and Renfeng absent themselves, hahaha. Everyone was super high and idk why? During that lesson, i was happy, dnt knw why too, just happy, maybe its cos those friends i have dnt knw my probs and stuff, and w them, seeing them laugh and crack up their nonsensical jokes makes me laugh too. I love AUV18. {:
Yixiang shared cigs w me, havent smoked any though.
Gave me 10? Virceroy menthol. /:

7-11ed w Eugene and Yixiang, SAW MTV VJ UTT! WHOOOHOO, I WAS LIKE, '' EH UTTTTT'', HAHAHA. HE DNT LOOK THAT GOOD LOOKING IN PERSON THOUGH? LOLLL, BUT HE GOT THAT CHARMING LOOK. Talked about smoking.
Eugene quit alrdy? Like for 1 week so far. He said these,

''I knw its difficult, and remember when you asked if i've ever regretted smoking, and i said i didnt, well i do now. Its just smth i did for the last 1 and a half years, when i started, i smoked 7 whole packs in 5 days. Thats alot. Can you just imagine what a heavy smoker i was? I get so bloody irritated w little things and i get so vexed up, remember the time we went t vietnam tgt? i wasnt in a good mood throughout the entire trip cos i need t smoke badly. I didnt realized it, but i was hooked on t smoking alrdy. You wont notice it all till you look back and think hard. What your friends say is true, im really worried for you. I want you t not only promise your friends, but also t me that you ll cut down and eventually quit. Please do that. I mean, whats the point of smoking anyway? Its harming you. When i wanted t quit, i fell sick i had flu and everything, it was horrible. But after afew days it was alright again. Perhaps those were the side effects. Idk, but c'mon, you're smoking 10 sticks a day now, im really worried for you. I regretted teaching you, srsly.

Look, just look at me, i've been smoking for 1 and a half years now, totally hardcore. If i can quit you can too (hits softly on my shoulder) You can, you must. My friend's mum told my friend and i, ''People are trying so hard t quit smoking, and you both are here, trying so hard t smoke, i dnt get you, rly'' what my friend's mum said really made myself think. You should too. I knw you have troubles, just dnt harm yourself. Is it worth it? Im doing these for my girlfriend, and for myself. Its ture, you're also harming those ard you. I've not smoked for a week now, sure can tahan one. You got t. Eat sweets or smth, i dnt want you t get cancer, rly. Hahaha. Promise me, promise your friends, and yourself. You can do it''

Yep, that was what Eugene said t me, omg super deep. Thanks though, love you alot luh. fffffff, you're always looking out for me. Thank you, you're the bestzxzxz. I ll try t ohk? i swear i will. Oh, and thank you for hearing me out too, all my problems and what not, so depressing, but yeh. Just, thank you. Dinnered w his family and mine, mum slowly talked t me! YAY. Dinner was good, went t arab street, Singapore Zam Zam. Felt like i was in malaysia or smth? Lolll. Went t Eugene's house t watched Dead silence, omg super freaky, hahah, kept covering w the pillow and running in t nigel's room. Baby sister and P6 sister + Nigel kept laughing at Eugene and i, cos whenever the scary part was coming, we ll run in. HAHAHAHAHA. I just cant take creepy movies luh ):
The adults took it like nothing happened? aiyah, dnt care. /:

Hmmm, kinda talked t baby sister, cos Eugene and i were acting out the story and all? Lolll, felt happy, things are finally getting better. {: x 1000000000000000000000000.
Thats good right? Hah, i guess im thinking of giving those sticks Yixiang gave me t Kevin tmr? Should i? Hmmmm. Oh, got t bring electric guitar for lessons tmr, heavy bodoh. ):
I really hope things will be better, really really really.
Midnight Mugging @ ecp Macs comfirmed.
Tuesday, from 4pm t anytime.
Please comfirm details w Tina thank you.
-
Hate is a strong word, but i really really really dnt like you.
E told me shes using me. Wait everyone's telling me that, troubles troubles.
Idk anymore, cant bother.
Toodlezxzxzx.
}Amillionfulfillingpromises{

Where's the world that doesnt care
Maybe i should meet you there

2007-09-21T22:55:00.000+08:00

Thursday.
Having so many problems at home, i just cant go.
Facing it all is just another blow.
Theres so many things i just cant say;
so i'll yell it out blogging it all tday.

Ohk, so i've been in the dumps for like the last few days, really really stressed out, no one was there for me, i knw friends cared but some misunderstood. I lost myself. I loose trust. I lost a friend, and a sister, a mother and everything seemed like it was all gng down. Im gnna explain everything tday. So fucked up alrdy. /:

So thursday, hmmm. Surprisingly hot.
FOURone was like a microwave oven. C told me some stuff, which i really hoped wasnt true. Anyways, Jean couldnt go out, so went home and met up w Yanchee @ Mp library t study. Mugged like hell till i really needa clear things up. Got upset and all, called Stalker. Yanchee bought cigs for me? Cooooolio. Walked t parkway, smoked then met Von, then smoked again. LIKE TALKED ALOT, REALLLLLY ALOT. Everyone's depressed. Meeting her for breakfast tmr i think, Macs-ing. (: (She got some black roses t show me)
Went t this playgrd near Yanchee's place, smoked again. Idk why but i just got t smoke. Sry ):
10 Sticks.

Friday.
People who came t schl,
Angel
Clarissa
Amanda
Chitra
Evelyn
Jean
Yuki
Elyssa
Alicia
Hinna
Sofia
Sondra
Khai
Sotong
Fiona
Tasneem
Zara
Shimin
19 People only, including me that is, loll.

It was the slcakkkkkkkiest day of my life. Breakdown during SS. Went crazy, but im alright now. }}SHOULD HAVE SEEN EVERYONE IN CLASS, CONSOLING ME LIKE AS IF SOMEONE I LOVED PASSED AWAY{{{ lolll. Couldnt talk t anyone, but after 5periods of art i felt better (?) Hah. Like so many things happened tday. Just dnt knw where t start. /:
Lunched w Sotong and Evelyn tday in schl. Walked t library, cecil gave me 2 marl red. Talked alot t Eve, she told me that a group of friends are worried for me, that i've changed. Im smoking more, increasing and all. I just - cried. I cant control my emotions. There's so much stuck in my mind alrdy, and t my friends, yes i knw and i've realized i've changed. Im sorry, I ll talk t you guys like, one by one. Honest talks w Eve, lots of things.

Im beginning t ask myself loads of Qs. Sat there and talked for like hours. Well seems like it. Talked while weeping, i hope those friends understand me. Im truely sorry, yes i admit, i've changed. Im sorry for loosing my cool and venting it on you guys. I have my reasons. Thank you for not giving up on me though, i love love love you all, so so much. Really, idk what i'd do w/o you all. I swear, if thats the last thing i ll do, im gnna talk t you all, yes. I must, i have t say all i wanna say. At least Eve understands now uh. (:
Just smoked ONE stick, the other was drawn by Evelyn, super sweet.
Went t Ubi and played Bball w Adeline, Miko, Yoko, Evelyn, Huishan all. Cheered me up like alot. {:
Played candles too, burnt my fingers like countless times ):
Cabbed home @ 1015.
Thanks for the $2.50, Eve.

Ohhhh, there's this song we composed during recess, made me laugh
Damn funny i swear. About Fiona. (Mr Ang seh, inside joke)
Oh, just a reminder t FOURoners,
Midnight Mugging @Macs is still on.
Please contact Tina, dnt ask me, lollll.
-

I ll remember those friends,
who shared those times of sorrow i had
who felt the pain and didn't neglect
who made me smile though im down
who forced that frown upside down
who made me see who's in me
who help me through when im on my knees
who scolded me for my sake
who woke me up from all these shame
who made me cry and understand
who wipe those tears and show they cared
who always thought a thought for me
who always believed, had faith and see

who felt upset when i've changed
who actually stood by when im angered and insane
I wanna thank you all now cause i now knw
what true friends i got, nvr will i throw
I wanna thank you for hearing me out
for the times i screamed yelled and shout
tina buddy you ll always be the bestest friend you can be
evelyn teo i want you t knw our friendship will last, nvr rusted old
joelle my dear im sorry yes i am, i vented my anger, i didnt understand
aishah gay you're the best, you scored full marks in this friendship test.
Angel tan thank you for tday, i love you friend, everyday
jean and clar, always by my side, hearing me out whenever i cry.
Thank you for everything no words can express, i guess im not feeling anymore stressed
{:

AMANDA'S CONVO, LOVE YOU BIMBO BABE!
ABC! says:
BABE!
Keon. }}}Thankyou Everyone, Rly, idk what i'd do w/o you guys{{{ says:
[;
ABC! says:
(:
ABC! says:
I LOVE YOU!
ABC! says:
okay random
ABC! says:
hahahahahaha
Keon. }}}Thankyou Everyone, Rly, idk what i'd do w/o you guys{{{ says:
Hahaha, love you too babe.
ABC! says:
takecare k? (:
ABC! says:
anything, you got me!
ABC! says:
but its okay lah, you wont find me!
ABC! says:
hahahaha
Keon. }}}Thankyou Everyone, Rly, idk what i'd do w/o you guys{{{ says:
I will ohk! thank you, really means alot.
Keon. }}}Thankyou Everyone, Rly, idk what i'd do w/o you guys{{{ says:
(:
Keon. }}}Thankyou Everyone, Rly, idk what i'd do w/o you guys{{{ says:
(: x100
ABC! says:
XOXO

Omg, i really love you guys luh, alot alot. thank you, rly.
As for my family thingy, im trying t take things slowly,
Mugging rly hard for N's now, + Lws exams.
I can do it, yes yes i can.
once again, thank you all, LOVES.

2007-09-19T20:16:00.000+08:00

Hello post #117.
Tday was super fun, god.
Lotsa peeps didnt turn up for schl, but it was great. -For me that is.
Almost late for schl, met up w jean in the early mornings, overslept. Skipped breakfast.
Met elyssa and Yc @ 7-11 prepared Eleana's birthday surprise.

Schl was kinda slacky tday? Hmmm, PE was hell load of fun, played poison ball, sabo-ed Eleana, seemed like all the teachers knew it was her birthday? loll. Recess was rather peaceful, cos evelyn, joelle, charmaine, miko all didnt come? Ester Ng also absent, 3 whole periods of slacking. Math was alright, Yc, Jean and i talked like there was no tmr. Zf let us talk and all in her lesson, yeps. Signed Eleana's birthday balloon, coolioz. BUTTER QUEENIE. {:

So we talked and talked for the entire day. Sprayed the snow thingy everywhere we go, threw flour all. It was rly fun (: So sad that Tina, Aishah and Charmaine missed out on tday. Some ganged sabo-ed Eleana at the toilet? lollll, hilarious shit. Parkwayed w Jean and Yc, makaned @ MOS burrrrrgerzxzxz. Met vonn, smoked alilttle stayed till 6plus? I swear Yc hooked on t my PSP. (So does jules) /:
Sorry love, smoked tday. Im trying damn hard, realllly.

Overall, tday was fun {:
(There's this massive craze over water babies and artificial snow tday)
Venus was polluting the class w them.
Oh, and Amanda's and Clarissa's area rocks. Esp the balcony part.
Fun fun fun, i swear. Poured coke w mentos on Eleana, Jean and Yc all ran away and i stupid stupid standing there, so keanna. I was all coke-y and sticky? Saw jonathan, my cigs supplier. Lolll. Yes, tday was absolute fun, 100% play. [:

After parkwaying, 16ed home. Skipping dinner tnight again i guess.
Stalker's gng t aussie for summer schl ):
Jo's gng for camp, this suck. Really.
Last few days till goodbye.
T Stalker & Jo, doughnuts soon, promise.
CHEER UP,
1) Jean
2) Yanchhhhee
3) Angel
4) Stalker
5) Felicia (?)
,

I knw its not enough t say im wrong,
Just knw that i will miss you now, you're gone.
I knw its not enough t say its true
Just knw that in my heart, it beats for you.
So leave a little note for me behind
I swear i have t knw the reasons why,
this wont survive.
And now its not the same w you away
Just holding on t hopes t save my days,
i wnt survive, so just stay w me tnight.

And if you fall back in t my life
I'd spend every night waking up t the beat i hear inside
Telling me t be your only one.
If you fall back in t my life,
I promise you, i will nvr let another day just pass us by,
i could nvr leave this war undone,
i wanna be your only one.

2007-09-18T20:21:00.000+08:00

Mixed feelings, idk why
whenever i go home i just feel, angry.
I feel lost
I feel alone.
Im always labelled the villan.
I dnt belong, i hate this. I want t run away,
I hate this home.
It wasnt like this, no.
Everything's back t square one, im like, no longer close t baby sister anymore.
Ever since she scolded me that morning,
Im not angry, just hurt. Very hurt.

We dnt talk, we dnt even smile.
No one's here t console me, nobody, i hate gng home cos
I hate being alone, i knw there ll be fights.
Theres so much i cant say, i just feel like crying.
I wish i cry till i go blind, so i cant see, cant feel
Cant nothing.
We used t laughed at stupid things,
gossip about teachers etc while having dinner.

Now, im alone. always hiding in my room, your words left a scar
I dnt even dare t face you now, you're like a faded memory.
Yes yes im always wrong, yes always.
You're like, the best sister. The closest t me at home, now,
Im alone, i hate this.
I hate the fact that noone even cares about me anymore. I miss my sister, and my mum
I wish we'd talk, words just cant come out.
These scars and these puffs will nvr make up for the pain i feel inside now.
I wish this pain will go away, its making me crazy.
Its making me get angry over little things and idk why,
Its wrecking me.
ITS TEARING ME A P AR T.
(Tina, thanks for being there at that moment, my maid is killin' me)
-

New craze over water babies in class, that cheapo thing.
Fiona and charmaine's like totally nuts over them? + Jules!
Eleana's big day tmr, FOURone, please stay t watch!
Pouring flour, eggs, steamers over her or smth? lolll, HAPPPPPY HAPPY 17th BIRTHDAY YO!
Zhangfang's like back? Missed her so! Thank god fruitcake's gone (:
Hmmmmm, chionging art. Agnus tan didnt let tina and i go t the vietnam trip thing? She's super bias, omg omg detest her loads.
Airpottted w charmaine and julia, it's been super long since we've gone out tgt?
}Aye aye, sheesha after N's remember!{
Caught up, ate popeyes, yes satisfied and full now (Skipping dinner i guess)
Skytrained t T2, talked more at the viewing hall, saw huiyi working there, hah she still remember me lolll (: 36ed back t schl w em', and 16ed home.
Home @ 730. {:
(Eh, its the last week of schlio, Hehhhhhzxzxz)
Midnight Mugging @ Macs, for FOURoners.
Interested? call tina for like, more details please. {:

Aishahhhh, dearest gay friend. Thank you so much for not giving me those sticks. If you did, i would have smoked a pack ful by now; (though i kept swearing and all those shit, you didnt give me any) so really. From the bottom of my broken heart, thank you friend. You saved me. (:
Also t jean and tina, you're like 24-7 on my tail, bugging me t stop, i ll try t alright?
Jules + charm' thanks for giving me my wake up call, idk what's happening t me now too, sorry guys. I ll try, cos im also harming my friends ard me, this i knw /:
STALKERZXZ, aye, ohk, you did ask me t stop, lolll. Thanks yo, please cheer up.
Omg, thank you guys, so so much!

But, the biggest thanks i ll probably wanna give t is,
Jolyn.
Love, im so sorry. For hurting you, and for the times when i upsetted you deeply. I knew you cared, but im just going tru so much where, i just need puffs. I cant promise anything, but i assure you, i ll cut down alright? I've not smoked tday, is that a big improvement? I hope it is. Im doing it for you, i love for you t smile. I want you t knw, im sincere when i say i love you, that i ll do anything for you. Im trying t, really trying. Not just saying, but proving. Im sorry when you felt a sense of disappointment in me, and when i did not heed what ever you said. Im glad you kept me gng, you didnt give up on me? Thank you. Really, and also, for the times when i just blow up in anger and you had t understand me. I run on emotions, im sorrry, for like everything i did, and every ounce of pain i brought on t you. Thank you dearest, for being so understanding. (Just give me some time t cut down)
Thank you lovedfaced. {:

Suddenly miss 1) Stalker, haven't talked in ages, where'd you go?
I miss you so /:
2) Kaven too, clubbing soon bro {:
Eh, 3) Annie? heyzo, called me tday? sounded frigging sad. Sorry cant hear you out bro, cheer up tho. lolllll.
Morning breakfast w Jean tmr, at 0615am? Lolll, then gnna meet the others t plan for Eleana's big day? Hah, shit i swear its gnna be so retarded. Yes tmr's gnna be a better day, Yes it will! yepzzzies. (:

2007-09-17T17:26:00.000+08:00

It's growing old to see us torn by every choice that I have made
In every instant you were right to write me off and move ahead
And I think I let you down,
I throw it all away
I never meant to break it up
or make you feel this way

It's getting colder through these walls that seem to thin to break us now
A perfect ending still in line though it seems our time is running out
Trace the call from you, we'll make this go away
I never felt this day would come,
I'll never be the same

Through open eyes I sense a feeling painted black that lines your heart
It's bleeding through just like the colours that I've seen right from the start
And if I had the choice to do this all again
Would you be inclined to notice it or would just PRETEND?

Can we make this last forever?
With every word you're growing distant
And I feel as though I have to let you go
Can we make this time together
Seem as though we never started
And it's hard to be the only one to know
-

Thinking of the words to say,
I'd like to think that this was fate.
Reference to a song you love,
Spell confusion with a 'k'.
Like a star without its strings,
I'm hanging here on these two wings.
For that smile and those eyes,
I'm falling

If you ever had the chance,
Would you make your life seem right?
Or would you only hold it back,
The good times, the hard, and the bad.
Whatever you say is alright,
Just as long as there's no doubt.
Could you look me in the eyes?
And say hope died

If time could stop, how could I make this more poetic?
When there's nothing more pathetic to be said...
You bring me out, show me light,I'm sorry if I hide,
I'm too afraid to look inside.
You carry through, you make me smile.
If it were you and me tonight,
I would tame the stars and save the brightest one for you,
For you. /:

,
What now?
You knw i want you back, you knw i do.
I dnt blame you, i really dnt. Believe me.
Im sorry for all the pain i caused, i just wanted t love you.
As simple as that.
Everything's spinning round. You dnt knw how much tears i've cried too.
A tank full.
I cant explain what im feeling now, i just feel, numb.

If i hate you, i wouldnt still be here, keeping my promise t you.
I knw it'll make you happy. So im sticking t 2 sticks tday.
(Smoked one, thats even better)
If i hate you, i wouldnt have cried so much, and slit those slits.
I'd bleed for you.
If i hate you, i wouldnt be thinking, thinking everything's contridicting.
If i hate you, I wouldnt be hoping you'll come back.
If i hate you, I wouldnt be blogging bout' this now.

Irdk what t do, i still care, alot alot alot. /:
Im trying NOT t show i care, (But i do)
cos it'll make you feel worse,
and i'll feel worse too.
Will you remain crook?
Shucks heartaches.
I dnt like things like that too.
All i wanted was t love you.
I still do.
(:

2007-09-16T17:54:00.000+08:00

Hi, almost died ytd, i swear.
Went t smoke w eugene after lws,
(He got caught luh, wtf? cos he helped me buy cigs, then yeh, lolll, i feel super guilty.)
Anyway, smoked, like 4 sticks only? then cabbed home.
Started feeling sick in the taxi /:
Like, everything was spinning all, and you just feel like throwing up.
Reached home, and forced t vomit, cos nth came out? except some white stuff? gross shit.
I think, its cos i didnt eat anything else except breakfast? hah.

Then, i just fell t the floor, everything was spinning, my head hurt so much. Yeh. hahah, kinda funny. crawled t the bed and rest rest rest. So afraid of shutting my eyes manz.
Im alright now, still no appetite what so ever tho. Eugene called and say that we smoked fake cigs so it wasnt tested and all, hahah. Had an instant recovery ltr on, by someone, loll. (:
-

N's round the corner,
Lws final examination, theory + vocal in 2 weeks time,
Oh joy.
Better start mugging hard, esp for theory. /:
Kevin's helping me w theory, thank you thank you (:

Things are happening too fast, i just cant take it all in.
Sometimes you feel like you regretted some things in life.
But its over, whats done is done, theres nth i can undo. Its not like photoshop, when you can just brush up your flaws, no. I cant change me. Im sorry for all the wrong things that i've done. You can put the blame on me. Aw shucks, so many things, in my head now. Idk how. Tsk, in my tears i'll drown ): Watch me drown.
,

You always seem t be there, when i needed a listening ear
Maybe thats why i love you, i love you my dear
Its difficult for you t make that choice, yes i understand.
Somehow i wish you were here, i'll hold you close, take my hand
I'd wish you laugh, i wish you'd smile
just t see you, i'll walk that mile.
I love you dearest,
And always will.
Cos you're the bestest
My heart you've steal,
You make me laugh all day long,
idk why i'd smile, hearing a love song.
I've tried t say all i could,
how i wish you only understood.
I love you, and thats just it
No one can ever replace you, nvr did.
Yes i meant everything i say
You're my first thought in the morning,
and the last at the end of my day.
(:

2007-09-11T20:53:00.000+08:00

New substitute teacher yo, hah, shes effing hilarious. Took video and pictrs. Will upload tmr, if eleana sends me, HAHAHHAHA. Pranking her again tmr, so fun omg omgzxzx. Using floooour. lollll, shes so retarded.
Bio was hell again, mrs lim sat in for Leong. Bab's butt blocked her, so i slept, damn sleepy. the rain was so shuang! hah.
Surprisingly, lion didnt rawrrr, hah. Scored 44 for art prelims luh. ):
Did some math papers during assembly tday. Lee talked some sense into me, i think he's right, omg omg, im like gonna retain. DIE.

Gave alicia and khai 2 sticks ea, Marl. (:
Makaned w gaystar, tina and annie. (Oh, annie, you look so much so much better please!)
Some old man offered monehhh t gaystar, she freaked out, hahah, funny shiaaat. Walked all the way back t schl, cos i thought i left my wallet in class! stupid, and it was in my bag, tsk.
Evelyn, joelle and sotong joined us. joe and sotong left for the library. Evelyn went home. Annie went t starbuckkkkkksy. Talked w gaystar and tina. yehhh. Smokeeeeddd, kept trading marl and virceroy w gaystar lolllllll. Bussed home.
Left 7sticks only. Urgh.

Ohk, meriel's dwnstairs, dnt knw what shes doing here also. Heard that shes crashing here tnight (?) lollllllll, 2bungs at home now {:
I guess i better start mugging now, getting art paper tmr! OMGGGGGGs. ///:
-

Jo, im sorry,
t let you knw
things would be better, if you didnt i suppose.
im sorry for everything
just knw, you're not a fling.
i love you so very much,
its a huge flame, not just a tiny spark.
Oh fuck, blame cupid,
blame luck.
I guess i've said all i wanted,
jo, you'll nvr be forgotten.
Please smile, yes you do.
smile, like you mean it,
and i'll smile too.
-
After all i do, i'll make myself stop loving you.
The hero dies in this one.
(Anyways, Jean, please cheer up, i hate t see a friend like this.)

2007-09-10T22:23:00.000+08:00

Promised t blog bout' this, so here i am now.
Hahaha, tday was kinda funny.
Met tina, jean and Yc, outside schl tday yo, had hell during bio.
But lite made the day better, Meyer and his stupid stories, haha.
Physco teacher! Tedddddddy bearzxzxz. {:
PASSED LITE PRELIMS, yayness.

OC teacher staged a walk out during lesson, everyone didnt gave a damn.
Continued t sleep, her lesson is like, superrrb borrrrreehhhring. /:
Babe didnt come t schl tday ):
Oh, stupid lil vegetable abused me tday, idiot, hah.
Lunched w eve, joelle, melissa, jean, Yc after schl.
Talked and laughed so much, ohgawwd.
Joe, ran 2.4 (Inside joke)

Smoked, libraryed planned for eve's birthday chalet, sounds exciting eh.
The librarian almost chased us out, for talking too loudly. (SHE LOOKS LIKE KOH LAI FONG'S TWIN, OR SHE WORKS PART TIME THERE? SUPER ALIKE! lollll)
Hmmm, smoked again, send jean home. she intro us some char sao bao. nice {:
16ed back t ecp, then eve needed t shit! So i had t follow her all the way back t the toilet!
Took quite awhile. hahaah. Talked about stuff again, walked t playgrd. smoked, chat.

16ed home, yeh. Thats basically my day tday. {:
Dinnnnnnered.
Artsy fartsy tmr, dooooomsday everyone.
Remember t bring ear plugs!
(2245pm)

Love.f, i want you t be happy.
I'll be if you are.

2007-09-08T22:18:00.000+08:00

Having family bbq now, boring. /:
Also celebrating grandma's birthday.
She's like, 79 luh, damn old, hahha.

Accomplanied xy t munchy doughnuts.
Eugene talked me into buying them. Hmmmm.
Cabbed dwn t somerset, lesson at clubhouse.
Learned a new song, Shou ji by, Chen yi yi. Its super nice,
hear hear! {:
Smoked at singtel, 7-11ed, and cabbed back t 93carpmael, lol.
Everyone start the bbq without us luh, wth.
Slept at 5am last night, cant sleeep, like, lots of stuff on my mind all.
):

Annie texted me t go clubbing, tsk.
Cant go, urgh.
Eugennnnnne's crashing here again, planning t watch dvds,
Humph, tday's so boring.
Ohk, schl's next week ppppppppppffffffft.
Omg, the cake is like, frigggging good {: (Munching on a slice of birthday cake) :D
Little cousins running all over the house, dnt like. tsk.

Wanna go cut hair liaozxzxzxz! K:
Maybe tmr, hehhh.
Alrighty, got t run dwnstairs.
toodles. (2228pm)

2007-09-08T03:40:00.000+08:00

-
Thursday.
Ohk, did nothing actually; cant really remember /:
Yes nothing.

Friday.
Met stalker like, super early in the morning. Abt, 1plus (?)
Sneaked out of the house, hah.
and apparently, everyone knew i sneaked out? hahha.
wtv, anyways, went t east coast.
(Dnt ever go there at night, its like uuuubbbber boring, rly.)
talked, and slowly, fell asleep w eyes open.

head t macs, send stalker home, and cabbed all the way home.
Hmmm, yeh. slept till, 1plus in the afternoon.
Too lazy t go anywhere.
Parkwayed at night,
cousin eugene crashing here for 2 nights {:
Heh.
(0349am)
i'll update again later, nighty.

2007-09-04T22:16:00.000+08:00

So,
there was chinese listening tday, efffing funny.
went t 201 for our paper, the examiner was this old shitty chinese teacher in our schl. she keep turning the volume down luh, then everyone scolded her? It was funny cause, the background music was from the radio all, and she went alil deaf? She told us that it was too loud, and she cant hear anything?

Then, evelyn said, '' Eh, laoshi, also not you doing the paper, and this is Nlvls leh, Nnnnnnnn- levellllls. Not some test hor!, you cannot hear, our problem ah? Its because, you're old. We still young, you better dont anyhow turn turn the volume hor, i fail, i come find you.'' Fucking funny, you should have seen the teacher's reaction.

Accompanied jean t the CC thingy near KC, talked and stuff, then, bussed home. Oh, baby sister got a shock of her life at home, my grandma scare the hoots out of her, her scream was friggging loud please. lolllllll. Meet jean earlier, bussed t schl, studied, A LITTLE, w jean and charmaine, BEFORE, MIKO, JOELLE, YC, EVE ALL CAME T LIKE, INTERUPT THE PEACE. hahhh. jk {:

SS was super sucky. i wrote total crap, im gonna flunk it bad, i swear ):
Kinda sad that tamil tigers didnt come out, all of us placed our bets on that topic luh, chiong-ed for nothing.
Went t katong with tina and jean, bought munchy doughhhhhhnuts, (Fiona, i knw you're damn jealous rightttttttt!)
J left, so, tina and i ate dinner at the pungol nasi lemak there, then, this moronical brown shirt woman, cut our queue luh. She's super hilarious. Damn kanchiong you knw. Hahahaha.

walked home with tina yo,
talked all. {:
-

INFORMAL FORMAT

http://englishplus.com/grammar/00000144.htm

FORMAL FORMAT
http://englishplus.com/grammar/00000150.htm

Go study these, i guess it'll save you.
-

Lovedfaced, sry for like, not being t tell you anything. Sorry, i just cant let you knw, please dnt get the wrong idea. Im not mad or anything, im not upset too. Dont worry about me alright? Im fine, really. [:

(ICANT,RISK;ANOTHERFRIENDSHIP, no, not again.)

2007-09-04T00:48:00.000+08:00

invitation only grants farewell.

studied the incentives, conflicts between sinhalese and tts, protestants and catholics part plus the singapore growing thingy and the regional relationaships part. im gonna fail. talked t lovedfaced, shes always so mean, Eh, im not stupid ohk. Ah lyn's the bombzxzxz. hahh. chinese listening tmr /:
lovedfaced asked me t dig ear (?) lolllllllllll.
{:

alrighty, sleeping soon. i was almost late for chinese paper tday, wth. hahah. Oh, and i finally talked t the new maid tday, hah.

2007-09-03T20:59:00.000+08:00

Chinese paper was simply screwed, i dnt understand a single thing /:
everyone said it was easy, uh. i flunked it. ohwells, studying ss now, murder i tell you. i kinda regretted not listening t egghead in class. f's laughing at TTS online again. Tamiltigers yo. HAH.

16ed home with jean, talked. slept for like, 3 hours plus? efffing tired. im gonna chiong for ss now. shucks, im gonna flunk ss too. ):
I'll update again tmr, mugggggggggging nowzxzxzxz. i guess everyone is.
toodles.

2007-09-02T15:37:00.000+08:00

ytd night was super scary.
lws was more peaceful than usual, maybe cause yixiang didnt come, hah.
after lws, had dinner at killiney's 7-11 with eugene.
talked for 2hrs.
cabbed down t aljunied, then t jean's place. stayed there till 11plus,
and she asked me t sty over, so i decided t go home bathe and all, then return. when i came back, the sister dnt allow me t stay luh, wtf.

jean was bloody pissed. but she cant do anything. so i was like totally homeless. rang up joelle, thank god she haven sleep yet. crashed at her house instead, yeh. talked till abt 4am, munched on soggy fries. it's beeeeen ages since we;ve talked so much; kinda miss her {:
fell alseep cause i was super tired.
woke up, used friendster, then go home.

talked t jo and fiona online, and went out for guitar again.
I BLUFF JOLYN THAT I SLEPT ON THE STREEETS LAST NIGHT, AND SHE BELIEVED. HAHA.
tmr's chinese paper. /:

-
i guess im alright now.
kit, jo, tina, jean and annie, thanks yo. {:

2007-08-31T23:07:00.000+08:00

Hi, how are you doing so far?
i guess you've already moved on, well, i've not and you, you're still stuck in my mind. i tried, i really did - t forget abt you. We're friends still. But it seems as if i no longer knw you.

It hurts, im all alone, noone knws, noone understand and nobody care. I wish you were next t me, i miss you. I wish i could turn back time, if i can, will we return t how things was? I wish. Its different now. There's nothing left t say, from laughter t silence, whats wrong? Even though there's nothing left t say, i still held on, i didnt want t hang up, Im so afraid i'll never get t talk t you again.

Am i wasting my time? i knw you like me, I can feel it, at least smth, little. But you didnt say if you do/did, so what more can i say? (idk) Its over, even if there was feelings all, its fading now. Everything's gone. You're gone, my stalker's gone. I didnt realized how much you mean t me until this came. I miss you, so so much, idk how t explain, all i can prove with is with tears. I cannot stop crying, i swear im real sissy, but i cannot help it. If i had one chance t get you back, as a friend, like last time, i will.

I guess it's too late now, sholud i try? What will happen if i do? I dont want things t become worse. Its bad enough. Xy, i really miss you. You dnt knw how im feeling now, noone does, with you, im different, i guess you saw the real me.
I miss laughing with you.
I miss those nightly calls, and daily msges,
I even miss your stalker boy, and you complaining abt him.
It hurts, alot.

i wish the pain would stop, i dnt want t fake anymore smiles, i forgot how t smile, im numb, idkkkkkkkkkkkkk. Nothing's gonna make it better, you've stop talking t me, no more msges. I dont want t irritate you, i dont dare t text you or call you, im afraid i'll irritate you. and you got t study.

I've told you, things would change, it really did. i regretted telling you. You could have still been my friend, the one who makes me smile stupidly everyday, laughing at stupid jokes and stalkers. Talking about potatoes and cupcakes, and things that dnt even link. I miss those calls, i miss that friend, the one who talks non-stop and the one who's bugging me all the time /:

i fucking miss her. Where did i go wrong? i lost a friend. Everything i do makes me feel more and more distant from you, you're fading. ): i feel as though i have t let you go, do i? remember how we used t be? it hurtttttttttttttttttttts. i cannot forget, sorry. i knw i've hurt you, it hurt me too. im still waiting for you.

(i've yet t bring you t chinatown and get those cupcakes.)

2007-08-13T19:56:00.000+08:00

i dont wish to see you,
so if you're avoiding me, just go ahead.
just afew more months till im out of here,
till i wont ever see you again.
so just go.
and dont look back.
i'll remember those words you say
i'll forget you, so dont worry.
you dont have to feel guilty
go, bye.
-

now thats its all said and done,
i cant believe you were the one.
who build me up and tear me down,
like an old abandoned house.
what you said when you left,
just left me cold and out of breath
i fell too far, was in way too deep
i guess i let you have the best of me.

well i never saw it coming, i should have started running
a long long time ago.
and i never thought i doubt you, im better off without you
more than you, more than you know
im starting to have closure, i guess its really over
i'm finally feeling better,
and im picking up the pieces im spending all of these years
putting my heart together
cause the day i thought i never get through,
i got over you.

you took a hammer to these walls,
dragged the memories down the hall
packed your bags and walked away,
there was nothing i can say
and when you slammed the front door shut
alot of others opened up, so did my eyes so i can see,
that you never were the best for me.

im over you
(:

2007-08-07T17:43:00.000+08:00

you said you wont run away,
but isnt that what you're doing now?
you wanted me to study,
im doing just that. i'll study, for you.
i wanna pass my chinese, i wanna let you see,
that i'll listen to whatever you say.

you said you wont run away,
but with every word we're growing distant.
and i feel as though i have to let you go.
i cant even pass you a simple letter,
you're getting it all wrong.
can i have a chance to speak up?
will you listen?

you said you wont run away,
you lied.
teach me to trust you,
i like you, i really like you.
i can wait till your exams are over,
and we talk, i wanna let you study.
i want you to study,
but can you promise me, you wont abandon me,
with all these left unsaid.

you're running away,
far far away,
im doing all i can to make you understand.
i want to be your friend, i am your friend;
dont run away, listen to what i have to say.

you blind me with your smile
you melt me with your presence
did anyone ever tell you, you have the sweetest smile?
im clinging on to hopes to save my days;
turn around, im waiting for you.
right here, i dare not scare you.
i dare not irritate you.

you said you wont run away,
you said you're not avoiding me.
are you?

im your passerby.
spell sad.

2007-07-29T15:53:00.000+08:00

i dont ever wanna see you sad anymore,
baby, i wanna be your 'passerby'.
i love you, weizhen.

2007-07-25T20:30:00.000+08:00

like, finally blogging?

ohk, today was really scary. AMRITA FAINTED DURING PE.
cos some of us had 2.4 run (re-test) , den she fainted, i had to run here and dere. and many passer-bys watched and kaypo kaypo + helped. long story luh, but, i just hope shes better now. REST WELL FRIEND. eleana, im glad we all did a good deed, even though we didnt get anything good through it, i feel so good saving a friend. how to save a life, and thanks to FOURone st johnnies, see, you saved a life!

so, cause i helped amrita and all, i didnt have recess ):
and we have to retake our 2.4 luh!
scolded by mrs ng,
and we were all smelly shit.

after school, we all like scavangers, skipped chem, and went to have porridge, whooohooo. eleana, jean, clar and i enjoyed our food, dont know abt charmain, she had pratta? oh, and the china students are gone, shame, didnt even interact with them, HAHAHAH. lessons were pretty slack today. hmmmmmm, jean, cheer up man, you'll see her tmr, HAH. staying back in skool tmr, with buddy, aishah, clar, jean, miko, charmaine, eleana all for chem buddy self study. sorry for ditching you today tessa, i was really hungry! and by the time we went back, it was over.
FOURone, please pray amrita alright.

prelims! 9 more days.
i wanna surrender to failure.
{:

___________________________________
ohk, put it all on me.
i said im sorry,
what more do you want me to do?
forgive me.

im sorry,
im sorry,
im sorry,
im sorry,
im sorry,
im sorry,
im sorry,
im sorry,
im sorry,
im sorry,
stephanie.

its killing me
its killing me,

2007-07-18T22:17:00.000+08:00

brought honey stars to school, whoohoo.
P.E was super fun! mrs lim let us play whatever we like, so we played captain's ball. it was tallies vs shories! unfair shit.

shorties aka, 1.50 grp (height) : fiona, yingxin, joelle, me and tina.
tallies aka, 1.60grp (height): eleana, venus, jean, sheryll and evelyn.
shorties: 2points.
tallies: 4 points.

i mean, it was like the attack of the giants. there was once, fiona wanted to grab the ball, eleana oso wanted to grab the ball, so both fell onto the floor, rolling away, still, clutching the ball. HAHAHAHAHA. super funny manz. and venus is a damn good ball thrower, i guess, the shorties didnt do that badly.

recessed, talked to zakiah, jean waited for me, tina talked to arina. so 3 of us, skipped english? got zakiah's help! funnnnnnnnnnnaye. discussed how we were gonna bluff mrs ng. then tina say she go take ezlink card, cos she need it for her malay nlevel oral today, jean and i say we did canteen duty! and zakiah, say yah yah.. HHAHAH. mrs N is really blur. math was ohk. lee seemed like he was in a good mood, thats good. he thaught me some math qs. buddy left math early, cos she got to go to telok kukau sec for her oral.

kept imagining tina was beside me, HAHAH, like talking to ghost man! jean and i hugged, and lee saw, den he keanna shock cos he thought we like each other!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!?! - LIKE NO! hahah. eleana, elyssa, clar, sotong and i kept disturbing ZF during chinese? keep meowing away, and she was super irritated. seeing her get irritated keeps me alive during her lessons. the day wasnt that bad, i actually had lots of fun. parkwayed with joelle and charmaine, had ban mian at roxy, walked ard parkway, charmaine got me a pushpop, how sweeeeeeeeet.

going, popeye tmr, whoooohooo. with, the usuals.
amanda lee, bimbo babe.
charmaine tan, the insane ban mian no #1 fan.
joelle seeto, the littttttttle girl.

cant wait yo! but i going parkway with amanda first, cos we're lit studdddddents, no need geog remedial (: buying suspenders, whoooohoo. YAYYYYYYYYY. talked to zakiah first time seh, on the phone i mean. so weird. dont worrrrrrrry friend, im cheered up oready. tmr's racial harmony day celebrations. im thinking of skipping her lessons again, HAHAHAH, it'll be a whole lot of laughs for sure.

oh, and my cousins are moving house luh, i'll sure miss their condo, at tanjong rhu, you have my memmories. /: and i cant wait to go to their new house,

day 2;
5 more days to go.

HAPPY RACIAL HARMONY DAY EVERYONE, in advance.

2007-07-16T18:02:00.000+08:00

and she will be loved,

zakiah came up to me during morning assembly, you like a guy. i thought to myself, yeh, melissa said told me that oready. bio was the first period, luckily mother leong was busy with the guangdong students, so she totally forgot about fourone. but it was good cause i cried. everyone was busy eating away, cause we won chocolates from some environment thingy. i gave mine to jean, cos i simply had no mood. cried silently. evelyn said, bungs cannot cry easily, IF I CRY SHE'LL SLAP ME. so i controlled my tears, but it just come out anyway. (but didnt get slapped!)

tina and jean tried cheering me up, it didnt work. soon, more people came to me and patted my head (?) thanks guys. eve and tina say, i should try liking crooks instead of straight people, jean added, yeh its easier. i know, but its not that simple to forget. decided to copy math instead, cellery was kind enuf to lend me her's. talked to jean, was abit better, but still, everything's all so fucked up. oh, and the clock dropped on mr meyer's head! HAHAHAH. after recess, zakiah came to talk to me, evelyn, joelle, clar, the whole gang came! charmaine told me to cheer up too. (: buddy and aishah were downstairs trying to throw the class keys to us, hilarious! HAHAH, keep failing. oh, and oral class made me laugh lots!

mrs oei was superrrrr funny please! she wanted to get our attention, so she used her, malay and indian slang! oh god, it was damn alike! pro pro. everyone enjoyed her lesson, cause shes really nice and entertaining. math after that, everyone didnt do, as usual, i pretended i did and all, uberrrrrrr funnnnny luh, he's so stupid. even people like sofia and cellery pretended, found out after that that the enitire class was pretending? LOL. den lee shouted at me? fuckkkking loud sial, like sim. HAHAHAH, den i shout back what luh, i so fucked up liao luh. urgh. chem was slacky shit.

she gave us the paper thing so fun! must find out what elements is it and all, '' what is used to neaten clothes? '' answer, iron, get it? HAHAHAH. supposed to have social studies remedial after that, but everyone skipped it, and agnus tan herself forget. den -koh lai fong- ( the, www. teacher ) came in and say, everybody must arrange tables and chairs? den i say, i sec 3, i not from this class, den she let me off, eve all oso, efffffffffffing retarded luh, shes so stupid! parkwayed.
______________________

i'll give this 7 days, if nothing's happening, im moving on. im all cried out, with nothing to say. i cant even talk to you, so, how do you even know how i feel? i feel terrible. im on the verge of breaking down. i just wanna scream, im tired, so tired. tell me, please, just tell me. ohk, i give up. im insane, just 7 days. after this week, everything's gonna be better. i dont care anymore. i love you, please dont abuse it. one day, when there's just no more tears to cry, you'll know i've given up on you. and slowly now, i feel that i want to give up on you. but it takes time. i dont wanna see you, i dont wanna talk to you, i dont wanna bother you anymore.

i used to, but you didnt care, so now, why should i? im having prelims soon, maybe after everything, i'll really recover. and im gonna have study leave, so we wont really be seeing each other anymore. so heck. if this is really what you want, den fine, i'll listen to you. i'll go, i'll stay far away from you, and i wont talk to you. counting down, 7 days. tell me whats happening. im loosing hope in everything now. my friends are trying their best to make me better, im not gonna disappoint them. no, im tired of chasing you. i deserve better. you can go to him now, i'll be ohk with it, give me some time to adapt to it. cause this is all what you want, so yeh, i'll fulfil your wish. 7 days later, this feeling, this pain, this sorrow will be gone. you've hurt me for the last time, i give up, i really give up. i'll not cry anymore, you're not doing anything anyway.
7 days, bye forever.

bungs dont cry.

2007-07-15T16:09:00.000+08:00

if i let you go - weslife.

but if i let you go,
i will never know,
what my life would be
holding you close to me.
will i ever see,
you smiling back at me?
how will i know?
if i let you go.

i feel handicap, watching you suffer in silence, it hurts me too. so much. but i cant do anything, all i could do is stand afar and pray you'll be ohk. you need time alone now. things are getting worse. now, every second, you're in my mind. i cant sleep, i really cant. my mind is always occupied by you. it hurts even more, when i see you in school, and we both pretend that everything's alright. but it isnt. i miss you, and i cant forget you. i wish i've never accepted being the soccer referee for family day. if i didnt, i wouldn't even have met you. i wouldnt have liked you. and you wont be in this state right now.

im in a daze, i cant think about anything else besides you. i cant worry about anything else but you. there's 3 math papers still left untouched, im gonna die so badly on monday. i dont care. i just want you to be alright. if giving you some time alone makes you feel better, than i'll gladly give it to you. please smile. i wonder how you're doing now. these arms will always remain stretched out to you. my world's in pitch black now. even teddy cant cheer me up, no one can. no one, but you.

i cry silently,
i cry inside of me,
i cry hopelessly,
cause i know i'll never breathe your love again.

balloons, take me far far away, from here.

2007-07-14T22:27:00.000+08:00

you had me suicidal, when you say its over.
i agree, love sucks.
and cupid just wont let me off.
can i say i miss you?
theres so much left unsaid,
the words that seem so hard to say, comes out when you've gone away.
i wish to vanish from this world,
i wish someone else can glue back the pieces of my life. im waiting.
im a failure. i feel confuse, you're so contracting.
i dont want you to go. stay tonight, and everything will be alright.
i know you care, i can feel alittle concern from you.
is it true?
or is it all just in my head? tell me, speak to me.
i miss you so, come back and talk to me will you?
i dont want to let go, i dont know. its so difficult to decide.
i love you babe. i do, believe these words.
but i also dont wanna hurt you too,
who will catch these tears when they fall?
im so tired of being all alone, and these solitary moments makes me wanna love you more.
give me a signal, give me some light.
make me feel better,
im at the lowest of the low.

2007-07-12T21:31:00.000+08:00

didnt really expected to blog today.
art mock test tmr, and nobody cares anymore.
HEY TINA, DONT WORRY, BUCK UP ALRIGHT?
things happened these past few days,
friendship, love? and math.

tuesday was supposed to be gerlare tuesday,
went parkway instead, i dnot wanna talk about it. ):
i thot that sim would have murdered me, but he didnt. szemin say, he didnt scold anyone that day? weird uh? she said, '' maybe he finally got a girlfriend?..... '' HAHAHHA. tuesday night was horrible, kinda argued with stephanie? idk. cried a river. i hope that things will get better, but i dont think it ever will.

wednesday had health check up. everything went alright in the morning, den eve and i argue during recess? idk whats happening really, im sorry if you think that i changed, but in fact i didnt. cried even more in class, esp math! kept singing, how to save a life by the fray? LOL. tina talked to me and stuff. sheryll and sofia threw tissue at me, den lee say what happened, DEN THE WHOLE CLASS LOOK AT ME SIAL. anyways, people talked to me, and i felt better. oh, and there was a fight in class? HHAHAHAHA. evelyn and joycelynn. too bad i was at the other clas, HAHAHAH, fiona said it was so exciting? LOL. went bedok, to makan. with n, m, t, a, i and f. they made me smile so so much, thanks guys!

talked and ate, ate and talked, 33 homed with buddy. the journey home was freaking hilarious. DAWGS. there's many dogs at my estate, buddy is super afraid of dogs, den she started commanding some dogs and all? HAHAHAH. there was once, we came across a house with 2 dogs, 2 very small ones. one is super fierce, and the other really cute and harmless? im guessing the fierce one to be male and the other female. they both started having sex, ( fiona's fav topic ) like infront of us? for afew seconds only? HAHAHAHAHAHAA. den buddy tried commanding the dogs? and the female dog pee-ed towards her! funny manz. YOU GUYS, REALLY CHEERED ME UP, ALOT.

angel, joelle, jean, tina, aishah, the bedok people, sofia, and cellery, donna, melissa wong many more, thanks yo.

nothing much happened today, keanna from lee today again? jean, clar tina and me. all crooks, so we talked about crooks stuff. and jean, with celeste? HAHAHAH. i went like, KC, is turning straighter and straighter. we must do something! HAHAH, being seniors of the school, we must uphold this long KC, tradition. jean and i missed like, 15mins of english? she wanted to see celeste, so i followed. and during english, tina and i having our little rock concert in our head all? i told her, if you see me stoning away, looking down at my paper, and my head rocking, you'll know im having my very own concert..'' and we both started rocking..... HAHAAHAHHA.

oh, and and and, HAPPY BIRTHDAY CHAIMING! you're 15! ahem, tina, clarissa, evelyn, fiona, and aishah, you guys are invited to the celebration tmr, after skool,
venue: canteen near drink stall.
PS, pay fiona, she bought the present.
for more info, please ask junita, 302.

tina, im gonna call you later, cheer up! arttttttt! omg. urgh, ohk, whatever. talked to samantha, and yancheee, both fed up witn artsy fartsy. aiyah, everyone is luh. countdown to prelims, its just another 20 days. FOURONE, buck up. almost forget, ate lunch with jean and z, s, a, t, talking about a certain subject. thanks guys, you all cheered me up again!

joelle, dont worry too much, you still got me.
clarissa, your little junior?
jean, celeste (: i'll tell you if i can go soon.
tina, SMILE SMILE SMILE. lee is a faggot.
aishah, walau eh.
_______________

whats gone is gone.
whats done is done.
i'll do my hardest not to turn back.
all i can say is i really do care,
and thats why im letting you go.
not just because friends told me not to be emo.
i wanted you, i needed you,
but you didnt feel what i feel.
i waited long but you never will.
so this is goodbye, i promise i'll not cry.
since you wanted it this way, i shall not stay.
i had my say, and the very worst day.
and i've never regretted loving you.
though its blue, but loving still, i planned to look away.
because i know, its just another blow,
and it hurts even more, to see you down.
no matter what, im always here,
remember this, i'll make it clear.
i can bear all the pain, you can even make me go insane.
but one thing i cannot do, is see the hurt pass down to you.
you make me cry, and wonder why;
so i'll stop it all.
you have your life, and i have mine.
stephanie, take this last goodbye.
sorry for everything, lets pretend its nothing.
it hurts, but so what, its over.
goodbye my friend, goodbye, lover.
nothing is forever.

2007-07-10T18:47:00.000+08:00

because i love you.
because you're adorable.
because you're smart.
because you're nice.
because you stole my heart.
because you're the one.
because my heart skips a beat when i see you.
because i wanna love you.
because you got my attention.
because you never fail to make me smile.
because i keep thinking of you.
because even if it hurts i love you.
because you're you.
because you're the first thing i think of in the day.
because you're the very last thing i think of at night.
because you're stephanie.
because i've never wanted to leave you.
because im addicted to you.
because i could stay up all night, stoning thinking of you.
because, i'll love you and i'll never ever let you go.

2007-07-09T21:54:00.000+08:00

i'll try to make this post as short as possible,
the EMDD topic will be in the next post, not this one.

fucked up for art, he told me to stay back in skool on friday, but i didnt, he's so unreasonable. and im starting to give up on art, cause of him. urgh, saw him at emdd, so suay. den he told me, he wanna talk to me on tuesday! oh joy, im so dead tmr. most of us just finished paper 1, Nlevels. well, there's still paper 2, and prelims. he knows that we're all so stressed up for our exams. cause, there's not only art, but our other subs. after knowing all these, he still can add a ''mock test'' for us, right before our prelims! oh gosh.

art isn't like math, english or science, art takes time to do. to complete 20 sketches, 4 thumbnails, 4 colour skemes and 1 painting tech within 3 days is insane, and not to say, simply impossible. HE'S MAD I TELL YOU. i know he's ready to scold me tmr, tmr's my dooms day, sorry fourone, esp, those weak hearted ones. dont worry guys, we can pass art, thank god he's not marking our N's. im so fucked up and stressed now. and so far, like, almost half the class cried over art oready. there's so much to do, canvas, prep boards, mock exam, URGH. asshole. we're supposed to be concentrating on our N's not his stupid test, which btw is not even counted in the report book.

burn in hell luh. parkwayed with jean, charm, eve, angel, aishah and jules. jean left so left only 6 of us, and i just broke down and cry. can you just imagine how effing bombed out i am? and he keep using sng to treaten us? big deal sial. FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUCCCCK. tina told me that alicia not going skool tmr. i also wanna skip luh. but, i wanna see stephanie? HAHAHAH. and im feeling feverish now? oh, and mum knows. she told me that if he dare do anything to me, she'll go skool and all. other parents all angry too. cause we all spending too much time on he's bloody art.

hey fouroners art peeps, if i keanna by him tmr, just know that, he's mental. and dont let him touch your canvas and all, he'll destroy them! HAHAHA, i sound like im really gonna die tmr! tina's damn scared now. idk, i guess everyone is. world war 3 tmr guys, REMEMBER TO BRING YOUR EAR PLUGS! one for all, all for one.
___________________________

hey stephanie,
i wish there's something i could say, to earase each and every page, you've been through. i know you're feeling lost now. im feeling it too. give me time, and i promise it'd be better.

2007-07-05T20:23:00.000+08:00

wednesday was stupid, lee scolded us for no darn reason.
half of the class went out, and evelyn's dad scolded lee? HAHAHA.
angel's dad complained, and my mum wanted to meet mrs sng? HAH.
stayed in skool to finish up chinese, it was the longest day of my life.
urgh.

thursday, same old same old, lee didnt scold us anymore, LOL.
left social studies earlier today, cause had n levels english oral. tina and i went to jo's class and all, super funny running ard the skool. had fish bun thingy miko ate. jules had lunch with us (: drank orange juice, den went straight to the examination area. waited outside, played the stupid, charmain, sotong, clarissa etc game, laughed like hell.

samantha kept asking us what was it about, HAHAHAH. went into the waiting room, den everyone kept talking in the freaking angmo accent. hilarious. my turn, den went in talk talk talk, easy peasy. parkwayed with evelyn, tina, charmaine, sotong, aishah. saw adeline and fren dere, she going EMDD too, yay. its been ages since i last saw her. /:

16ed home with charmaine, saw agnus tan at parkway! HAHAHAHHA. mum's not at home now ): im so bored, dere's the chicken dance tmr again, stupid. EMDD's coming, and clubbing here i come! hehhheh.

ZARA, thanks for making me laugh, it's not your fault. its mine, im a huge failure. sorry.
STEPHANIE, i so miss you.
its just so hard to look away, cause a part of me still wanted you to stay.
and i know, you've blocked me on msn, thats okay. whatever it is, i hope you're happy with your decision. i could have loved you, just like how you loved tennis.

2007-07-03T23:05:00.000+08:00

okay, donna was right. why shud i hurt myself so much,
whatever, i can get over you, and i will.
im not gonna let you pull me down. so, yeh.
dont worry friends, im really alright.
im like, so gonna concentrate on art mock exam and nlevels oral now.
OH, AND EMDD (:

evelyn, im so so sorry. i shudent have argue with you cause of her. and and, jo, LOVEDFACED! thanks alot man. your msges really saved me! HAHAH, you and your crappy socks (?) kaven and donna, BEST BROTHERS! hahah, thanks for cheering me up and all.
_______________________

- KAVEN EMO FUCK!&! LIVING A FUCKED UP LIFE NOW says:
i advice you smth ok. what's yours will be yours no matter what. what's not yours then get over it. [:
rmb this & you will lead life happily.
but sadly i didnt apply it to my own life. [:
.............................
............
....................
- KAVEN EMO FUCK!&! LIVING A FUCKED UP LIFE NOW says:
different problem. you should knw it best yourself. you're not ready for a long lasting r/s. cause trust me bro. you haven't found someone who really loves you
i cant really be bothered anymore; - okay, i give up. says:
haha, yeh. i know, dont worry, im gonna be alright!

and donna, thanks for the talk over the phone, i'll be alright.
HAHAHAHHA, retarded trio. anyways, see you after EMDD, lets go drink! heheheh.
___________________

LWSSOM, was alright today, really slacky. didnt sang at all. went to the recording studio instead, and we had to sing, THANK GOD, im singing next lesson. HAHAHA. zara and i were like, uhhhhhhhhhh. anyways, xiao xuan and i kept talking about EMDD, the class seemed real united, like, we bonded alot today? gorilla yixiang went to buy curry puff for iris? AHAHAH. and and and and and, dont worry eugene, CHEER UP! and please dont smoke anymore? renfeng was late, and she took the longest to record? xiaoran and trix sang pretty well. and LITONG IS STILL AFRAID TO SING, AS USUAL! and she wanted to sabo xiao xuan and me, cause, she know we going emdd, so we wont be going to the recording studio.

urghhh, you guys make me laugh like hell luh, and zara, you love bras (: HAHAHAHHAA. anyways, thank you for cheering me up.
__________________

fiona, you're the best tamil tiger lover friend, thanks for making me smile. HAHA, hilarious luh. TTS all day.
school tmr, oh shucks, lee is gonna pms again, i swear.
gonna stay back for chinese with eleana and elyssa all ):
dont worry friends, im alright.
loves.

2007-07-03T15:44:00.000+08:00

who will save these tears from falling?

i wanted to cry. but i dont want anyone to see me crying. so i bit my lip, but still, the heartache was there. i closed my eyes, and i counted to ten. i wished for the pain to go away, it didnt. it's still there slowly eating every smile i had to fake. ran back to class, half of the class had nlevel english oral, and im still in a daze. i remembered i had LWSSOM tonight, went down, still holding that piece of paper you gave me. szemin pulled me into the car, and i just followed like a walking zombie. throughout the car ride home, silence. mum and szemin keep turning ard to see why was i so quiet. i held that piece of paper tighter. and i kept reading those words over and over again.

i couldnt help it i cried in the car. but thank god, szemin and mum didnt notice. the tears never seem to stop flowing. and i remembered, what zara said was right. i am a failure, i can never have a girlfriend, im curse with love, im stupid, im nothing. i kept thinking of reaching home, going to my room and cry. and even when i close my eyes, the thought of you is there. it was like, there was no escape. szemina and mum kept talking, i wasnt sure what was it about. suddenly the car stopped outside the patrol station, i look ard, and i just wanted to run out of the car. im crazy. i wanted a place to cry, but the journey home took forever.

i've lost my appetite, nothing will cheer me up now, im not even talking to my friends because of you. i stood up for you, and i lost everything. im a failure arent i? classes later, and im gonna see zara. she knows im depressed now. she keep asking what happened, but i just told her, you're right. i am a failure. i've got no mood to practice oral, no mood to finish up art nlevels, no mood for emdd. just leave me alone, im cursed with love, yes im cursed with love. i dont want to go out later, i just want to cry. im emo, yes im emo. i always cry, im a loser a failure.

my eyes turned red, from all those tears i guess. cant you feel how much you meant to me? you might have just cost my friendship with evelyn. fuck. and smack before emdd. i want to run away, i dont think i can take another blow. all i wanted was to be your friend. i guess, im a failure at that too.

i shouldnt love you, but i want to.
there's so much i cant say.
do you want me, to have the feelings,
and look the other way?
and i dont know, how to be fine, when im not.
and i dont know, how to make this feeling stop.

just so you know, this feeling's taking control of me,
and i cant help it. can someone please save these tears from falling?
-

do you know what it feels like, loving someone thats in a rush to throw you away?
-
i just want to love you for the rest of my life. i want to cheer you up when you're down, i want to hug you so much and i want you to know, your happiness, plays a big role in my mood.

you'll never know, how much i would have loved you. because, i would have made your darkest days so bright. be happy, stephanie. bye.
i love you.
___________________________

sorry evelyn. ):

2007-07-02T22:39:00.000+08:00

youth day, or homework day?

anyways, went out with evelyn, angel, jean, joelle and joel. wanted to shop for EMDD clothes, but, there wasnt enuf time. evelyn was late. went down to peni, and the shop person still remember me (: HAHAHAH. i promised to bring more friends and i did, so yeh. they were super happy, and we got one whole shop all to ourselves. cause there were 2 outlets, HAHAH. we got VIP treatment oso sial. the J couple went dunno where, so left angel, jean evelyn and me.

den evelyn brought me to NDP.
so sad, there wasnt any fireworks though. the performance was boring. but the water works were effing good. there was this, person, evelyn calls her BB = big breasts, which eventually became GB = gigantic breast. HAHAHAHAHAH. den she keep talking damn loudly, and it was freaking irritating, so evelyn shouted, ''SHUT UP LUH, BB.'' den there was silence, AHHAHAAAHAHA. went to meet tina nankani buddy at the esplanade, and walked to marina square, talked about EMDD.
( im still waiting for the NDP pictures from evelyn )

tina told us that there was sale everywhere at town, heh. ate at longjohn, it was disgusting, ok, im not gonna talk about that. its just not hygenic. walked ard, and 36ed with evelyn to parkway at 10plus. homed at 11 plus (?) i forget.
__________________________

SUNDAY,
guitar with kevin. he told me that transformers were really good, and he kept urging me to watch it. im thinking to buy another guitar, its superrrr cheap. just $100, with the case summore. but if i buy it, it'll be my 5th guitar? URGH. no space no space. dinner at sembawangggggggggg. horrible night, ):
_________________

MONDAY,
went out again with fiona, evelyn and sharon. the guitars at peni are ultra nice. walked ard, den went to far east. ate at BK, and fiona lost evelyn's worksheet, cause she was copying and she left it there? HAHAHAHAH. she damn blur i swear. bought a vest for EMDD, $50. urghhhh, no money ): STUPID PEOPLE WHO BORROWED MONEY FROM ME ARE NOT PAYING UP, NOW I OWE PEOPLE MONEY AS WELL, fuck. walked ard summore, den saw zara. omg, i was like, trying to run away? den i pull sharon, den she pull me back. den evelyn shouted zara, den she saw me? HAHAHAHA.

i was really shy manz. cause cause, like its damn weird luh. i used to like her and all, den suddenly see her in town? whatever. went home and had dinner, copied math2. still got chinese, and art, oh joy. im so dead tmr. and and, im too lazy to stay back luh. jeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeezzzzz.
____________________

today's youth day, i dont see any celebration anywhere. is this really a holiday or an excuse to give more work? idk. OH, and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and, stephanie added me online?!?!?! HAHAHAHAH, i was shocked luh. and happy? idkkkk! i realized that i added wrong person, missed out an alphabet. im so dumb. den she added me, yay. but she's still really afraid of me? how how how? i just wish me and her can just talk, normally. hmmmm, i wonder, will she reply my letter? anyways, im happy enuf. (:

if you only knew how much i want you.
i've never wanted anything, the way that i want you.
stephanie, give me a chance. /:

2007-06-29T22:04:00.000+08:00

hi blog,
you've been pretty dead for awhile.

holidays are gone, prelim's in 2months time. nankani buddy and i are still stoning away during every lesson. seems to me that, this year flew by so fast, its gonna be july in a couple of days time (?) everyone changed, to me, FOURone seems to be getting more united, i love you guys man. we're more united in, bullying teachers? and there seem to be lesser cliuqes. thats good right? hehh. anyways, n'level art paper one is FINALLY COMPLETED. now, to start on paper two.

there's so much i left out, cause i've been rather lazy to blog, and i suddenly find blogging so dead, cause noone comes to read it? anyways, there's EMDD, next saturday, free tix. and we're all going shopping for clothes tml, im feeling fucking irritated now, cause, noone seems to bother abt the outing tml, cause everyone's tired out cause of art, ART IS MURDER. and in the end, i have to call up everyone and stuffffffffff. sheeeeesh. ):

oh, and i finally finished my canvas last night, at 2am. painted for more than 4 hours! thats longer than 5 periods of art. wrote a letter to S, didnt really wrote much cause my eyes were shutting. S is really scared of me now? fucking sad luh. im not scary lor. i dont know, omg.
curse with love, i swear.

do you know what it feels like, loving someone thats in a rush to throw you away?
im feeling real confused now, i dont want to give up on her, but i also dont wanna annoy my sister. oh fuck.
_____________________________

MATH WAS KILLERRRRRR;
mr lee, keanna pms again? den he shouted at the class, '' who didnt do the worksheet? go out now! '' so everyone walked out of the class, the whole class! omg. its the second time since last year manz. mr lee, was stunned, '' huh!?!?!?!??! the WHOLE CLASS AH??? '' den he told us to return to class all. nankani and i wanted to stay outside, cause we wanted to run down to get water from the water cooler, effing hot sial. den, he check who didnt do for another piece of worksheet, den, evelyn, nankani, me, jean, samantha, eleana, chitra, sheryll and sofia didnt do.

so keanna, had to write/copy about some stupid shit, talking about study skills? LOL. damn long luhhh. HAHAHHAHA. oh, and the excercise thing today was hilarious. chicken (: miko was sulking, angel, joelle and evelyn tried to follow the dance steps? and i just stand there with clar, looking like a retard chicken? LOL. i saw christelle flapping like a chicken too, HAHAH. alright, im superrrrrrrrrrrrrr tired, and jean just told me to return her call, so yeh thats what im gonna do.

BTW,
angel, evelyn, joelle, joel, tina nankani, fiona, aishah rawkstarrr, khai, jean, charmaine, alison (maybe); MEET AT CITY HALL MRT, @2PM.

2007-06-20T22:27:00.000+08:00

Nothing Lasts Forever - Maroon 5

It is so easy to see
Dysfunction between you and me
We must free up these tired souls
Before the sadness kills us both
I tried and tried to let you know
I love you but I'm letting go
It may not last but I don't know
Just don't know

If you don't know
Then you can't care
And you show up
But you're not there
But I'm waiting
And you want to
Still afraid that I will desert you

Everyday
With every worthless word we get more far away
The distance between us makes it so hard to stay
But nothing lasts forever, but be honest babe
It hurts but it may be the only way

A bed that's warm with memories
Can heal us temporarily
The misbehaving only makes
The ditch between us so damn deep
Built a wall around my heart
I'll never let it fall apart
But strangely I wish secretly
It would fall down while I'm asleep

If you don't know
Then you can't care
And you show up
But you're not there
But I'm waiting
And you want to
Still afraid that I will desert you, babe

Everyday
With every worthless word we get more far away
The distance between us makes it so hard to stay
But nothing lasts forever, but be honest babe
It hurts but it may be the only way

Tough we have not hit the ground
It doesn't mean we're not still falling,
Oh I want so bad to pick you up
But you're still too reluctant to accept my help
What a shame, I hope you find somewhere to place the blame
But until then the fact remains

Everyday
With every worthless word we get more far away
The distance between us makes you so hard to stay
Nothing lasts forever, but be honest babe
It hurts but it may be the only way

Everyday
With every worthless word we get more far away
The distance between us makes it so hard to stay
But nothing lasts forever, but be honest babe
It hurts but it may be the only way

2007-06-18T15:08:00.000+08:00

are we fading?

im sorry for being so selfish, yes i am. i want you to be happy, so just go with him. i can tell that he loves you, and he'll care for you, just like how i care for you, and please smile. i dont want to see anymore tears. you know i love you, and it hurts to ask you go with him, cause deep in me, i want you all mine. maybe you wont understand how i feel, but i understand how you feel. and i guess, you want him too.

bye wife, its changing now. and i cant share the attention you have, with him. im selfish, i want all of your attention, sorry. though its not much, cause you're a nut head, hahhah. i love you, and i really do. if i dont, i wont be here, hurting myself now. just be happy, tell me when he ask you for stead okay? remember your promise to me.
with love,
husband goldfish
_____________________

okay, fiona made a friendster acc for me, so add me.
www.friendster.com/kkeon.
the holidays are boring, i miss FOURone. and art camp.
havent been going out lately, except with tina and fiona, oh, and sotong. HAHAHAHHAHA. but i have plans this week okay!

MONDAY: rot at home, cutting hair tonight.
TUESDAY: going out with clarissa.
WEDNESDAY: - cp? pool? eh fiona plan something.
THURSDAY: buying jolyn's present, shopping with f and t ): aww man, its gonna be tiring. chalet at night. maybe going down to club attica.
FRIDAY: out with my wife, its gonna be a marathon walk.
SATURDAY: movie marathon and tina's, not yet comfirmed. LWSSOM.
SUNDAY: homework day.

so unfair luh, baby sister sleptover at melissa's house, with juliana, all. URGH, and now shes at wild wild wet. and im stuck at home. shucks.

okay, this is the lamest, i swear. HAHAHAHHAHA.
_____________________

i miss you, the telephone calls seems quiet-er now. silence kills.

do you know what it feels like loving someone that's in a rush to throw you away? how can i love you, how can i love you. how can i love you.

BLOOB.

2007-06-13T13:59:00.000+08:00

reason why i suddenly update blog, its cause of fiona.
hey fiona, if you're reading this, please feel honoured.
she keeps saying, '' hey, update blog, make friendster acc. ''
anyways, im dead bored, so yeh, gonna update.

last updated last thursday,
lets talk about art camp first.

friday, (art camp)
finished up painting tech and start on canvas, and i got a little art manager office, HAHAHHAHA. went ecp with tina buddy, evelyn and aishah. feels exactly like when i was leaving for china. cause, the night before i left, i went ecp with the same pple. den now, we go dere again, but this time, the one who's leaving is aishah. den tina was damn sad. went ecp macs, share fries, and aishah was damn irritated with the kethup thing. walked ard, saw airbrush tattoo stand/shop. den i say, aye lets go make airbrush tattoo tgt,

i was the photographer for the day, den tina say i got skills man! dey all wearing FBT, so dey went to play sea water, but i wearing KC uni, so cant. but its okayyyyyyyy. i had fun being a loner, /:
HAHAH. fiona didnt come ):
den evelyn and i saw a little boy fell flat onto his face, when his bike crashed with a little girls bike. den evelyn say, ''aye baby, hurry go and see......'' den i say, go help isit? den she say, '' no! help what, just go there see see lorr, hahahhaa...'' and i thought to myself, typical singaporean. went marine cove, look at the air brush tattoo thingy, den left. walked all the way to KC bus stop. said our goodbyes to aishah, cause that will be the last time we'll see her, till she return after 10days. TINA NANKANI CRIED. cheer up friend.
___________________________________

saturday, (art camp)
before it all started, everyone was sulking about it. but it turn out alright. it was better than what i expected it would be. and we are closer tgt as a class now. okay, and on the last day of art camp, hilarious shit happened. the school was closed? as in the general office. so everyone was waiting at the lower foyer. HAHHAHA, den lion' said, those pple who dont have things to do, can go 7-11 buy breakfast for everyone. so chitra, eleana elyssa and i went. buy cupnoodles all.

after painting canvases at the foyer, it was time to pack up and head home, eleana lend me her bottle of black paint. den i wanted to throw back at her, den she didnt catch it, den the whole bottle spilled onto the floor! den keanna stain, one big black patch. LOL. den got evidence summore, go eleana's blog.
www.zed-lifeconfession.blogspot.com got picture, by angel. funny sial.
///

went lwssom, lesson's as usual. chatted with iris and she say she wanna cut hair (?) letong and gorilla wasnt there. PEACE; whooohoo. after lessons, wanted to go meet evelyn all at central, but at last never, so went out dinner with family instead.
____________________________

sunday,
no guitar lessons.
________________

monday,
went clubbing at play. donna didnt go, dunno why. evelyn oso, hahhah. so annie went with me, and i pulled joelle along. met up at joelle's house, den annie and joelle keep trying to look good and all, HAHAHAH.
as usual, j camwhored. and annie say, shes not surprised that when we reach there, the cam will go flattttt, HAHHAHA. stopped at chinatown, ate at macs, den ask for directions. walk walk walk. den reach dere, waited for hannah. den she came, give tix.

annie went to smoke, i called kaven. and j keep saying she was scared (?) HHAHAHAHAHA. anyways, went in, and sat ard, at first afew pple only. den it was super boring, cause nobody high yet. went to buy drink, kaven went to have dinner with her stead and friends. met awhile later, den kaven intro me to her stead, michelle, potato aka xingyi, gabriel (straight) and michael who is gay, not bung. talked, den went to dance, WHOOOHOOO, highhhhhhhh shit manz.

esp j, she was like, dirty dancing with annie, please? den potato intro me to another friend, and she intro me to this girl, and i wanted to get her number. anyways, it was alright luh, yehhh. den annie's friends dere oso, den intro again. rainen and a bung, but i dunno the name. got loads of STC, SJC, TP pple, but no KCians. went there ard 9plus, and left ard 3am. was there for about 5hours. den cabbed to j house. the taxi driver think he so funny luh, but it was entertainment.

crashed at j place, i cooked super, and she prepared dvds. but she fell asleep, so we both went to sleep lor, slept at 6am, woke up at 1plus. wash up, went down to buy lunch. den watched spider lillies. with j and her stead. stayed there till 5plus? den went home. i stink luhhhhhhhhhhh, HAHAHAHAHHAHA.
joelle cam whoring again,
so loving.
okay, talked to kit, AND, SHES MY LAOPO AGAIN, yesssssssssssss. talked about loads of stufffff. from 10pm to 2.30am = 4hours. wow.

sleep.
_________________________________

thats all for now, thinking of updating china pics soon.

2007-06-07T22:17:00.000+08:00

tuesday,
went evelyn's house after skool, movie marathon was canceled, cause her brother at home, den cannot watch. 55ed to ubi with angel, tina and aishah. reached the bus stop, den fiona called and said her dental appointment was canceled, so she coming with us all. HAHAHAH, den she super funny luh, she came down her house to meet us, and she never change, hahh. so instead of movies, dey played majong.

i didnt play cause, miko, evelyn and sharon teached me before, budden i still dont get the game, like, no link sial, HAHAHAH. so angel, evelyn, fiona and aishah played. den half way tru, fiona backed out, den evelyn angry and all, FUNNY SHIT SIAL. den evelyn shouted but fiona still dont care, and she started taking 'emo' pictures of tina and i luhhh. went down to buy bubble tea for the majong kakis, had talks about the TTS! ohhhgawwddd, hilarious shittttttttttttt. &&& fiona went high. and tina say she was superrrr scared and all. the CL topic was hot too, and suddenly, SLB topic just faded away. HAHAHAHAHAHAH.

went down after another round of majong, den go makan, aishah and i were like, hungry ghost sial. den miko come, evelyn and angel share wanton with me. tina and fiona dunnoe go where luh, den aishah and i sat at the playground waiting for them all, and angel, miko and eve went to the void deck. played basketball with, fiona's so called, ''future yao ming''...... den she went like, high again, and she scare the little boy offfff, well done fiona lime pei ru. HAHAHAHHA, you're entertainment i swear. okokok, went back, and dey played majong, AGAIN.

tina, fiona and i were like, damn bored luhhh. left, tina buddy, aishah, and i have the same bagggggggg, coooool siol. den homed.
___________________________

wednesday,
went eleana's house to chiong movies, watched crossroads, norbit and alittle of tiger lillies. crossroads was damn cool luh, reminded me of fiona and the little boy playing basketball. HAHAHAH, but the ending was sad and all. anyways, NORBIT, was a hell load of laughs, cant stop laughing mannnnnz. '' how ya doing'? '' HAHAHAHHAHAHA. if you wanna watch it, come look for me, i can lend you the dvd. hehhh, ohhhh, and eleana's house got dog, den tina and aishah scared like see ghost sial, den jump on the sofa all! too bad didnt record. elyssa and annie there oso, but dey left after watching norbit.

yehhhh, tina, A and i bluff eleana that we staying over, den she believe, gulibe can? wanted to walk all the way to bedok interchange, budden its like, damn far, so tina and i cabbed back and aishah bussed home.
______________________

thursday,
art camp was killer, at first luh, lion roared again, venus damn poor thing luh. after awhile, lion was alrighttttt, AYE, HE CONFISCATED MY EAR STUD LUHHHH, jeeeezzzz, nvm, i go buy again. stupidddddd, hahhh. breaks was the best, evelyn, charm, zara, jean, tina, aishah and i went to 7-11. ate cup noodles in like, 30mins. evelyn, angel and jean cabbed to parkway and takeaway food for us at parkway. lunch was goooooooooooooood. turned out, that the camp was damn fun, like, we bonded and all, kinda looking forward to tml. yehhh.

had heart to heart talks with loads of people today, jean, eve, tina+ a, jules. me and c are like, drifting away, and i dont know why, bye bestie and hello stranger. im breaking inside. paint and talked paint and talked, HAHAHHAA, evelyn, all went high and crazy. but, its alrighttt, cause it made time moved fasterrrrrrrrrr, i love you guys luhhhh, always there, and always providing me with entertainment. HAHHAHA. wanted to go central, but went ps instead, dinner at mos burger with eve and tina and a' went ljs. walked ard at carrefour, and all. OHHH, and we scolded some children, superrr funny luhhhhh. well, the day was fun.

16ed home with tina, talked and all. damn sleepy luh, hahahah. another day at art camp tml, i sure hope lion dont roar. 9am - 5pm , whoahhh, super long luh, but must tahan. die die die /:

2007-06-04T16:40:00.000+08:00

i miss china.
okay, school suck, this is no holiday.
i really miss the night bar people,
judy, joyce, andy, tina, monkey boy, luyan <3
though its only 4days,
i just cant seem to forget you guys, esp luyan.
because i know, we'll never meet again.
so take my last goodbye, beneath it all, hear my heart cry.

cant wait for this week to end, gawd, its killer. and my head just keeps rocking. gotta get tickets to PLAY, havent got them. fuck. alrightttttttttt, theres still so much undone. math is murder, 3 test papers still waiting for me to do. ): IF ONLY I CAN REWIND, I MISS YOU. (all)

its good to be back, cause i miss the uno kakis, fiona, tina all. sorry clar, didnt manage to get you a chiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiina prostit-te. /: but i hope you're happy with what i gave you. &&&&& HAPPY SWEET SIXTEEN, BIMBO BABE. blow out the candles. oh, and you too arina. whoooo hooo, and love faced's birthday is getting closer. MAY/ JUNE BABIES. shittttttt, my head's still rocking. i feel, s=l=e=e=p=y.

have to fill in a stupid testimonial thingy, and i hope mum dont give me tuition. ART CAMP'S ROUND THE CORNER, get your ear plugs out. ROARRRRRRR. urrrrrrrrgh, hack luh, fuck math, im not gonna do. ):<
kitttttttttttttt, dont worry bout giant alright? you still have me, i'll update about the china trip some other day, superrrr tired please.

zara's, not bothering me liao, zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

___________________________
this love, is not like others, no. games and no direction, sympathy and infection, you'll never get that from me.
who are you now, are you still the same or did you change somehow, what do you do, at this very moment when i think of you.
it started out with a kiss, how did it end up like this? it was only a kiss, it was only a kiss.

2007-05-26T23:08:00.000+08:00

okay, i've estimated, i'll take more than an hour to write this post.
its gonna be a long post, and it'll be the things i wanna say before i leave to china. it's 11.10pm now. saturday, 26th may 2007. when the clock strikes twelve, i know that i only have a couple of hours to say my last goodbye. its so hard, to leave singapore, though i can miss lessons and all, i really rather stay here. im fuckking sad now luh, cause im gonna miss amanda's birthday. MY DEAREST BIMBO BABE. i'll wish you an advance happy birthday now alrightttt. dont worry, i'll celebrate with you when i return okay? sorry babe /:

and, i cant bear to leave my friends luhhhhh. esp the ones who makes me laugh all the time, BYE BYE. i know its only just eight days, but i will really miss out alotttttt. you guys are like, the entertainment of my life, esp clarrrr with the breast wars, fiona and her kite flying jokes, tina and her gooffy laughterrrr. and not forgetting, joelle, amanda, charm and all. jeeeeeezzzzzz. i'll miss you guys. i really will.

evelyn, charmaine, joelle, amanda, aishah, tina, fiona, jean, angel, clarrrr, the uno kakis, jules, and more. update me with all the happenings okayy? hahhh, and dont worry fiona, i will miss you the most! hahahah, eh tina budddddddy, cheer up alright? i'll be back before you know it. and aishah will too. clarrr, breast war in eight days time, cant wait to see you again. sorry about today, i was damn moody. joelle, dont stress yourself out with your 'problems', learn to put yourself in his shoes instead okay? i cant hear you out for the next 8days, but if anything happens, always follow your heart okayyy?
__________________________________

FAMILY DAY.

woke up at 6am, went to school with baby sisterr at 7am. it was freaking early can? so i waited for FOURoners. at last, zara came, followed by tina, hinna charmaine, amanda and all. helped set up the stall. soccer was damn sian cannnnnn, under the hot sun for hours, running like hell. and my sweat can fill a swimming pool. HAHAHA. khai and jean's team won first! WHOOOHOOOO. fouroners bodohhhh. walked ard the school, helped a little with the candy floss stand, den went to the haunted house thingy with angel and tina. it was superrrr fun sial.

the queue was really long, but my sister class people let me cut queue, so yehhh, went 2times, first with angel and tina, den with jean, arina and miko, and also with chrsitelle, adeline and all. yehhh, saw my baby sisterrr, den she wanted to scare me, i reconized her, so i say, '' ehhhhh, come come, let me kiss youuu.'' den she say, '' arghhhh, dont want dont want.'' hilarious shitttttt. AHAHAH, and for letting me cut queue, and also letting christelle, arina and all cut with me, i treat my sister and her little friends candy floss. (:

overall, family day was fun, i was damn tired. the starting of the day was damn suay luh, i got period, den fight with clarissa, ear bleed. stupidddd luh. but it soon got better. FOURone, our stall made ard $500 plus. yehhh. congrats fourone, see, the things we can do if we're united as one?
____________________________

cabbed home, rushed tru the last minute works for zara's book. bathed den cabbed down to LWSSOM. just in time man. hahaha. talked to zara, i'll miss youuuuuuu. you're also one of the reasons why im sad too. eight days without calling you, damn sad luh. do well for chinese O's okay, and read the entries i wrote for you. hugged her, for the first time, superrr happy luh, HAHAHAHA. met jean, den cabbed down with her and her little bro and elder sister to her house, dropped her off, den went to meet evelyn, fiona, tina, aishah, annie, adeline and miko at east coast park. shared burger at BK with eve. i didnt eat anything at all, besides candy floss luh.

went to the arcade upstairs. play play play, den went home with fiona and tina. DEN TINA ALMOST CRY LUH, and she almost made me cry too. hugged and all, we'll see each other in eight days time okay? fiona was like, '' i'll miss you man, porkbear. now no one stare at me in class, how? '' HAHAHAH, fiona you lame luh. group hugged. damn sad luh. GAWWWWD. 16ed home alone, and i suddenly realized, how much i treasure you guys. well, i'll come home soon. /:

feel like, i hugged alot of people today, tina, fiona, evelyn, airna, zara. HAHAHA. got to go to the airport at 11am tml, flight's at 1 plus, i'll call some of you before i leave okay? yehh. start the countdown. getting damn sleepy. its close to twelve now. and im waking up at 6am to pack my stupid luggage, i haven even finish packing sial. alrightttt, im gonna turn in soon. see you guys in eight days time. you'll be missed, dont forget to tag me ah. i dont wanna miss out. loves.
___________________________

BYE SINGAPORE.
BYE FRIENDS.
BYE SCHOOL.
BYE _ AR A.
BYE EVERYONE.

i'll come back next sunday.
bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye. ):
the uno kakis. <3princess fiona, tina and clarissa.last but not least, fiona.

alrightt, its close to 1am. i got to need some shut eye. leaving in a couple of hours time. bye bye. /:
aye, take care of yourselves ahh, and enjoy lessons with lee. HAHAH.
goodbye.

2007-05-25T16:19:00.000+08:00

FAMILY DAY TML,

stayed in school to help mr lee for the preparations in the games tml, im the referee, and angel's the scorer. i hope i wont make any mistakes, lee said that if i make a mistake, the people playing will kill me, HAHAH. anyways, seems like its gonna be fun tml. before we left the skool, we saw some FOURoners at the foyer, THE CANDY FLOSS MACHINE ARRIVED! haahaha, den they taught us how to operate the machine, superrr cool can? den they demo, and the asked zara to try, it was gooooooooooooooooood. i bet we'll make a fortune tml, HAHA. people already started asking us how much the candy floss will be and all, HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEH.

oh, and baby sister and her class are doing the haunted house this year, at the music room, i had a peek into it, cause they allowed me in, SPECIAL PREVIEW (; ahahahha, i think they did a pretty good job, dey had a trial run today, so they painted faces and all, den the paint couldn't come off! HAHHAAHHAHA, hilarious shittttt. ITS DAMN SCARY, yehh. &&&&&&&& since i know practically everyone in 303, they allow to cut queue tml, HAAH.

MASS TODAY WAS BORING, the only fun part was when angel, clar and i played uno, DURING MASS, hahaha. &&&&& christelle sat next to me! coinsedence or whatttttttt? we talked and all, den she kept poking me, tapping my shoulder, den she pretend it wasnt her and all, like as if im that stupiddd luh, HAHAHAH. it was funny, but you're kinda adorable. /: after laughing and all, she fell asleep. HAAH. had family day preps, and the whole school was like, everywhere, setting up thier stalls for tml. den jean, chitra and i went to help mrs sim to carry tables and chairs, EFFFFFFFFFFFING FUNNAYEEE luh.

hah we used the oht projector cart as a trolley, cause we didnt want to carry the heavy tables, so we stacked 3 tables and 3 chairs. HAH. den we met this 'act ang mo' lady, den she was damn rude and her makeup was like, horrible, but shes like, ENTERTAINMENT. so yehh. MIDDDDDYEARRRRRRS SCREWEDDDD. shucks.
but overall, today was fun, cant wait for tml.
___________________________

ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, leaving in 2 more days,
im gonna miss you guys. jeeezzzzz,
i researched on chongqing, china. cause im going there,
it looks nice, kinda like shanghai.
like, shopping place, so yehhhh.
i'll get you stuffffff, and i'll bring along the list.

pictures of chongqing,

SLB says that chongqing is famous for steamboat, so yehh.
steamboat = eleana, hahh.

the cruise im gonna bung in for 3 days,

chongqing zoo.
& chongqing at night.

bye singapore, see you in eight days. /:

where have your promises gone?

2007-05-24T22:38:00.000+08:00

where have your promises gone?

Promise - Matchbook Romance.

What would you say if I asked you not to go?
To forget everyone, forget everything,
And start over with me?
Would you take my hand and never let me go?
Well promise me you'll never let me go.

And now the stars aren't out tonight,
But neither are we to look up at them.
Why does hello feel like goodbye?
And these memories can't replace,
These wishes I wish and dreams I chase.
Well take this broken heart and make it right.

I feel like I've lost everything when you're gone.
Left remebering what it's like,
To have you here with me.
I thought you should know,
You're not making this easy.

I never thought I'd be the one to say,
Please dont, well please dont leave me.

I feel like I've lost everything when you're gone.
Left remembering what it's like,
To have you here with me.
I thought you should know, you're not making this easy.

You're not making this,
easy. (x5)

Take my hand and never let me go.
Take my hand and never let me go.
Promise me, you'll never let go.
Never let go, never let go.
You'll never let go.

Make this last forever.

I feel like I've lost everything,
When you're gone.
Left remembering what it's like,
To have you here with me.
I thought you should know,
You're not making this easy.

You're not making this easy.
You're not making this easy.
You're not making this easy.
You're not making this easy.

I'll fall asleep tonight,
Cause that brings me closer to you.
__________________________

have been playing lots of uno lately, i suck at that game, i keep losing, and whenever people play with me, the game will take an hour, things happened, and where do i start? i just need someone to press rewind, i need you, so badly, and you cant see it. im just not letting it show. but the truth is, though it seems like im alright now, im still craving for you, i miss you. every hello i say on the phone seems like goodbye, im trying hard to be strong. what if you're still here with me? what if things go on like how it always were, would we be together by now? empty promises hurts the most, but these memories, i cannot replay.

i passed midyears, but i did really badly. lots of things on my mind now, im leaving in another 2 to 3 more days, im supposed to be happy, getting ready to go on holiday, but, why am i not? i guess i cant put down the things and problems im facing here, it dont even feel like a holiday at all, so rush, im not even done packing my luggage. i suddenly fee like as if, theres so much to do. to cut short, im worried, i dont want to let go. i dont want to take another blow.

photo taking today, buddy and i agreed that it seems, everyone is bonding and all, compared to last year, there's lesser cliques now. and how time flies, midyears over, prelims next. 5 months flew by in a blink of an eye. alrighttttt, here are the pictures, FOURoners, take here, cause msn superrr laggy, and the transfer is damn slow. /:

(from left to right)
top row: melissa, chitra, venus, jean, jolin, sheryll, amrita, zara,evelyn, yanchee, clarissa, alicia.
middle row: fiqah, mashita, fitriyah, irni, nisa, aishah, elyssa, khai, shimin, tasneem, angel, ME.
bottom row: joelle, yingxin, fiona, tina, hinna, mr G. lee, ms Wu. HQ, amanda, charmaine, sofia, amirah, sondra.
missing in picture: samantha.p & SLB (sun leng bing).

the uno people.

2007-05-21T20:00:00.000+08:00

you - RTN, porkpork.

leaving in six more days.
you left me with nothing more to say,
drowning here with nothing more to give.

cause i never love like this,
you stole my heart with just a promise
now i cant get over it.

the love we had,
i'll give anything to have it back,
those calls we shared,
can never bring me back to you,
a broken promise left alone,
a broken heart,
now, im singing this to,

the stars who were always there,
the tears you and i both shared, you know,
i cannot let this go.
the entires i wrote in my dairy,
the songs i played when you're around me,
i just hope you're happy, without me

now, im saving this last goodbye,
with tears stinging my eyes,
would you ever know,
the pain im feeling inside,
but its alright, if i really love'd you i,
be singing this to,

the times i treasured most,
the you i loved before,
the smile on your face,
the laughs you bring everyday,
the feelings i have so deep,
i'll dedicate this,
to all the things, and all the memories.

and all the memories, and the promise, i wish,

the stars could have fall,
i'll give it all,
i'll teasure everyday,
now you're gone.
i'll hold you in my arms,
i'll say i'll never let you go,
i'll say you're the one, i love you, dont ever go.
dont ever go.
__________________________

so i guess, this is the end. thanks for everything, i'll be okay. dont worry. study hard for your o's, so long as you're happy, i'll also be. i love you.

2007-05-21T18:30:00.001+08:00

i love you.

2007-05-20T22:39:00.000+08:00

its hard to deny,
cause i miss you so.

having back aches again, but you know whattt, my heart aches more. every second without you is torture. and to know that the feeling you have for me is almost gone, leaves me hanging here. i can give all my love to you, and i can make you smile like how you used to do. tears sting my eyes everytime i think of you. idk what to do. i'll try my best to smile, i'll force out a smile. i will, for you. it doesnt matter if it hurts, so long as im going tru this pain with you, its okay. i guess, its been pretty hard for you too. its alright, i understand. your studies are more important. tell me when you're better. but i think, by the time you get better, the feeling is totally gone.

its okay, just know that the feelings i have for you will always be here. i'll build a wall around my heart, that would only break apart by you. i miss you, so much. i'll trade anything, just to hear your voice. tell me how you feel. im so lost and confused. im so scared of what you're thinking now, i want to talk to you, like how we used to. the nights seems so long without you on the phone. and, its not your fault okay? its mine. i was selfish, i deserve this. i wish for another chance, i wish for another chance to say i love you.

i've been waiting, but the sun refuse to shine.

2007-05-18T23:06:00.000+08:00

dont take too long to say, i love you
to the ones you love,
cause time, has a habit of slipping away.

can i say im afraid?
im afraid of letting you go,
im afraid of what you're thinking of right now,
whats going on in your mind, it makes me worry.
you wanted time, i'll give you time.
the feeling with you is so right, i just dont know how to explain.
you made me feel loved once again.
you said you like me, when i said i liked you,
i believe in every word you say, cause i know its true,
there is sparks, i know there is.
we can make this work, or we can end it just like this.
you asked, is this worth it, for me to get hurt,
i say, not loving you, is a thousand times worse.
i love you, and i'll say it out loud.
i want everyone to know, its only you i think about.
__________________________

tml was supposed to be the happiest day i'll have with you. i wanted the day to be perfect, i planned on every detail, i put in so much, cause i just wanted you to smile. i know its been hard on you lately. i was hoping our date can calm you down. but i guess, that date will never come.

having slight fever now, im supposed to be sleeping. but i cant, how can i? after what you told me, i tried not to think about it, but i cant. what if one day, you really, cant be bothered with me, whats should i do then? its not your fault, and i'll never blame you. maybe the problem lies with me? i should be cheering you on for your o's. i want to..i want to see you ace the paper, i do. but everything's changing now. and i dont know why. maybe when i return after my holiday, you'll be better. o's are more important. and i dont want you to regret your results, whats there to loose? im just putting my love and everything i work for on the line! its okay, i trust you. do well for your chinese o's alrighttt?

maybe we'll go on that date i planned after i return. alright? i hope that things will really get better. i dont want you to be scared of me, i just want things to be like how it was. i'll give this time, but meanwhile, hold on and bear with me for awhile okay? i just wanna spend a little more time with you before i leave. just afew minutes everynight. perhaps talking, will de-stress you? and sorry for disturbing you nowadays. i was just checking up on you. studyy hard, and do your best. dont worry, you will defitnely scored with flying colours. i know you will, cause i believe in you.
__________________________________

gonna turn in soon, im feeling much better after talking to you, REALLY. strange isnt it? but yehh. im really feeling a whole lot better. but mum still insists on me taking medicine, HAHA. /:
_____________________

michael buble - everything.

You're a falling star
You're the getaway car
You're the line in the sand
When I go to far
You're the swimming pool
On an august day
And you're the perfect thing to say

And you play it coy but it's kinda cute
Oh when you smile at me you know exactly what you do
Baby don't pretend that you don't know it's true
Cause you can see it when I look at you

And in this crazy life
And through these crazy times
It's you
It's you
You make me sing
You're every line
You're every word
You're everything

You're a carousel
You're a wishing well
And you light me up
When you ring my bell
You're a mystery
You're from outer space
You're every minute of my every day

And I can't believe that I'm your man
And I get to kiss you baby just because I can
Whatever comes our way

We'll see it through
And you know that's what our love can do

And in this crazy life
And through these crazy times
It's you
It's you
You make me sing
You're every line
You're every word
You're everything

And so la la la la
So la la la la

And in this crazy life
And through these crazy times
It's you
It's you
You make me sing
You're every line
You're every word
You're everything
You're every song
And I sing along
Cause you're my everything

Yeah, yeah

So la la la la
So la la la la

2007-05-16T15:40:00.000+08:00

midyears overrrrr.
whooohooo, slacky shittt babeh.

art paper was torture, 3hours. though i had to chiong art, i still called you, i miss you. chinese oral was alright, and i pity the f&n girls, tsk tsk. didnt go parkway with tina and gang. superrrr tired. homed, slept for an hour and went to leeweisong. and i finally gave you the box, i kept it for about a week, and i wondered if i'll ever give it to you. - &&&i did.

met joelle at parkway, wanted to play pool. but joelle wanted to go to the beach, so yehhh. thought of cabbing down to joelle's house at first, so i waited for cab. den i saw yixiang, he oso waiting for cab, so we waited tgt lorrr. there was no cab. all on-call or hired, we waited effing long sial, den we walked to orchard point. still dont have, cbcbcbcbcb. in the end, i 16ed down to parkway straight instead of meeting joelle at her house. felt so bad, cause i pang sei yixiang, hahh.

reached east coast, went to ecp macs. i was starving, havent had dinner. hahhh, saw meilin, chrystal + sister, valerie and vernice. meilin's dog was frigging cute. like a snowball, HAHH. && joelle, cheer up alrighttt. walked to the beach, and as usual, joelle started cam whoring. and she dragged me into it. she and her emo-ness. THERE WERE NO STARS. damn sad luh. talked and talked till 11.45pm went to 7-11. cabbed home at 12.30plus? reach home at about, 1.15am.

i suddenly miss you so much, i really hope that you love the red box. and when i saw you last night, i wanted to say, i love you. i guess i just didnt have the guts to. maybe, one day i will. i'll wait for that day to come.
________________________________

FOURone,
lets make this family day work out, we can do it. the committee changed the proposal for family day, cause someone, im not gonna mention names, lost or didnt hand in the proposal. we are given till this friday to sort things out. and we decided to sell pizzas instead nuggets and all. canadian pizza, is gonna sponsor us, usually, we have to buy a pizza for bout, 20 plusplus. but now, dey are only selling to us for 8 bucks. however, we cant get the 2for 1 thingy, but still, if you do your math, its still cheaper. yehh. we didnt want to make our own pizzas, cause it will take up time, and we still got to buy ingredients and stuff.

hence, we just order and sell on family day. the committee has decided to order 50 pieces. and the cost will total up to $400. and guess whatt, you guys dont have to pay a cent. cause if you guys pay, it'll be $10plus per person, and there will be money issues and all. in order to get the $400 capital, the committee is doing a car wash, to raise funds. we have mr lee and ms lam permission oready.it will be held in skool, on monday and tuesday, during the post exam activites. we need more people to help with this. the more the better. our aim is to wash 50 cars. $10 a car. pleassssse lend a hand.

this will be over 2 days. yehh. lets make this year family day possible. let the committee know if you're in this. we need as much help and support as possible. you can also spread the word, and get your parents to come support us. it'll be great. four/one, ONE FOR ALL, ALL FOR ONE. see you guys on friday, whoooooooooo.
____________________________

DEAD DEAD BOREDDDDDDDD.
10 more days till i leave this place, i dont wanna go. fuccckkk.
mum says i have to go prepare my luggage now, saddddd.
i hope i can get to apply auto roaming. 8 long dayyyys, im kinda afraid.
im afraid that things will be different when i return. shucksss.
things as in,
1) my friendship with clar, i really dont want things to be like last time, geezzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.
and,
2) the relationship/ friendship with zara. i'll miss you. god knows what will happen within those 8days. and without my nightly calls, hahhh.

am i thinking too much again?
idk.

2007-05-13T19:19:00.000+08:00

lets give this love 9/10.
9 for the love i have for you,
and the remaining 1 will be the things we'll go tru,
tomorrow.

i love you.

2007-05-12T01:11:00.000+08:00

its one in the morning, i need to sleep,
i cannot sleep.
its one in the morning, i need love,
i cannot love.
its one in the morning, i need trust,
i cannot trust.

i dont know i dont know i dont know i dont know i dont know i dont know i dont know i dont know i dont know i dont know i dont know i dont know i dont know i dont know i dont know i dont know i dont know i dont know i dont know i dont know i dont know i dont know i dont know i dont know i dont know i dont know i dont know i dont know i dont know i dont know i dont know i dont know i dont know i dont know i dont know i dont know i dont know i dont know i dont know i dont know i dont know i dont know i dont know i dont know i dont know i dont know i dont know i dont know.

i want to love you, believe me, i do. i really want to.
but, do you really want to? /thanks for the memories.

it feels a thousand times more hurtful when you left me here hanging on slight hope. please, let me regain my trust in you. i dont wanna doubt you anymore. let me love you, let me show you what it feels like, when you're with me. it hurts me seeing you hurt.

you, have stolen my heart.
im dying for a chance with you.
let me say i love you, openly.
and you'll say i love you too.

& HAPPY 2 MONTH ANNIVERSARY KIT. (;
- 1:26 am, saturday. 12/05/07'

2007-05-11T20:04:00.000+08:00

living off my neighbour's internet network for nearly 2 weeks now.

wednesday night.
i swear, fiona and gang are really really insane. it was chrystal's birthday, so they dedicated a song to her on perfect10, 98.7fm. dey wrote, ''we wanna dedicate this to chrystal, its her birthday.. from venus, kitty, daphne, yingxin, tina, fiona (& more)... den the last part, the dj was like, pork! pork?? porkchop? with that 'ang mo' slang. everybody laughed, stupid luh, hahaahh, and clarissa's name keanna cut off.

fiona said that maybe the dj dont like her name, HAHAHAH. it was hilarious man, and i didnt hear itttttt! i waited for almost an hour, so i grew tired of waiting, and i needed to use the toilet very urgently. so i left my sis's room. wasted luh, damn sad. but, baby sis and i talked alotttt, hahhh, loves.
______________________

thursday.
there wasnt any paper for 401, so i went to parkway to collect something from 77th street with evelyn. waited for her like hell under the burning sun, went giant, shopped, super funnyyy. we drived the cart ard the supermarket, and the aunty dumpling (ahem clarissa's fav) still remembered me sial, HAHAHAH. den she said, eh eh, you want dumpling? , fuckkkk so paisei. 15ed to evelyn's house, sharon came, miko oso. they teached my how to play mahjong, but i dont get it at all. watched tv, about poachers and this thai teen trying to find his lost baby elephant in australlia or sumting.

really touching man, miko, sharon and i was damn into the show den evelyn switched the channel. hahh. but still managed to catch the last part of the movie. miko went home, tv-ed and talked till ard 7.30plus? yehh, annie came, sat below eve's block and chatted. 3bungs and 1 crook. 8.15pm, left and cabbed down to eunos mrt station, dropped sharon off, annie and eve went to the bazar. ANNIE WAS SUPER RELUCTANT TO GO, hehhh. went home.

i thought alot, and i finally decided to call you. i was glad things cleared up, this was the first time we talked so long. though alot of my friends tried cheering me up, you was the one who really brought back my smile, thank you. i guess, you're really important to me. and when i said i love you, i do mean it, i meant eveything i said ytd night. i rather you hurt me, den i hurt you. i hope this last.

stayed up till 1am plus, thanks to fiona luh, saying that she dedicated a song or sumting, but in the end, the mail wasnt read. spend 1 whole hour waiting. nothing. STUPIDDDDDDD. i bet the dj is irritated oready, hah.
___________________________

friday.
woke up at 9am sharp. late for bio paper!
it starts at 11.50 and ends at 1.05pm
i went to skool at 11.55 and the paper end at 1.10pm.
everyone was waiting for me luh, rrrrrrhahhh, i missed the bus luh.
left 2 pages blank, and slept. for OAS, i just anyhow shade, shiok.
went parkway macs with tina buddy, aishah, clar, chitra. played uno (:

i lost the game luh, damn suay can. booooo. spend $2 in macs only, cool. i no money whuuuttt. fiona, yingxin and chrystal joined us awhile later. and FIONALIM PEI RU WAS TRYING TO TEACH CHRYSTAL'S LITTLE BRO TO SAY PORK PORK, den he pointed his fingers like a gun and started banging her!!!!!! AAAAAAAHAHAHAHAH. fiona fiona, you do the funniest things.

went marina parade library, joined angel, eleana and elyssa, it was a huge study group man. joined like, 4 to five tables? HAHA. tina kept taking pics, shall update them soon. elyssa and eleana left, clar went to meet jolyn. when fiona heard abt it, she flared up, cos she felt angry for me. its okay, really. jolyn and i are in the past, so yehh. /:

discussd on when we're going sentosa like last year, superrrr fun, soon okayyyys. draw little stick figures of tina, angel, aishah rawwwkstar ,chitra and i, efffinggggg cute. hahh, and did something really stupid with the library books, hahah, see the picture and you'll laugh. we were all surrounded by mountains of books for research on art. gawdddd. (all pictures will be posted when tina buddy send it to me.) i steal book from the library, ripped the cover off, and walked out like that, shiok. angel said she didnt dare to walk out with me. (: but didnt get caught, fun! dinner with aishah and angel. nice nice. reached home at 8pm.
______________________________
the maids are decorating and tidying up the house now, for the big day tml, baby sis says the more than 50 pple coming. its my ahgong's big day!, he's turning..... ehhh, i tink 80 plus. HAHAHAHHA.
happy birthday ahgong.
planning to get him something, and for mother's day too. rush rush. cant wait for tml, and my mum expects me to rush home right after LWSSOM. shuckks. i'll be seeing you tml.

&&&&&fiona lim pei ru is talking to me now about going kite flying. HAHHH, fiona fiona (:

video killed the radio star says:
we;ll go kite-flyinggggggggggg
video killed the radio star says:
OKAY
video killed the radio star says:
I WANT LIKE SINCE LAST YEAR
out / keon. thank you for making me smile. says:
haha.
out / keon. thank you for making me smile. says:
oh, okay.
video killed the radio star says:
REALLY
video killed the radio star says:
AYE COME UBI SOON
video killed the radio star says:
WITH EVELYN
video killed the radio star says:
WE SLACK AT THE PLAYGROUNDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD
out / keon. thank you for making me smile. says:
haha, and play kites?
video killed the radio star says:
EH NO THE WHOLE BIG GROUP OF US GO PLAY KITES AT MARINA?
video killed the radio star says:
OKAY OKAY
video killed the radio star says:
OMGGGG
video killed the radio star says:
AND FISHING, I WANNA TRY
out / keon. thank you for making me smile. says:
haha, okay, tell the rest den.
________________________
FIONA, FUNNY LUH YOU.

2007-05-09T20:49:00.000+08:00

paper screwed.
i wrote a poetry during the exam, and the teacher thought i went crazy.
here it goes,

left the qs blank,
my mind was blank.
time's moving so slowly,
i'm starting to hate chemistry.
it reminds me of you,
it reminds me of the pain im going tru.
there wasnt any chemistry between us,
let these memories fade to dust.

I REST MY HEAD ON MY ARM,
AND CRIED.
_________________________
went to far east at 10.30am with charm. the shops all haven open sial. den we waited for effing long. hahh, played psp. charm was super annoyed when she didnt come in first in the game, den funny luh. bought skull pencil and pen $10. charm was damn jealous that i got loads of moneyy, and got $50 only, hahhh. walked ard, and waited and waited till about 12 plus plus. damn tired oready, and very boring. shopped alottt. charm says that whenever i go out with her, people always give discount and all, hahhhhh.

saw loads of TP ij pple, some were friendly, and some were damn dao sial. /: charm and i talked about stuff again, didnt really had the mood to go out today, but she was kinda funny, den she keep making me laugh. so it was alright. went peni at ard, 3pm? yehh we stayed at far east for like, 4- 5 hours. damn tiring, but, bought loads of things, shiok. reached peni and started ''barganing'' again, superr funny. charm and i discovered that everyone says the same thing..
'' i give you big discount ah, must buy..''
'' now this very in, alot of people buy!''
''you want this or not? last piece i have oready..''
HAHAHHAHAHA, HILARIOUS SHITTTTTT!

den dey keep dragging us into the shops, haha.
oh, &&&&&& they all use the same exact bags can? hahhah. den charm thot dey franchaise of sumting. stupiddddddd.
__________________________
i steal skool shoes! HAHAHA, fucking lame. cos my mum ask me to get new skool shoes, and by then, i was damn tired liao. so i sat down and the aunty was like, '' is this size okay?'' den i say, yah luh yah luh.. den she say, '' you wanna buy 2 pair? and i will DISCOUNT for you..''
( hahahaha, - discount, a very common word. )
den i say no need luh, buy so many skool shoe for what sial? den i took the shoes and walked off, and the shop person didnt even realized i steal sial, damn stupidddd can? and i saved $30, and used that money to buy other things. HAHAHHAHAAH.

den charm was like, laughing like hell, saying i was damn evil and all. den i dont care. went tampaniess after that, charm ate and ate! and we saw the western stall aunty and uncle from skool. dey gave me $10 to buy food! hahaha, sweeeetttt. TODAY WAS MY DAY MAN. i was super LUCKY, and charm was damn damn jealous (:
rrrrrhahahha. the day was weird, and damn funnyyyyy.
charm: thanks, hahhah, for making me laugh.
________________________________

FOURoners, please tune in to perfect10 tonight at 11.30pm, fiona lim and tina buddy will be on air, HAHAHAAH. happayee birthday chrstal, whooohooo. mugging for art tml with eve. (; no skool tml, can sleep! oh, and XIN-DY FROM 77 STREET CALLED ME, HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! gave me a shock cann? /:
bought-
2 tops
3 badges
1 cap
steal-
shoes
___________________________
i waited for you to msg me,
like how you'll always do.
when im sad, you saw,
and you didnt ignore. - my heart was beating still
i waited and waited till,
i lost every hope i had in you.
it shows alot, and it meant even more.
slowly, the beating stopped.
stras are fading,
and im stuck here waiting.
waiting &waiting till?

i still dont want you to go.
the red box will say it all, please accept it on saturday.

2007-05-08T19:23:00.000+08:00

a week without blogging. &how time flies.
please cross my heart, i hope to die.

i've totally forgotten what happened during this week, all i know is that, its midyears now. 4months have gone by so fast, everyone's mugging. tina buddy, sotong, clar, fiona, EVERYONE. esp, those who hated studying. everyone, except - me. im sorry, you wanted me to study. i wanted to, i wanted to do it for you. but i cant, not anymore.
i want to fail
im going to fail
im a huge failure.

i cant think straight, but i'll still do the best i can to make myself smile. i dont feel like doing anything now, ijustwannacry. i thought of giving all the love i could give to you, with you, that feeling was so right. i felt the connection, i saw the sparks, i imagined the fireworks and everyone said you were finally the one,

but i guess; you did not feel the connection, you didnt think it was right, you never imagined the fireworks, you never saw any sparks, you never thought you were the one, the one for me. and you never accepted the love i gave to you.

you left me here, with tears in my eyes,
with the ghost of what we used to be.
im sorry, the blame falls to me.

baby.babybabybabybabybabybabybabybabybabybabybabybabybaby.
goodbye.goobyegoodbyegoodbyegoodbyegoodbyegoodbyegoobyegoobye.
___________________________________

& to all my friends reading this post, please dont worry over me,
studyyyyy. /:
_______________________

there wasnt skool today, but cos charm wanted to go eat ban mian, i go follow her. went to skool, saw FOURoners. most of them slept throughout the paper, as usual. 16ed down to KC, in the bus, i kept replaying the song, rascal flatts - what hurts the most. since last night, i played it about 20 times. didnt really had the mood to meet her, but i still smiled. sotong came along, wanted to go macs for breakfast, but too crowded, so went BK instead. went library after that, saw felicia &friend. they kept laughing at me cos i blur blur, den bumped into the plant thingy. saw ariane and nicole too. and van with her friends.

didnt really did much, stonned there. went roxy for lunch, sotong went home. charm was like, damn excited to eat ban mian. eat eat eat, talked talked talked, and returned to parkway.charm and i went ard and look at clothes, topshop, espirit, 77th street, isetan. tired, following her to peni, far east and tampaniess tml. wanted to call clar and joelle along, but they have paper on thurs and we dont, so yehh. planning to watch spiderman 3. heard that its really good.

chemistry paper tml, chemistry reminds me of you*. ohgawd, i wanna dig out my brain, so i wont think about you anymore. i suddenly miss skool so much,
i miss tina buddy and i observing people in class.
i miss having breast war with clar.
i miss saying ''hello xiao mei mei'' to joelle.
i miss fiona lim and her crappy talks.
i miss charm scoldings at tina and i.
i miss rawkstar and khai being dumb and dumber in art.
i miss FOURone disturbing every teacher who teach us.
maybe its cos you guys are always there when im down.

stupidddd, i feel. i said so much.
dinner soon, i dont feel like eating. i wanna sleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep. /:
last but not least, the song i keep replaying into my ears.
___________________________

rascal flatts - what hurts the most.

I can take the rain on the roof of this empty house
That don't bother me
I can take a few tears now and then and just let them out
I'm not afraid to cry every once in a while
Even though going on with you gone still upsets me
There are days every now and again I pretend I'm ok
But that's not what gets me

What hurts the most
Was being so close
And having so much to say
And watching you walk away
And never knowing
What could have been
And not seeing that loving you
Is what I was tryin' to do

It's hard to deal with the pain of losing you everywhere I go
But I'm doin' It
It's hard to force that smile when I see our old friends and I'm alone
Still Harder
Getting up, getting dressed, livin' with this regret
But I know if I could do it over
I would trade give away all the words that I saved in my heart
That I left unspoken

What hurts the most
Is being so close
And having so much to say
And watching you walk away
And never knowing
What could have been
And not seeing that loving you
Is what I was trying to do

What hurts the most
Is being so close
And having so much to say
And watching you walk away
And never knowing
What could have been
And not seeing that loving you
Is what I was trying to do

Not seeing that loving you
That's what I was trying to do
_____________________________
slit me dead
im not sad, im fine.

2007-04-28T23:21:00.000+08:00

FRIDAY.

english midyear was screwed.
my mind was in a total mess.
paper one was alright,
but paper two was hell difficult.
not that i don't understand it or anything but,
my mind wasn't on the exam, but on you.
i just felt like,giving up, just shutting my eyes.
but my fear kept me going.

i was practically staring at the paper the entire time.
just stoning there. dreaming away.
i cant help it, i was exausted; my mind was ready to blow up.
i tried to read the passage and answer the questions.
but all my brain could think of was your name.
all i know is, i did my best to concentrate, but
i did not do my best for the paper.
these days seems to be getting longer, and harder.

had math and bio, same old same old.
mr lee with the yelling, and mrs leong with the RACCOON topic.

clar had dc, satyed back with her. saw heather& jean. kaven came, and we all ran out to meet her. HAHHH, never seen her in such a longg time. hehhhehh. back to detention, SAW WEIZHEN. she acted so cold towards me sial, sads. i wrote her a letter, and i wanted to give her sumthing, but she turned me down. fuck luh, i so nice den she like thatttt. shuckkkks. saw angel, kaven, elyssa& annie while sending jean off to the 7-11 bus stop. 4 bungs, 1 crook & 1 bi. cool right? hehh. they finished my m&m's in like, less den 15 mins? ahem, scavengers. so, i went back to 7-11 and buy another tube of it. $1.30 lehhh. (x2)

cabbed to parkway with clar cos got thunderstorm, bought tie, grey diamond ear studs, made member ship for 77th street. yehh, and cabbed home cos i was late for dinner, the taxi fare wasn't cheap. shitttt, $40 gone. bathed and changed. the dinner was superrrrr crapped up, so i dont wanna talk about it. ooooh, SAW MRS TAN, CHEN ZHEN LAO SHI dere. coinsidence or whuuttttt?
________________________

SATURDAY.

stayed at home the whole day, sianx. LWSSOM started. saw joey and her sisterr dere. (; talked, about wz. yehhh. oh, &&&&& I HATE THE LESSON SLOT NOW SIAL. gawwdddd, its every saturday now; that means, i cant go out as much as last time, cos it will be very rushhh, dammit. NO MORE OUTINGS, NO MORE BBQS, NO MORE PARTIES. arrrgghhh, and the time slot cant be change, fuccckkkk. errgghhh! well, the good news is, UV 144/138 are still tgt as a class, AND there are 4 more students joining us, heeeeee ((((;

and one of them is, drumroll.............
xiao xuan! gawwwdddd, surprise man. yehh, made new friends today. and it was good to catch up on UV144/138, trix never come. today was fun, eh wait, got more bad news!!
MR RABBIT AND ANGELA LAO SHI IS NOT TEACHING US ANYMORE. sadsss. now is huang cheng and aaron laoshi. shittttz, but its okay, cos they taught me before. and its no longer UV 144/138. not it's AUV sumting sumting, forget the number. dey plus an 'A', it means advance. hahhh, im a professional liao. ((((:

today class was funnnayyee, as usual. the new students are quiet though. yehh, first lesson and we learned a difficult song le. damn hard to side read luh, and summore my side reading skills are badddd. we have to record that song lehhh. PRESSURE. ate dinner at 10plus with eugene. ate loads of food sial at killiney 7-11, i'll upload the picture soon. yehh. cabbed home with him.

MIDYEAR'S HERE; LWSSSOM JUST STARTED. got to practice songs.
shitttttttt, stressed up. so i may not be updating my blog, till ard, after midyears? yehh. sadsss.
CUTTING MY HAIR TML. YAYYY.

& im craving for nothing more, but your love.
don't you know i still love you?
im missing you like hell, if only you knew.
i need alcohol and stars.

2007-04-26T22:15:00.000+08:00

MIDYEAR ENGLISH TOMORROW.
how will i fare?

i better buck up, its just me and the books, till 1am everyday now.
no more television
no more phone calls
no more guitar
no more nonsense.
hah, who am i kidding?

did english revision today during english lesson, fiona waved at 302, arina and chaiming. tina buddy and i saw her waving, so we waved at them too. den miss goh caught us waving, and we cant go for early recess with the rest of the class. &FIONA MARIA LIM PEI RU never keanna, just tina and i, so suay cann? hahhh. but joelle helped me buy fooodd, so it was alright. IM GONNA FLUNK LIT, i did the wrong question luh. fuck. CA2 sial, and i blow it. uuurrgghh. oh, and the geog girls had to sing a little song with the bushwoman, miss anita sheku. hahhh, for once, im glad im not in geog. HHHEHH. &&& sng was in their class oso.

math was slacky slack slack. did revision papers. looked around, and suddenly felt that time was moving so quickly. in a blink of an eye, we're preparing for midyears. next, prelims and our N'levels. seemed like only yesterday that i was secondary one, saying, ''aiyah, N'levels still so far away.'' well, its just a couple of months time. rush rush rush.
time has a habit of slipping away.
biology was so- so. uurgghh, mrs leong keeps calling me a RACCOON. im not lor. i dont even look like one can? so paisei luh. cause, i was staring at her, smiling. and she was stoning into space. den she suddenly announced to the whole class, ''a raccoon is staring at me..'' wtf. SO NOT FUNNAYYE. rawwrrr )):

she* (not gonna mention her name) went insane during social studies today, but i swear, i was good during her lesson. i even turned up for remedial at the bio lab, AIR-CON! , but i left early. rrrahhhah. cause i was irritating her, so she asked me to leave the class. so i left lor, and i returned to 401. jean, joelle, tasneem etc didnt go for geog. dey watching scary movie. the movie seems pretty goodd, even the malay girls were watching.

stayed back in skool; self studied, kinda.
charmaine and i had a talk with jolin. ireallywannastudy. but i just cant focus. gawwwddd. jolin was superrr concern for the class can? shucks, feeling pretty guilty now. FOURoners, you should understand what i mean. ahem: chemistry, social studies, english etc.

To, 401 FOURoners:

ehhh, c'mon guys its our N'levels sial. we better buck up and prove to the teachers that we can do it, lets prove them wrong! we can, tgt as a class. we must! we're like, going nowhere. there's no more time to slack and fool around, this time, its real. i seriously dont want anybody to retain man. cause each one of you make of 401, everyone's special to me. its time to wake up, & though we might feel that we can never make it in time, we ought to try. one for all; and all for one. im getting worried too. for the class, and for myself. i understand that you guys wanna study hard. but you lack focus rightt?

shuckkks. im feeling that way too. but its time to step out of our comfort zone, pull up our socks and start hitting the books. lets plan study dates, c'monnn guys! you can do ittttt. i believe you can. give yourself a chance to SHINE, please? im gonna do the best i can for midyears. so i hope you guys will too. i dont want you to regret understand?? we've all come so far to give up; its now or never. we'll support each otherr. lets prove it to the world. are YOU in?

with loads of love,
porkpork, FOURoner.

alrighttttts, after sitting at the foyer for like, 2 to 3 hours, went 7-11 with charmaine. bought fooooddd, and 16ed home. with jean, she was actually in class the whole afternoon, surfing the net for lyrics, pictures and stuff. HAHHHH. walked home. LWSSOM starting soon, bleahhhh. smack in the middle of midyears. zzzzzzzzzzzzz

i need a place to unwind, all my thoughts and all my screams.
close my eyes, and i'll be by your side.
you're only in my dreams;
your voice, was the sound track of my summer
do you know, you're unlike any other?
your eyes are the brightest of all the colours
i dont wanna love another.

2007-04-24T22:43:00.000+08:00

24thAPRIL07' tuesday.
ART.
art was sCAry. LIONSIM roarred at samantha today, and he was just standing behind me can? i think i went deaf on my right ear. he is crazy, I SWEAR.

401 & 402 keanna spot check for food today. hahhh, damn hilarious. most FOURoners always bring food to skool, so all the food keanna confiscated. except for mine, samantha and butter queen's. i brought a bottle of sweets, but the teacher blind luh, den never see. HAHH, den she said, '' okay, you're cleared. you're free to go.'' so i just ran to the front, cause the spot check came from the back. den i shouted and panic, ''aye aye, hurry hide all your food, they checking sial.'' but in the end, all keanna. hahhh. went to samantha and butter queen and told them to hide their food in my bag.

samantha had this huge packet of chips, and eleana had a hotdog bun. HAHH. ran back to class with tina, to get paints and sketchbooks ready for art. yepp, ilovetuesdays.

ENGLISH& SOCIAL STUDIES.
had to do a summary thingy for english. its for CA2 i think, yehh. for 50mins. i completed it in less than 15mins. wrote jolyn's reply letter. miss goh didnt mind, cos i did my work oready, hahh. everyone was sleeping luh. superrr slack. social studies was next. she was late as usual, hence there was only about 20mins of lesson? after her lesson, jean and i just ran out of class without greeting her. HAHHHH. passed the letter to jolyn's class. she was absent. hurrrr.

assembly was funnaye, and unreasonable. had this decipline talk, and pupils can go up and have a free say on the rules and stuff. DAMN DAMN FUNNAYYYE SIALL. esp, mrs sng.
____________________
ate at roxy square with charmaine. and parkwayed after that. talk about loads of stuff. friendship, being emo, teachers, cliques, backstabbers..etc. yehh. walked around till i ran low on energy, i really wanted to sleeepppp. ooh, and theres so many things we wanna buy. hahh. 16ed home, with charmaine. ANYONE WANNA GO PENISUILA WITH US?

mum& dad went out for dinner with either their friends or bussiness partners from japan. yepp, they left me here with my sisters to rot. HHHHAHH. jkjk. watched a little tv and miss-called kit. soon, she returned my called. I WAS EFFING SHOCK, SURPRISED THAT SHE'LL CALL BACK.
cos you're* always busy talking to giant* nowadays, no more time for me )): okayyaye. talked &talked, till 10.30pm ++? yehh.

MY HAND'S PAINFUL. shittt.
__________________________

cos' you know i'll scream your name at the sky till i lost my voice.
i'd give my life to you.
the stars remind me of you.

HAHHH, guess what? this was supposed to be yesterday's post, hahh, but before i post it, i fell asleep. stttooopidd. /:
-------------------------------------------------------

25thAPRIL07' wednesday.

math test screwed, mid years screwed, art's screwed. im going nowhere in this world. I BETTER START MUGGING shucks.

pastoral care was damn slack, shiok sial. brought foooodd to class again. everyone enjoyed my WHITE tiramisu biscuts (((: eehhhh, got jolyn's reply letter; went roxy with jules& clar& angel. parkwayed with jules + clar, angel went home. clar got her lollipop for ahem; SOMEONE SPECIAL. yehh, walked around. boredd, so went home. julia was in serious pain. yepps. 16ed home.

i did an outing planner today, hehhh. going airport to do art midyear with rawkstarrr, tina buddy, khai and possibly clar. yehhhs, just like last year //: hhhhmmmm, going to penisuila with charm and amirah next monday. ehhhhh, STUDY DATE WITH WEIZHEN& YANCHEE SOON! ooh, IT'S RAINING NOW. feeling sleepy - again. just realized that i got loaddds of things i wanna get. GAWWD. KIT'S PIERCING HER STOMACH LUH, i told her not to, but she don't wanna listen. BLEAHHHH.
____________________
dinner soon. i kinda miss you. wait, who am i kidding?
I MISS YOU ALOOOTTT.

summer sweet bitter love.
i want you,
but what's the point? you're taken.
should i wait, or turn away?
irony call my name. bring me a summer day.

2007-04-23T21:59:00.000+08:00

nothing special about school today.

had english oral, gawwd, it sucks big time man.
THE PERSON WHICH I WANTED TO CHOOSE LAST PICKED ME. WHYYY GOD WHYY? why me? sat there for like, 20minutes sial. english oral has always been a breeze for me till MR JURAIMY picked me GAWWD. okay. started off really well. till it came to picture discussion. i say one line, he comented on that and on and on. like, he never stops hitting on me. SAT THERE FUCKING LOR CAN? the people behind me finished earlier than me lehh. but in the end, turned out that he was kinda nice. KINDA. yehh. still dunno how much i got. BUT HE BETTER MAKE ME PASS, OR ELSE. i mean, i sat there shaking for 20 minutes; the least he can do is pass me. rrhahh.

besides english oral, nothing out of the blue happened today in skool. hah, wait let me try to recall..OH MANAGED TO SKIP MATHS! yes. the class went havoc - as usual. jean and i walked around the skool. i've got jolyn's reply letter back. SHE LOST MY PRETTY LETTER. ); went to the library and sat on the floor. super funny; we spotted a huge chinese dictionary, got like 2000plus pages sial. den we played with it, den put back. until we spotted that, that dictionary was from letters A to F only. there was about 3 more on that books on the selves. we starting rolling on the floor laughing. ( really, rolling. )

fiona, evelyn, jean and charm were caught eating during chemistry. SO FUNNAYYEE LUH, COS TINA BUDDY AND I WERE EATING OSO. den ms tan never see us, only say them. hahhhhh. we smart whattt. ((: fiona even opened the packet of sweets before her very eyes can? wthell. these people seriously makes me laugh.

oooh, i just remembered what happened today during morning assembly. hahhh. everyone was peacfully listening, some sleeping. when suddenly, came a loud sharp scream from err, 502? yehh, this girl, screamed and ran all the way to the back of the court. hahh, it was super hilarious. cos she wasnt really running, she was like, erm, half squat, half run. HAHHH. && cos there was an insect there. HHAHAHAH. so melody from 402 who sat beside me said, ''aiyahhh, like that oso scream, scream for what? only a insect only whatttt. so irritating lorr.'' and she went on and on. den jean who sat infront of me said, '' scally later got a bug beside you ah, den you not only run.. you climb the tree oso.'' HAHH. we both laughed, --- at her.

SKOOL WAS PRETTY SLACKED TODAY.
_____________________

parkwayed with amrita, aishah, tina, nisa, irni, sheryll, clar, sotong, and khai. spotted elyssa, annie, butter queen eleana, cassandra + denise. everyone went their seperate ways and i was left aside, alone at macs. saw hinna, alicia and marissa. said hi and walked on. saw meilin and chrystal, fiona and yinxing there too. and lastly, saw evelyn, miko, alison& jean. they made a new friend. hahh, shes from chaichee sec. yepp, exchanged email addies. SAW BABY SISTER WITH HER CLIQUE. whoo hooo. slowly, one by one the whole group strolled in. ate macSPICY. hahh. tina made a special order, macCHICKEN without mayo. so i took the special order sticker and stick it on fiona, SHE DIDNT REALIZED! till 3 mad/ insane/ crazy/ freaky/ weird/ disgusting people from IMH was yelling and laughing at her. & the best part was, she thot that they wasnt talking about her, and FIONA LIM PEI RU just looked away. HER FACE SOO FUNNY! too bad we didnt brought cams.

tina and i was like, looking at them and saying,
'' where got sticker, dont have lor. dont have.....''
den a guy screamed and said,
'' there (pointing at fiona's back ) got what got what.''
fiona found out and she went totally red. RRRHAHH.
FIONA DEN, PLEDGED HER REVENGE ON ME! AND SHE GOT ME. she sticked a ''giant supermarket super save $1.95'' card on me luh. gawwd, i went red too. tina, khai, clar and i went up the lift at parkway centre the building which got alot of tuition skools, yehh. went all the way up to the 13th floor, about 4 times? khai and tina screamed, cos there was lightning.
the funniest part of the day was........
there was once, when we reached the first floor, khai turned ard and she screamed her lungs out. cos there's this wall, and she thot that something fell from the sky! HAHHAHAHAHHHHHAHHH~

16ed home, while msging JT. my day was fun, really. hahhh.
hey guys, im feeling a whole lot better, you guys are always the ones putting that smile on my face, yehh. making me laugh 24/7 hahh. thank you, loads. LOVES.

2007-04-22T22:24:00.000+08:00

i feel like blogging about all the happy things i did this week, but i cant. misery loves company, and here i am alone again.

its okay if you hurt me, it really is. i was thinking about all these, and i just wanna be happy for you. if i love you, i'd let you go. if i loved you, i wouldn't wanna see you cry. if i love you, i'd want you to be happy. i want you to smile, i dont want you to be sad cause of me. if i love you, i rather hurt myself now, than see you getting hurt. and you know what? i love you. it doesnt matter if you lied, you cheated or you played me. you made me smile for the past few days, and that's something not everyone can do. its alright, if you want me to let you go. i will. its just another broken heart anyway. everyone's saying the same things, everyone just come and go. how i wish irony can take me away, anywhere but here.

i once cleaned blood off your knee, now, can you clean tears off my eyes? its hard not to cry, but im trying not to. someone asked me, what so special about you; why do i love you? how do i answer? - because i do. the moon's so pretty tonight, just like you. its so far away from me, just like you. i can never have it; i can never have you. i dont care how bad you've hurt me. i dont give a fuck. i just wanna know how bad i've hurt you. i guess, you can never have that special present i wanted to give you on monday. give me a week, and within this week, please try to behave normally towards me, i'll forget you. if you want me to, i will. give me some time alright?

I HATE LOVEEEEEE.

stay tonight
by matchbook romance.

49 hours and 46 minutes to go
but who's counting?
I just thought I'd let you know
I filled my head with your voice
and now I'm drowning
well I wrote this song for you

You can stay tonight
and make everything alright
You can hold me down
and tell me that you're right
Tell me whats its like to be alone.

And we had this down
unlike everybody,
well I'll spend a million nights just like tonight
You know I screamed your name at the sky
until I lost my voice
well I'd give my life for you

You can stay tonight
and make everything alright
You can hold me down
and tell me that you're right
tell me whats it like to be alone.
(Let's go)
(You can Stay Tonight...)

You can stay tonight
and make everything alright
You can hold me down
and tell me that you're right
Tell me whats it like to be..

You can stay tonight (You can stay Tonight)
Make everything alright (Everything)
Cause Im alright (If you'd stay tonight)
You can hold me down
and tell me that you're right
Tell me whats it like... to be alone.
__________________________

everything was just a pack of lies. but its alright.
when you asked me to read your posts in your blog, it was raining.
& also in my eyes, and heart.
im starting to doubt you, but i dont want to do that.
i still trust you, so dont lie to me anymore okay?

which side of you do you want me to believe in?
which part of your story do you want me to take in?
which one of you do you want me to trust in?
you're making me confused.
empty promises hurt me the most.

IM GOING MAD.

2007-04-16T20:56:00.000+08:00

just finished dinner, had chicken spegetti. hahh. im feeling really sleepy now, but i just cant sleep; maybe cause im waiting for you online? yehh. & i wanna talk to you on the phone too. came back from parkway about an hour plus ago. DAMN FUNNAYYEE LUH. i'll write about that later.

the day started off with me carrying that huge nike bag to skool, vann was like, teasing me about my bag luh. HAHH, den i scold her. thank god i saw jean outside skool, waiting for heather, angel, ada and amrita. yehh. if not i have to walk into skool alone, and everyone will be staring at me carrying that gigantic bag. hahh, i felt really awkward, most probably cos im used to it yet? some said it was okay, some said it doesn't suit me at all. anyways, i slowly got used to it. yehh. PE WAS HELL LOAD OF FUN MAN. at first gan was like, '' alright, lets run one round the skool for warm up'' den we all went, '' HUH?!?!? DUN WANT LUH.'' hahh.

but in the end we still ran, but most of us walked, like strolling in the park sia. and he didnt screamed at us. okok, den we played net/captain's ball. damn fun luh, he told us to divide ourselves amoung 4 groups, and we took more than 10mins to form 4 groups, den gan said, ''aiya, since i let you guys spilt yourselves into your own groups, and you cant even do that, den let me do it..'' HAHHH, so we all seperated. wthell. BUT IT WAS AWESOME. the game was fun! faiqah kept screaming whenever the ball was getting towards her. it was strange, but funny.RRRhahhh.

everyone played as a team, as a class. it was no longer like before; when we only stick in our cliques, or distance ourselves from each other. everything's better now. we cared for each other, we went through thick and thin tgt. when someone's down and upset, you guys will always be ard for each other, im so proud of you all, really! ONE FOR ALL, AND ALL FOR ONE. thats our motto, and looking back, you'll see how far we've accomplished tgt. as one, united class. not just one person. but as a whole. im starting to love you guys alot. ILOVE401. yehh. lets keep working tgt. i can sense that spirit, all of us.. beating as one. as 401.

had lit test after that, it was alirght. fingers ache, wrote alot. hahh. after lit was chem, chem was super interesting sia. cos ms tan didnt teach, and instead of her, was an outside speaker. yehh, his lessons were kinda interesting. though i still talked alot. HE GAVE US BEARS (: he's so nice. hahhhh. recess was early today, ms tan let us off early. HAHHHH. yayyy.

after recess was SS, talked and laughed alot sia! den keanna scolding from egghead. tsk, she made me feel so guilty luh. so after her scolding, i listened in class, but then, i slowly drifted away again, sorry luh. but i cant help it. her lesson was too boring. ms goh didnt come for english, so got free period. evelyn, jean, charm, tina and i kept talking. from hunted house to perfumes. our conversations will never stop! talked till maths. jean, charm, tina and i was super hyper! den mr called us UN. united nations. HHHHHAAHHH. he funnayyee. cos we keep talking, like as if we were holding a meeting/ press conference. HAHH.

went to have lunch at marine terrece after skool with clar. yepps, it was good. den went back to skool, AND SAW WEIZHEN. oh gawwd. send rawkstarr& friend to 7-11 busstop. den went to com lab one. kept spamming loads of pple ( tina, fiona, clar and ''c'' ) HAHHAH, so fun. parkwayed with fiona, felicia, tina and clar, went macs. saw tas and amrita dere. they gave us their nuggets and fries. and we ate like scavengers. fiona, felicia and tina went home. stayed on with rawkstarr& friend. SAW WEIZHEN AGAIN! oh gawwwddd. and chaiming came.

talked and went home. showered and went online. ate and blog.
the days seems better compared to the last couple of months. my friends are so much more wilder, and my area's getting noisy again, just like last time.

SPOT YOUR NAME 401-ERS, HAVE EVERYONES NAME.

ME, PORKCHOP
BUDDY TINA/ PRANK PARTNERS
DADDY EVELYN
JEAN BRO
JOELLE XIAO MEI MEI, STRAWBERRY
CHARM LITTLE SIS/ AMBBASADOR OF IJ SCHOOLS
CLAR BEST BRUDDER/ BREAST WAR BUDDY/PARKWAY PAL
FIONA THE SOTONGHEAD
ANGEL THE ANGEL, MY ANGEL
FIQAH BB
SHERYLL CAM WHORE FREAK
AMANDA BABE#1
SOTONG THE TISSUE SUPPLIER
ELEANA BUTTER QUEEN
ELYSSA CHINESE REP
KHAI THE LIL DRUMMER/ RADIO
AISHAH THE RAWKSTARR
AMRITA AKA MR BEAN LOOK ALIKE
CHITRA SPIDERWOMAN
TASNEEM THE MOTHER
ZARA THE STONE
IRNI THE BLEAST GIRL
NISA BEST CHAIRMAN/BASSIST
SHIMIN - SI SHI
SAMANTHA CUPCAKES
AMIRAH THE MERMAID
SOFIA LITTLE MOUSE
SONDRA JAPNESE CHILD
JOLIN THE GIANT
VENUS THE PLANET/JEAN'S MAID NAME
FITRIYAH BEYONCE
MASHI THE COMMEDIAN
YANCHEE MY WEIZHEN AMBBASADOR
HINNA THE BEST MATH REP/MOST TALKATIVE IN ART
ALICIA BABRA
YINXING THE UMM, THE NORMAL
LENGBING AND EGGTARTS
____________________
JULIA THE EMO EMO
CHRYSTAL, FEI YU QING
MIKO THE HOMWORK REMINDER
FANGQI THE FABULOUS
DAWN THE SUNRISE
CHAIMING THE DUMPLING LOVER
JOLYN TAN THE ADORABLE
ALISON AH BENG
HEATHER RABBIT
CASS YAN ZI
________________________

im avoiding that feeling. im running away from you. i dont want to like you. i dont want to. irony, take me somewhere else. anywhere, but here.

2007-04-15T21:37:00.000+08:00

FRIDAY.
skool was pretty normal, except for the toe weaving part, gawwd, it was fun. i didnt weave, so lame luh, so i helped hold the strings while other pple weaved. so painful sia. must pull the strings tightly and all. walao, whole hand turned red in a couple of minutes. yehh. helped, yc, clar, eve, char, chitra, and more- but i forgot who le. HAHHH. the guiniess world records pple were there. and everyone was like, weaving away. FUN. cos can miss lessons. hahhh, missed bio and math.

stayed back after skool, cos got no LWSSOM, and dere's nth to do at home as well. yehh, went to com lab one. with yinxing, fiona, sotong and joelle. evelyn went dere for awhile. HAHA, helped fiona fix her com luh. oh oh, and i helped fiona many times that day sia. let me name afew..
1) helped her fix com ( but it still wasnt fixed in the end )
2) keanna scolded by a teacher infront of her sis class. cos she ask me call her out for her.
3) helped her in her dc.
yehhh, FIONA LIME PEI RU, YOU OWE ME MAN. bigtime (:

went to parkway that night, and went shopping. HEEE. it was just me, baby sister & mum. bought a new nike bag, and everyone says it's too big for me, is it? humph. aiya, whatever luh, so long as i like it, its okay right? RIGHT? (: hahh. shopped ard summore. till 10pm, den went grocery shopping, ran out of hair wax, so i bought more (: went home and talked on the phone. yehh, den sleep.

SATURDAY.
was boring. i was effing sad that day, and guess what? nobody cared ))): went to a mexican restaurant for dinner, ard siglap, east coast area. the food was kinda ex, but it was good. very filling. yehh. it was just my parents and me. HAHA. went home and called jt, talked for awhile and later on talked to chaiming, fiona and clar on the phone till 5am. hahh, the convo was a little akward. - cos clar and chaiming dere. HAHAH. i was damn high luh. keep laughing at stupid and small things. yehhh, im going crazy. anyways, to cut short, these people really cheered me up loads, so thanks. jt, chaiming, fiona and clar. DIMPLES. rrrhahhh. SPARKS, I SEE SPARKS. AND I HEAR BELLS. wedding bells. (;

SUNDAY.
ultra boring. guitar lessons with kevin, he crap alot sia. and his friend gave him a guitar, damn nice luh. HHAHH. didnt go church, cos woke up at 11am& slept again, and woke at 1pm. hence i msged jingying and told her i not going le, she sounded so sad luh. SORRRRYYY. next week okayyys. (: yehh, didnt play pool as well. everyone was busy. and someone didnt wanna go with me, so, thanks to her, my sunday was like -- hell. the person is..... CH_ _ MI_G. go figure. just came home from dinner, went chinatown area. yehh. HAHAH. talking on the phone now with that girl. HAHAHAHAHH. her mouse got problem. funnnayye. upload pics next time, lazzy.
__________________________

i'll wish you all the best, really.
you dont have to care so much about me,
cause i just want you to be happy.
im gonna smile, and tell the whole world im fine,
im gonna keep my senses,
but deep down, when no one can hear me;
baby, i'll be crying for you.
its okay, its just another heartbreak anyway.

2007-04-14T23:57:00.000+08:00

jesse mccartney- just so you know.

(intro)
I shouldn't love you, but I want too.
I just can't turn away.
I shouldn't see you, but I can't move.
I can't look away.

I shouldn't love you,
but I want too.
I just can't turn away.
I shouldn't see you, but I can't move.
I can't look away.

And I don't know,
how to be fine when I'm not.
Cause I don't know,
how to make the feeling stop.

Just so you know
This feeling's taking control of me,
and I can't help it.
I won't sit around,
I can't let him win now.
Thought you should know,
I tried my best to let go of you,
but I don't want too.
I just gotta say it all before I go.
Just so you know.

It's getting hard to, be around you.
There's so much I can't say.
Do you want me to have the feelings?
And look the other way.

And I don't know, how to be fine when I'm not.
Cause I don't know,
how to make the feeling stop.
Just so you know.
This feeling's taking control of me, and I can't help it.
I won't sit around,
I can't let him win now.
Thought you should know,
I tried my best to let go of you,
but I don't want too.
Just gotta say it all before I go. (Just so you know)

This emptiness is killing me,
I'm wonderin' why I've waited so long.
Looking back I realize, it was always there,
just never spoken. I'm waiting here, been waiting here.

Just so you know,
this feeling's take control of me,
and I can't help it.
I won't sit around,
I can't let him win now.
Thought you should know,
I tried my best to let go of you,
but I don't want too. Just gotta say it all before I go.
Just so you know.
(Whoa, Just so you know, Whoa, Thought you should know.)

I tried my best to let go of you,
but I don't want too.
Just gotta say it all before I go,
just so you know.
Just so you know.

2007-04-12T21:25:00.000+08:00

had lots of laughs in skool today, cam whored loads.
it was supposed to be a boring day,
but the unexpected always come.

before recess:
geog girls had a rawring good time wif sheku today, 2 girls from 402 cried luh! , haha, heard that the entire lesson was supperr funny cos sheku kept screaming at FOURoners. and dey keep moking her, well done 401. HAHA, i wish i was dere. lit's getting more and more boring. mr meyer is such a bore now. i want some sheku drama scenes, kinda missing sec2 geog classes. we were supposed to have a lit test today, to make up for last week; but he forgot, till the last 15 mins of his lesson, so the test is postponed to next week, again (:

I HATE CHINESE LESSONS. she keep picking on me luh, wtf. really pissed off with zhangfang sia, she irritates me like hell. i know shes nice and all, but there's times when i just wanna strangle her, till she just die. rrrrrrHAHAHAH. english was alright, went to the AVA theatre for lessons, enjoyed the aircon, and everyone was talking. went straight for recess after that. i owe clar 40cents for peach tea ); oh well.

after recess:
had math, it wasnt even 15 mins of the lesson den the fire alarm started sounding. tina buddy was sleeping, den she woke up and look at me, she got that '' what happened??? , is that ringing sound my alarm clock'' face. hah, amanda immediatly jumped from her chair! and mr lee said: '' what is that?? WHAT IS T-H-A-T? '' & everyone laughed. elyssa, clar, hinna's area was shouting yayyyy. HHAHA, the class went wild. after ard, 3 mins of looking and observing her surroundings, tina finally realized that it was a fire drill! den she started screaming, not cos got fire, and not cos she wanted to panic. but cos she can skip maths. HAHHA. funny uh. high fived my buddy and strolled out of class. mr lee ran, cos he must act as the fireman or sumting.

401 walked down, and the whole class seperated. some walking here, and some there. we were all over the place. the fire was below the library. we were supposed to head towards the netball/field area, but tina and i just stopped and look at the fire. and soon everyone else stopped and look at the fire too. mr lee aka the fireman was trying to put out the flames! HAHAH, supperrr hilarious. missed math & bio lessons. sat under the hot sun, and after 20 mins, the skool moved to the hall. had a talk abt fire safety stuff and other unrelated topics. sat at the back of the hall with family, yc, amanderr babe and chitra. had a drinking contest and chitra splurted out water! evelyn screamed HAHAHAHA.

had some heart to heart talks with some of them; i can sense their frustration. but i can do nothing but listen. poked sotong, and she and joelle ganged up against me. went back to class for SS, and she was late. only had 15 mins left of lessons, and it was chao slack. before egg head came to class, everyone took loads of pics, FUN FUN FUN. ilove401.yanchee, khai, jean, eleana, venus, sheryll, charm, chitra, nisa, joelle, amanderr babe#1 and sofia.--------------------------------------
charmaine advertising for yeos.
random.
TINA BELOW, and the expresions pics.

thrilled. // depressed. // shy.
chaiming and friends fall off the chair. caught on my cam. RHAH.
HAHAHAHAHA.
_______________________
homed.
jammed on guitar, and talked to chaiming, conferencing with clar and her now. dey both so.. quiet. HAHAHA. so funnny!

thats all for today. goodbye.
sorry, havent uploaded clar's giant pics yet.

2007-04-10T21:05:00.000+08:00

recently getting lazier to update, but here i am posting.
alright alright, i've got so many things to say.
lets begin with last friday.

FRIDAY.
woke up and slacked in the morning, supposed to go town with jules and fiona to get tina's present. but no one called or msg me, so i didnt bother either. mum told me that she and daddy bring my sis to queensway to buy some stuff, so i just tagged along lor. talked alot to my baby sis, HAHHA. we had a great day tgt. she slept over at dunno whose house last night, den her friend from TKGS kept toking abt me? and i dunnoe who the fuck is she. how weird is that? and on friday morning, dey wanted to gimme a 'morning call' HAHA, but didnt. yepps. went to queensway. and along the way, the car pass by kit's house.

and with such coinsedence, i was listening to PATD- lying is the most fun a girl can have without taking her clothes off. and the chorus went, lets get these teens hearts beating faster faster. HAHA, and my heart almost dropped out. hah. reached queensway ard 1.30pm. yeh, shopping was fun, my mum went wild and my sis and i enjoyed laughing at her & also at my dad. yepps, went home and slept like a pig for an hour plus, den went for dinner at this chinese restaurant with cousins and all, to celebrate my mum's birthday!

we were at changi, and i was really hoping that we'll drive past the old changi hospital, but didnt. dinner was great, and filling. ate loads of crabs (: haha, my cousins were teasing me about my binder, as usual, dey're full of retarded statements. anyways, talked alot, and ate birthday cake, my aunty forced me and baby sis, to have 2 slices of cake luh! effing full man. just cause dey didnt wanna bring home any left overs, sooo lazy. like me! HAHA. dad drove my cousins and sis pass changi prison, HAHA, he kept nagging away on, how we must be good people or else we'll end up there and all those shit. well, no one was listening anyway. homed at 11 plus plus?
my day was awesome.
pics will be uploaded another day.
___________________________

SATURDAY.
met joelle at parkway, den we took 36 down to marina.
ate this white chocolate + biscut thingy, it was really good.
bought a packet for joelle, HAHA. and she was eating mua chee.

{IN THE BUS}..

joelle; xiao mei mei. HHAHA.

reached marina square, and i fell in the toilet luh, so malu sia. too kan chong cos of charmaine ba. yepps, den all the aunties were like.. gasp gasp, tsk tsk. i felt so, embarassed. haha, meet charmaine, fiona+jolyn, evelyn+miko&hui shan, jules at LJS and later on, met angel too. HHAA, shopped ard like crazy people, but still couldnt find anything suitable to give tina ); so we parted into 2 grps and give 2 different presents. had loads of fun :D
heheh, lets let the pictures do the talking.

charm & jules walking to the esplanade.
_______________
MAKING TINA'S PRESENT, lil' TINKERBELL.

stuff; stuffings. stuffed.

added a shirt, so it wont look ''naked'' HAHAHA.

had loads of fun deciding on which bear to buy. HAHA, tina; hope you loved tinkerbell (: we went all the way there, just to make that for you. HAH.
_______________
WALKED TO SUNTEC. and saw the new ferris wheel, so i took a piture of it, HAHA. budden keanna blocked by the coconut trees thingy ):

took these in the bus, FERRIS WHEEL (;

_________________________
walked to ecp;

_________________
reached ecp.

HAPPAAYYEE 16TH BIRTHDAY TINA BUDDY.
____________________________

SUNDAY.
guitar was cancelled cos kevin was sick, didnt go church. cos woke up late, due to the party the night before.went marina again, but with cousins and family. had dinner, and walked ard. the day was pretty boring. yehh/ the day you first talked to me.
_______________
MONDAY.
i forgot what happned, gawwd, memory failing.
wait; okay. its all coming back to me. HAH.

went to parkway, saw loads of KCians. saw her* and i was like omg. shocked (: saw weizhen oso. HAHAHA. really weird day. clar and i went to giant, and saw aishah rawkstarr with 'upper' guy. amrita + alicia, bernedette and cass, valerie, yinxing and chrystal, weizhen and victoria. and many more, keep bumping into heleana and chitra. saw yanchee and co. dere oso. talked to cyndi, its been awful long since i met her. HAHHA. kane was dere oso, he looked super dao. i'll upload clar's embarassing giant pics some other time, maybe in the next post? muhahah //
____________________

TUESDAY.
went parkway again! with charmaine, met her stc friend. she looks like kit luh, hah, anyways. dey went dere to buy concert tix. tina buddy and co. was dere too. HAHAH, i guess we're just not fated ); ART- there was no thunderstorm from sim, thank god. the rest of the day was really slcked, ilovetuesdays.
_______________

WEDNESDAY.
cabbed to vivo, only to found myself regretting going dere. im not pissed or anything, dont get me wrong alright? im just kinda annoyed with your friend, thats all. im sorry that our 'anniversary' didnt work out, hey, deres still next week right? dont think too much about what happened today le, cos i dun wanna think abt it too. (;
-today was bizzare, but its okay.

cabbed back to KC, met up with clar and headed to parkway, AGAIN. hah, we're addicted to that place. clar seemed pretty tired, so we left earlier. bought something for my dearest mortal JOELLE. hope you like it. hahah. waited for 16 for 25mins, fucking irritated. homed at ard, 7:25pm, showered and called kit. and edit this post. HAH.
_______________________

yepps, thats all i have to say for now, its been ages since i last updated, &&the year books are out. HAHAH. i'll add in more pics soon. once i get over being lazy that is.

i dont know whats going tru your mind right now, but im glad i knew you. when will this last till? im hoping it will never end. i dont wanna spend another day, leaving in the past of my mistakes. the feeling of you slipping right tru me. irony, just let me go.
/
/
/
im still waiting.
/
/
waiting for you online, takes forever.
____________________

eyes shutting. & my bed is calling me.
i'll end here, nights world.
bye blog. i'll update soon.

you + me = us } love > hatred : enimies --> no you&me = no love.

2007-04-05T22:13:00.000+08:00

i swear, today was 'miracle day'.
supposed to have lit test, budden cancelled, and postponed to next monday. & i told clar, walao so sian sia, if only the test cancelled or postpone, den it wud be a miracle, HAHA. and my wish came true :D

chinese was really lame today. it was kinda stupid - in a funny way. everyone joked and laugh loads, the entire day was alright. im really loving my friends more and more. evelyn went home after chinese cos she sick, aiyo. got punished during math period today, again. with clar, so it was okay lor. talked alot, about friend ship and stuff. then mr karib walked past and saw us, den he said. '' huh? why you two keanna again??'' haha.

everyone cant wait for tina's partttayyye. and we all still have no clue on what to give her. cos my buddy oready have everything. ;D yeps, about 40 over people going. HAHA. bring cams peeps [; stayed back till late in skool. didnt know what to do, and didnt wanna go home. so went out for lunch with clar, tas, fiqah, zara and junior. went back to skool & waited for clar cos she got st john's. wrote my dearest angel a letter. and had some heart to heart talks with fiqah. saw CM. haha, it was kinda awkward.

went to the gym with clar, and rockstar, they both super funny, playing with the threadmill and the stupid lousy radio. went down to the canteen and saw tina buddy with charm. went to the NCC area, and talked. the NCC people marching and all. haha, and saw CM again, clar said she was scared to see her. aiyooh. i sqaushed charm's lime ball thingy, so she squirted gel at me! SHE SO LAME CAN! den my back was sticky. my little sister so evil, haha, but you made me smile so much.

the day was really enjoyable.
seriously, these people can really make me laugh!
ROCKSTARRR & the bung, hahah.

my heart is numb, has no feelings.
still healing from a love i lost.
the scars run so deep,
its been hard, but i have to believe.
fourONERS, thank you so much, for being patient with me,
love you guys alotttttttt.
________________________

is it a sin to be emo? if it is, den im breaking sins. im not gonna be emo anymore, i'll try to.
BAND NAME CHANGED FROM,
IN-HOUSE-SUSPENSION to
ROAD-TO-NOWHERE to
OUTSELVES. yes, out-selves. not ourselves.
crappy shit.
______________________

i finally got your attention, school's so much better with you around to give me that smile. HAHAHA. i've finally lost it.

AMANDA BABE GOT BRACES! hope you'll still look good in them.
KC carnival tix sold here, $1 each. buy them now. while stocks last.
_________________________

IM HAPPY, happy HAPPY. wtf.

2007-04-04T21:41:00.000+08:00

today was super funny.
i heart 401 many many.

ART
mr sim was still absent, heard that he will be on leave till the end of the month. so art will be effing slack. the art girls went crazy today, everyone ate and listen to music. jean gave out bubble gum, jolin and venus brought chips. chitra brought cookies and fiqah was eating hotdog sandwich. damn lame can? like having picnic. yepps, den everyone listen to music and talked. chitra, tina, jean and i did some changes to the art room. cos the windows dont have any blinders, hence the sunlight always shine in, and it will be fucking hot. so we climbed onto the cupboards and used newspaper and masking tape to cover the windows, it was so much better.

the art room got 2 levels, there were windows on top as well, so we decided to fix that too. damn funny luh, HAHAH. cos the windows were in the middle of nowhere, so we cant reach it. chitra wanted to be SPIDER wo-MAN. den tina and jean took off their belts and tie it onto chitra.. like as if she going rock climbing or abceiling sia. HAHA. there was also this firedrill ladder thingy in the room, no one climed it before, it was kinda high. den angel and jean climb it today. angel was damn scared of hights luh, den she stoped halfay, while climbing from the first floor to the second. and freaked out, it was funny. eve stand below and said..'' aiyoh, angel ah.. why climb halfway?.... can see your panties, black colour summore, so sexy''. HHAHA. when angel almost reached the top, tina yelled '' jean, hurry rescue angel'' IT WAS HILARIOUS.

theres this room called the dark room too. shimin said it was haunted. it was super dark luh! chitra, aishah, tina and i went in after walking around the skool. damn scary. den more and more art girls went in. HAHA. there was nothing inside, it was just pitch black. smantha helped fiquah pluck her eyebrows today, fiquah was saying that it was pain and all. HHAA, the art girls rawwwk luh. you guys always make my day no matter how depressed i am.
_______________________

skool was alright, saw amanda babe's ben&jerry's water bottle, and it made me think of someone. then i cried. everyone cheered me up, so i felt much much better. got punished with jean, eve, angel,and sandra today during math. sat outside the class and talked (; it was hot, but it was fun. went parkway with clar, sotong, amrita and alicia today, came home at 7.20pm. didnt go marina to watch mr bean cos clar didnt felt like going le. parkway with dem was fun sia, amrita went mad and hyper. they made me smile so much. bought a binder!!! yepps, its breast binding time, heheheh. fiona freak out so easily (((((;

ate at BK. saw loads of my sister friends. reached home and bathed. was talking to my sister during dinner, AND A BUNG LIKES HER! OMFG. haha, sec 2 summore. and the worse thing is, that bung dunno that my sister have a bung as a sister. thats me (; HAHA. my day was super hilarious man! thanks to my friends who kept me smiling. i love you guys loads. i'll be okay, cos i dun want you guys to worry over me anymore.
_________________________

THANK YOU'S

clarissa: though you wasnt dere when i cried today, you were always dere to lend a listening ear. loves, youre the best brudder anyone can have, and funny too ((((:

joelle: thank you for today. you're always the one who keeps waking me up and realizing my mistakes, love you xiao mei mei.

angel: my dearest angel ahh! you're like my guardian angel, you never fail to give me good advise, and console me when im down. i love your litle song you sang to me today, it really cheered me up loads.

evelyn: daddy, surprisingly.. you were the first one who noticed that i was about to cry, i can still remember you say.. '' baby, nvm, if she dun want you, i want okayy??? dont cry le luh ''. THANK YOUUU.

jean: thanks for the pats on my back and head today, first time i see you care so much for me lehhh, ahahaha.

sotong: whenever i look at you in class, i'll smile. i dunnow what i'll do without you.

charm: you're like jean like that. so surprising. first time hear you say, '' you okay anot.'' thank you little sister (:

amrita& tina buddy: LOVESSS, you two, must NEVER leave my sight, cos i'll comfirm be lost without you de. both of you, brought so much help to me. love youuu guys (;

amanda babe: hey babe, dont be sad okay? thanks for your concern today, little things means alot to me. you'll always be my babe.

zara, tas and sofia: woohoo, how did you guys know i cried? thanks for cheering me up. and sofia, thanks for the pic during bio today. (((: i wont cry anymore okayy??

to everyone else: fiona, yanchee, and 401.thank you, KC.FOURONERS.ALL.THE.WAY! one for all, and all for one.

i promise you guys that i wont do anything stupid okay? im doing all i can to be my old self again. just give me some time, im starting to feel better now. thanks to all of you, really really brightened up my day.
_______________________

THIS SONG IS DEDICATED TO YOU GUYS.
patience by take that

Just have a little patience I'm still hurting from a love I lost
I'm feeling your frustration that any minute all the pain will stop
just hold me close inside your arms tonight don't be to hard on my emotions

Cause I need time
My heart is numb has no feeling
So while I'm still healing just try and have a little patience

I really wanna start over again
I know you wanna be my salvation
the one that I can always depend
I'll try to be strong believe me
I'm trying to move on
it's complicated but understand me

Cause I need time
My heart is numb has no feeling
So while I'm still healing just try and have little patience yeah
Have a little patience yeah

Cause the scars run so deep it's been hard but I have to believe
have a little patience
have a little patience

Whooo cause i
I just need time
My heart is numb has no feeling so while I'm still healing
just try and have a little patience have a little patience
my heart is numb has no feeling so while I'm still healing
just try and have a little patience.
_______________________

i must start selling the KC family day/ sports day carnival tickets le, anyone wanna buy?

MY SISTER WILL NEVER LIKE YOU, SO JUST GIVE UP, shes mine. my baby sister. heh. i sound so mean, but who cares, i must and will protect my sister (;

owed money;
zara: $35
alicia: $3
clar: $4
xiao he: $50
yuki: $12 ( cleared )

2007-04-03T21:03:00.000+08:00

It doesn't matter to you anymore.
if I live or I die, if im happy or I cry.
__________________

you're right, things can never be the same again. even with all the tears i wasted every night, it just cant bring back the old you to me no more. the irony i felt, the misery i gave. nothing makes sense, this time round, im really going mad. you used to care, whenever i was down. now, you don't even realized it till you're reading this post. did you ever wondered why i stayed silent while talking to you on the phone? you didn't even know that i was crying. within those 5 days without talking to you, seemed like as if it was nothing to me. but in fact, it did. it was everything.

you made me think, if it was what i done which was wrong. i thought hard, and i thought long. yes, it was my fault. it was my fault that i believe what my friends said, and not myself. i ended up hurting you, but do you know? it ended up hurting me too. the burden was too much, the pain just wont stop. im smacked in the middle, to trust my friends, or not. making that decision was hard for me, you know that right? i was left with nothing. alone and filled with hatred with myself, that was how much i care and loved you.

i couldn't bring myself to forgive myself. everything was going down. 16 cuts was what you gave me, with every slit i saw, seems like my heart was bleeding. i cant put down the past, i cant control myself. you finally said you gave up on me. but is that fair? i didnt asked for any of this. i didnt meant for it to be like this. i tried and tried i cried every fucking night. all im asking is a chance, i know you dont trust me anymore. but it was all
misunderstanding before.

______________________________

i want to love you, but i dont want to bring you pain.
i want to have you, but you'll only run away.
i kept everything inside, and now i'll just explode and die.
theres no one to turn to, im feeling distain.
whats the point of loving you, when you dont feel the same way?
why cant things go back to before?
what must i do to bring you back?

is this the beginning, or is this the final end?
is this how you feel when you slit your wrist?
believe me, im feeling a thousand times worse than this.
shud I give up or shud i embrace on
is this love or is this just another emo song?

I feel so broken, just put me back together.
we can give up, or we could last forever.
but im never complete,
a piece is missing from the puzzle.
can you come back, please dont say never.
___________________________

love me, dont go. I still love you as much as before.
it hurts, a lot. Dont question my love,
im doing all I can to show.

MY TEAR TANK IS EMPTY, BUT WHY AM I STILL CRYING?

2007-04-01T14:56:00.000+08:00

unexpected things really do happen when you dont expect them, REALLY! alright, i've got loads of things to say.
first of all, HAPPY APRIL FOOLS DAY EVERYONE.

things are really looking brighter and better for me, i dont want time to move on, i want things to be like this forever (; can it?
___________________

KIT FINALLY TALKED TO ME. hahahahahaha, i was sooo sooo high luh, went out for dinner, den i msg her.. when i reached home, i asked if i can talk to her for while, den she say okay. we ended up talking till 2plus to 3am liddat. yep, talked about many many things luh, den we meeting on thursday summore!!! hahaha, BUT, got a guy like her luh. everytime think about it, i'll feel angry. dunno why. do i still have feelings for her? i really dunno, all i noe is that i care for her alot. and i dun want that guy to take her away from me ): i guess i've got mixed feelings, if i continue liking her, she'll run away from me again. and i dun want it this way, i wanna tok to her and all. i mean, she really treats me as a friend, shud i do the same? she no longer feel the same way i feel for her now.

Cause obviously she's out of my league
I'm wastin my time
Cause she'll never be mine
And I know I
never will be good enough for her.

AMRITA, I NEED YOU AGAIN!!!!

den she unblock me on msn le. OMG (((((; my emo days are over! everything's falling into place now, the last couple of months seems so so far away le. god really spoke to me. THANK YOUUUUU. heeh. anyways, no matter what, im really really happy that things cleared up le, you're a really special friend to me. & maybe thats why im afraid of letting you go. i hope that you'll forget about my punishment. LOVES~
______________________

went out with angel, saw clar and her st'john friends, and jean with her family. MY ANGEL passed to angel to GIVE ME A LITTLE PIG. damn cute can?? haha. cabbed down to aljunied to meet evelynn, went to tiny box recording studio. angel and evelynn went to record, dey wanted me to go too, but i didnt prepare any songs, so i didnt. but, im planning to go with my LWSSOM friends though. yepps. erm, went to town and meet evelynn's friends, called jack and joanne. its joanne, not jill. HAHA. yepp, jack seems pretty dao. but joanne's still okay ba. ate at LJS again! walked ard, den 36ed home with angel.

in the bus with angel.

reached home, and slacked for awhile, den went out for dinner. DEN I TALKED TO KIT! hahah, im so effing high right now.
______________________

guitar was cancelled today. i may be cutting my hair later, asked my sis to follow me to parkway, den she dunwan. whatever luh ): hummph, that lazy ass... got to do a shirt for a special someone, cos she giving me sumting (((; and i only have 4 to 5 days to complete it?? haha.
__________________

jing ying called me back to church afew days ago, she oso asked me to go for church camp, shud i go? i dunot feel like going tough. haixx.
IM GOING SHOPPING WITH AMRITA! still dunno when, but its on.
fiona and co. still havent decided when dey buying tina's present yet luh. HAHA. but its gonna be a memorable one. (:
______________________

cassandra's dad passed away ytd morning, im damn worried for her luh. i wonder if shes really okay anot. EVERYONE WHO KNOWS CASS, PRAY FOR HER AND HER FAMILY ALRIGHT? though time.

everything's unexpected.
______________________

i did this after talking to kit, it was totally random, but i was bored. this pic was taken last year. LOOK AT HOW WE'VE CHANGED! <<33 haha, so crappy, but its funny right? HAHA. i slept at 4am.

going out le, bye bye blog.

2007-03-30T21:49:00.000+08:00

im super high now (((:
i like the way things are.
today seemed like it was the best day ever.

the starting of the day was bad. but slowly things got better. clar and i are okay now, and things suddenly look as if it was totally back to normal again. its the little things that you guys do which brings the smile back on my face again. i really wish things could stay the same like today.

morning exercise was a drag, everyone seemed so dead. went to the toilet with joelle and evelyn. talked along the way, den went back to the hall. so many people there luh. suddenly i got a punch from someone, i almost yelled 'fuck you' at her, but didnt. i turned around, den i saw that girl who looks like kit luh!! i was like, damn shocked can?? she was like, ' omg.. sorry sorry....' den i was like, smiling to myself and saying, ' erm, haha. nvm luh..' she smiled back at me, den i got another hit from someone. it was a junior, so i just yelled, fuck you luhh.. den that girl who looks like kit stare at me, cos i didnt scold her, and i scolded someone else who did the same thing as her. hahaha, damn funny can??
unexpected things always happen if you dont expect them - clar.

i almost cried to amrita today, but i told myself that i wont cry because of her anymore. so i didnt (((: & during recess, you suddenly said sorry to me luh? the second shocking incident of the day sia! your sorry gave me so much relief you know??? i was totally stunned, dunno what to say, tried my best not to smile, but i tink i did.. cos your apology meant so much to me. its been two long months, and i suddenly felt like, the 'war' is over. but im still afraid that things will go back to its bad self again. god, speak to me, what shud i do? forgive and forget? or just run from the truth?

jean,
i didnt choose to hate you, but it was the things you did, which made me feel this way. i gave you two months to realize your mistake, but you didnt. i just wanted to let you feel how it was to be alone. im sorry if i hurt you, cos i really didnt mean to. i hope your apology today was sincere, cos i believed in you many times before, but you kept disappointing me. it only took one small word from you to make me so much better again. i really treasure you, as a friend. but i really hate it when someone just comes into my life and 'take away' my best friend. you're a brudder to me, brudders stick tgt. i really miss the old you, the jean who i can laugh and joke with. i dont want things to be like this, you understand? i really want the past back. i want to be happy in class again. can you help me archieve that? can you make a promise and never break it? this caused so much tears from me, and im on the verge of giving up. dont let me loose that hope in you.
___________________

brought ferrero rocher for some buddys today in class. (:
i gave sheryll two, one for samantha and one for herself, and guess what? she gobbled both up! samantha found out, and she was damn upset. HAHAHHA. took pity on her, so i gave her one. it took away that frown on her face. (:

GAVE,
evelyn
charm
sotong
tina
amanda
angel
amrita
clar
samantha
sheryll
fiona
aishah
amrita
my secret mortal
& joelle's secret mortal.
found out today that a simple piece of chocolate can really make someone's day brighter. bringing more on monday, for everyone in 401.

tina's parrttyye's not with jolin's, sads. we still havent made up our mind on what presnet to give tina yet. oooh, and charm is combining presents with us too. left her name out. HAHA. sorry ahh. yepps.

charm and tina called me a bimbo today )): cos i kept singing the song girlfriend. thanks to amanda and my sister luh, keep singing and singing. now the song's stuck in my head. im not a bimbo!

stayed back in skool for soccer, and it was cancelled luh! like wtf. haha, however, mrs sim said that we can play soccer whenever we want, so yehh. it wasnt that bad. stayed in skool till about 6pm? waited for clar. saw evelyn and talked. saw cass too, den she was telling me about her frinedship prob. kinda creepy though. CASS DUN WORRY OKAYYYS? SMILE SMILE SMILE. yeps, went to 7-11 with amrita, sotong, joelle and eve. took away lunch, and ate in skool. it was fun (: talked aloot.

saw dawn ang, aka hamster (: she graduated le, but came back for NCC. she said, ' aye porkchop '.. when i pretended i didnt know her. HAHA. brought my laopo guitar to skool, so mahfan luh. went to parkway for dinner with clar and zara and lots of juniors; ate at KFC. ard 7.30pm cabbed home with laopo guitar. today was unforgetable, many unexpected things.

going out with angel tml, maybe clar's coming. cos she got flag day. gonna watch movie. yepps, i wanna cut my hair again. i swear my hair is mutated. grow so fast lor, and i never go yun nam hair care, or beijing 101 and those other shitty places sia, HAHA. weird.
angel, i wanna play pool, but with my back prblems i cant, sorry. next time lorr.
_______________________

ANGEL & MORTAL UPDATE.
my angel gave me so many letters today sia, so happy. whoever you are, thank you. i really wanna know who you are, cos you keep brightning up my day! thank youu, for the chocs, twisties, and sweets today. the letters and notes were so cute. BOOOOO. i want more letters okayy?

my mortal still dunno that im her angel, so heng sia. yepps. just like how my angel treats me, i wanna do those nice things for my mortal too. i bet she'll be so effing happy. loves loves loves, im starting to love my class even more now. my problems seems so far away (; mortal oh mortal, stop looking ard. im right infront of youuuu! <333
________________

i'll save the best for the last.

I LOVE AMRITA KAUR LUH. thanks for your advice. because of your advice, things between me and her are better now. LOVES. its been 4 days. countdown: 26 more days.

i was so afraid that you wont msg me back, or you'll get angry. but thank god you replied and you're not mad at me. the support you gave me, really made me SO SO SO HAPPPPYYY. remember to come to my blog everyday okayyys? cos i'll go to yours too. i really cant wait, to talk to you again. i hope that things will clear up faster, and maybe we can cut short afew days? haha. dont worry okays? dont let your friend push you ard like that, talk to her abt dis. stand up for yourself alright? though i may not be able to hear you out now, but you'll always have my support. (:

im still missing you, do you miss talking to me? its so hard to communicate like this. i dont wish to go on. but for you i will. till you get better, and you allow me back in your life again, i'll wait. even if it takes a month. torture is nothing, because i know you're dere to support me tru dis. deres so many things i need to say. everything is going on so much better now, im no longer afraid of going to skool, and im feeling more like the old me again. whats missing is - you. i can just imagine what you'll say to me if we're toking on the phone now. (: i wanna go shopping with you. haha, that was totally random. diao.
just to see you smile, 26 days will go by really fast.

im telling myself again and again,
its just 26 days, just 26 more days.
i can live tru that, i think.

thursday:
i drew your name on my wrist,
the rain washed it off in less than a minute.
i was so upset, my friends noticed.
dey said hey, now her name's in your blood.
i looked up and began to smile.
im missing you, are you missing me now?

well, thats all i have to say, haven eaten my dinner yet. im starving. HHAA. ciao.